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As You Turn to Go Lyrics
Let the camera linger on your perfect skin
Your windows peak and your lucky grin
And the bluest eyes I know
As you turn to go
Let there be a record of your gorgeous voice
The turn of phrase that filled my days with joy
Something like Bing singing soft and low
As you turn to go
I know I'm not supposed to say I'm sorry
I know you've had more loves than Mata Hari
But you know you're the star of my life story
And I'm so sorry
Let the poets struggle to describe your heart
Your art of love, and your love of art
Well if you ever loved me tell me so
As you turn to go
Your windows peak and your lucky grin
And the bluest eyes I know
As you turn to go
The turn of phrase that filled my days with joy
Something like Bing singing soft and low
As you turn to go
I know you've had more loves than Mata Hari
But you know you're the star of my life story
And I'm so sorry
Your art of love, and your love of art
Well if you ever loved me tell me so
As you turn to go
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who's the singer on this track?
That would be Nick Currie aka Momus.
...did he cheat on her? She's going cuz he did something to her and he's apologizing. When you cheat, you're not really supposed to say you're sorry. You shoulda known the consequences but you did it anyway. So what's an apology worth? He loves all about her and her presence and really does love her but she's leavin'. "Well if you ever loved me tell me so" I love that line. He loves her, but even though he cheated on her and let such a good thing be ruined, if she would just tell him that she did once love him then he'd be grateful. And this song was in "Camp", I believe. Love this song.
For starters, you're applying heteronormative meanings to ambiguous songs in which the singer's gender and sexuality may not reflect that of the narrator. You're assuming that because it's a male singing that he's obviously singing about a woman. I'm fairly certain widow's peaks are a male trait which would either mean it's story told from the perspective of a woman or, of a gay man(the song WAS written by one, you know) I do not believe Momus himself to be gay but by the time you get to that, it's irrelevant. Of all the Stephin...
For starters, you're applying heteronormative meanings to ambiguous songs in which the singer's gender and sexuality may not reflect that of the narrator. You're assuming that because it's a male singing that he's obviously singing about a woman. I'm fairly certain widow's peaks are a male trait which would either mean it's story told from the perspective of a woman or, of a gay man(the song WAS written by one, you know) I do not believe Momus himself to be gay but by the time you get to that, it's irrelevant. Of all the Stephin Merritt songs I've heard, I've always took this one to be about a gay relationship ending. Perhaps autobiographical or not, it just struck me that way. Usually his songs go all over the spectrum of sexuality and gender which is why I don't like when someone assumes one way or another. But being gay myself, there are subtle parts that feel like regardless of the true identities of the characters, it would make sense in this particular case to analyze the song with some gay context.
As far as what it all means? I think the relationship failed on both ends. The narrator likely did wrong as much as any one else but I don't think cheating is the issue. There are a lot of reasons to regret things you did and said that led to the relationship ending. There are a lot of reasons to be sorry.
For the sake of avoid pronoun confusion, I'm going to make both the narrator male. Though I won't identify the partner's gender, I am going with the gay angle, as this is my personal take on this particular song.
The "more loves than Mata Hari" and "if you ever loved me" tells me that the narrator truly loved this person. "You're the star of my life story" is a pretty bold declaration. It hints at the fact he is perhaps somewhat lacking in his own self worth to allow someone else to be the "star" of HIS story. Basically, while for the narrator, this is heartbreaking, he's left wondering if this pain is at all mutual. He's questioning if the love he felt was ever truly requited. Was any of it real? It would seem apparent that compared to the departing partner, the narrator hasn't had many partners or relationships, hence "more lovers than Mata" as if to reference his own lack of experience, opposed to his now ex-lover, whom we are made to believe has a good deal of experience. Perhaps, this is why walking away is easier for the one who is leaving. Perhaps all the years of failed lovers has made this person cold and jaded and it's therefore easier for them to leave, thus giving the impression that they never loved the narrator, whether or not it is true.
The narrator would seem to be younger or at least naive, less experienced, perhaps more newly out of the closet and has a bit to learn about gay dating and/or somewhat sheltered compared to the departing partner who could be older. It is very possible that this is the first REAL heartbreak the narrator has encountered. One can only hope that in 10 years the narrator doesn't become as jaded as his ex and ends up doing exactly what just happened to him to someone else, continuing the cycle.
I don't think the speaker cheated, or at least I never got that feeling. From the Mata Hari line, I always thought the person in question just got tired of the relationship. Plus, when you cheat, you should say you're sorry, not that it helps but you are in the wrong.
I hope that one day, he sees this, and knows that I love him to bits.