The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Everytime I clean my room I make another mess
Everytime I miss the bus Im late for a test
Everytime I'm re-incarnated its in the lowest form
I leave my window open everytime there is a storm
Everytime I have a hangover I have to go to work
Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt
Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand
Everytime I talk to aliens they dont understand
Everytime I skate I get another bruise
Everytime I get drunk I vomit on my shoes
Everytime I scratch the needle jumps
Everytime I drink milk it comes out in lumps
Everytime I freestyle I just talk shit
Everytime I catch the bus theres nowhere to sit
Everytime I catch the train Im hassled for a ticket
Everytime I bat in cricket first ball takes a wicket
Everytime Im drunk at a party in a toga
I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga
Everytime I eat I get a pain in my chest
Everytime I think its heartburn its cardiac arrest
Everytime I make a call call waiting interrupts
Everytime I dump a load at someones house it wont flush
Everytime it wont flush it stains the ceramic
If you ever see me happy its because Im manic
Doomed to fail
Everytime I give advice it comes out wrong
Everytime I get raided my prints are on the bong
Everytime I score I get shitty leaf
I was living with the Navajo until they heard me dis the chief
Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint I'd end up with the roach
Everytime I skip sport I get drilled by the coach
But everytime I play footy I get tackled in the dirt
And I crack another rib and it really fucking hurts
Everytime I brush my teeth I find another cavity
Everytime I try to fly I discover gravity
Everytime I have a craving I've run out of food
And Everytime we spin the bottle Im the one who ends up nude
Everytime I give a girl an orgasm she fakes
Everytime I jam it in the condom breaks
Everytime I gamble I lose all my chips
Everytime I eat all bran I get the shits
But everytime I shit it takes about an hour
And theres never any paper so I have to take a shower
And everytime I shower the towels already wet
And its not wet from water but wet with cum and sweat
Everytime I pluck my pubic hair to make myself attractive
My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic
Everytime I write a song radio stations ban it
Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic
Worship Satan
Everytime I make a joke people take me serious
Everytime I go down on a girl shes on her periods
Everytime I drive a car a cop will pull me over
But I say Im someone else and that Im sober
Every blind date turns out to be blind
My looks are all I have and that is why I mind
Everytime I have the dream when Im at the school dance
Everyone is looking at me cause I dont have any pants
Then we play piggy in the middle Im the pig
Everytime we play Tiggy Im the one whos it
Everytime I lick a toad I get warts on my tongue
Everytime I see a killer bee its when Im getting stung
Everytime I play scrabble I make the word at
Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat
Everytime I fuck ya mum she wants it in the bum
And everytime Im done its not because Ive cum
Everytime I crack onto a chick I pull my sack out
EVerytime I try to suck my dick I put my back out
Everytime I catch a wave I hit a coral reef
And everytime I order vegetarian I get beef
I get beef
A chickens not a vegetable!
Everytime I miss the bus Im late for a test
Everytime I'm re-incarnated its in the lowest form
I leave my window open everytime there is a storm
Everytime I have a hangover I have to go to work
Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt
Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand
Everytime I talk to aliens they dont understand
Everytime I skate I get another bruise
Everytime I get drunk I vomit on my shoes
Everytime I scratch the needle jumps
Everytime I drink milk it comes out in lumps
Everytime I freestyle I just talk shit
Everytime I catch the bus theres nowhere to sit
Everytime I catch the train Im hassled for a ticket
Everytime I bat in cricket first ball takes a wicket
Everytime Im drunk at a party in a toga
I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga
Everytime I eat I get a pain in my chest
Everytime I think its heartburn its cardiac arrest
Everytime I make a call call waiting interrupts
Everytime I dump a load at someones house it wont flush
Everytime it wont flush it stains the ceramic
If you ever see me happy its because Im manic
Doomed to fail
Everytime I give advice it comes out wrong
Everytime I get raided my prints are on the bong
Everytime I score I get shitty leaf
I was living with the Navajo until they heard me dis the chief
Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint I'd end up with the roach
Everytime I skip sport I get drilled by the coach
But everytime I play footy I get tackled in the dirt
And I crack another rib and it really fucking hurts
Everytime I brush my teeth I find another cavity
Everytime I try to fly I discover gravity
Everytime I have a craving I've run out of food
And Everytime we spin the bottle Im the one who ends up nude
Everytime I give a girl an orgasm she fakes
Everytime I jam it in the condom breaks
Everytime I gamble I lose all my chips
Everytime I eat all bran I get the shits
But everytime I shit it takes about an hour
And theres never any paper so I have to take a shower
And everytime I shower the towels already wet
And its not wet from water but wet with cum and sweat
Everytime I pluck my pubic hair to make myself attractive
My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic
Everytime I write a song radio stations ban it
Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic
Worship Satan
Everytime I make a joke people take me serious
Everytime I go down on a girl shes on her periods
Everytime I drive a car a cop will pull me over
But I say Im someone else and that Im sober
Every blind date turns out to be blind
My looks are all I have and that is why I mind
Everytime I have the dream when Im at the school dance
Everyone is looking at me cause I dont have any pants
Then we play piggy in the middle Im the pig
Everytime we play Tiggy Im the one whos it
Everytime I lick a toad I get warts on my tongue
Everytime I see a killer bee its when Im getting stung
Everytime I play scrabble I make the word at
Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat
Everytime I fuck ya mum she wants it in the bum
And everytime Im done its not because Ive cum
Everytime I crack onto a chick I pull my sack out
EVerytime I try to suck my dick I put my back out
Everytime I catch a wave I hit a coral reef
And everytime I order vegetarian I get beef
I get beef
A chickens not a vegetable!
Lyrics submitted by Hardcore_Icon
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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