Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
Between you and Biggie
was like who's gone who's gone who who rules theThe nigga kingdom and shit, basically
you know what I am saying shit
I was like this is like a fuckin election
[It is that]
It is an election...
[It is that]
You know what I'm sayin
Me and Biggie situation is smaller than that
Me and Biggie situation is like
[Sirens]Metro...we got a black male shot...tupac shakur was shot seven times
[Chorus]
You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I'm destroying them
I'm destroying them
[Notorious B.I.G.]
Check it, I grew up a fuckin screw up
Got introduced to the game, got a ounce and fuckin blew up
Choppin rocks overnight
The nigga Biggie Smalls tryin ta turn into the black Frank White
We had to grow dreads to change our description
Two cops is on the milk box missin
Show they toes you know they got stepped on
A fist full of bullets a chest full of Teflon
Run from the police picture that, nigga I'm too fat
I fuck around and catch a asthma attack
That's why I bust back, [gun shot] it don't phase me
When he drop, take his glock, and I'm Swayze
Celebrate my escape, sold the glock, bought some weight
Lay back, I got some money to make, motherfucker
[Chorus]
You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I am destroyin them...
[2Pac]
It's on me...
But still I'm havin, memories of high speeds, when the cops crash
As I laugh pushin the gas while my glocks blast
We was young, and we was dumb but we had heart
In the dark will we survive through the bad parts?
Many dreams is what I had, and plenty wishes
No hesitation in extermination of these snitches
Envious bitches they still continue to pursue me
A couple of movies now the whole world tryin to screw me
even the cops tried to sue me
So what can I do but stay true, sippin 22's of brew
and now the medias tryin to test me got the press askin questions, tryin to stress me
misery is all I see, thats my mind's state
My history with the police is shake the crime rate
Ma main man had 2 strikes, slipped, got arrested and flipped
He screamed 'Thug Life!' and emptied a clip
gots tired of runnin from the police
[chorus]You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I am destroyin them...
I wasnt more shocked or anything ya know what im saying
I wasnt more shocked of him dying to hear him
Pac is a strong dude you know I know dude I mean real strong so when they said he got shot I was just more like "again?" He always gets shot or shot at, and he gonna pull through this one again make a few records about it
But when he died I was like "Whoa", kinda took me by
Even while we was goin through our tramau I didnt wish death on nobody because there aint no comin back for them
was like who's gone who's gone who who rules theThe nigga kingdom and shit, basically
you know what I am saying shit
I was like this is like a fuckin election
[It is that]
It is an election...
[It is that]
You know what I'm sayin
Me and Biggie situation is smaller than that
Me and Biggie situation is like
[Sirens]Metro...we got a black male shot...tupac shakur was shot seven times
[Chorus]
You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I'm destroying them
I'm destroying them
[Notorious B.I.G.]
Check it, I grew up a fuckin screw up
Got introduced to the game, got a ounce and fuckin blew up
Choppin rocks overnight
The nigga Biggie Smalls tryin ta turn into the black Frank White
We had to grow dreads to change our description
Two cops is on the milk box missin
Show they toes you know they got stepped on
A fist full of bullets a chest full of Teflon
Run from the police picture that, nigga I'm too fat
I fuck around and catch a asthma attack
That's why I bust back, [gun shot] it don't phase me
When he drop, take his glock, and I'm Swayze
Celebrate my escape, sold the glock, bought some weight
Lay back, I got some money to make, motherfucker
[Chorus]
You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I am destroyin them...
[2Pac]
It's on me...
But still I'm havin, memories of high speeds, when the cops crash
As I laugh pushin the gas while my glocks blast
We was young, and we was dumb but we had heart
In the dark will we survive through the bad parts?
Many dreams is what I had, and plenty wishes
No hesitation in extermination of these snitches
Envious bitches they still continue to pursue me
A couple of movies now the whole world tryin to screw me
even the cops tried to sue me
So what can I do but stay true, sippin 22's of brew
and now the medias tryin to test me got the press askin questions, tryin to stress me
misery is all I see, thats my mind's state
My history with the police is shake the crime rate
Ma main man had 2 strikes, slipped, got arrested and flipped
He screamed 'Thug Life!' and emptied a clip
gots tired of runnin from the police
[chorus]You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing insight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
[I am destroyin them...]
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
I am destroyin them...
I wasnt more shocked or anything ya know what im saying
I wasnt more shocked of him dying to hear him
Pac is a strong dude you know I know dude I mean real strong so when they said he got shot I was just more like "again?" He always gets shot or shot at, and he gonna pull through this one again make a few records about it
But when he died I was like "Whoa", kinda took me by
Even while we was goin through our tramau I didnt wish death on nobody because there aint no comin back for them
Lyrics submitted by RaineBM1185
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Ministry
Ministry
Fortnight
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Holiday
Bee Gees
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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hell yea this is a good song