So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I was once a boy.
'Til I cut my penis off
And I grew a hairy skull
Of stubborn fire
Then I was a girl.
'Til I sewed my hole up
And I grew a hairy heart
Of dark desire
But
There's no answer. just surrender
Send all your barriers into the fire
And
Let no foot. mark your ground
Let no hand hold you down.
You were once so sad
Till you cut your suffer off
Now you please yourself
And fight your own wars
And you were once so weak
'Til you sewed your wounds up
Now you've learnt to sing
About sun and shine!
Be you own hero
Be your own savior
Send all your suffering
Into the fire
'Til I cut my penis off
And I grew a hairy skull
Of stubborn fire
Then I was a girl.
'Til I sewed my hole up
And I grew a hairy heart
Of dark desire
But
There's no answer. just surrender
Send all your barriers into the fire
And
Let no foot. mark your ground
Let no hand hold you down.
You were once so sad
Till you cut your suffer off
Now you please yourself
And fight your own wars
And you were once so weak
'Til you sewed your wounds up
Now you've learnt to sing
About sun and shine!
Be you own hero
Be your own savior
Send all your suffering
Into the fire
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I think the way he says penis and hole in the song, and in the next verse says suffer and wounds, means that you just forget about your differences and your ''barriers'', and just be who you want to be instead of obeying the stereotype.
I think it's also about sexual confusion during teenage years of life; in particular, his.