H.

Okay guys, I'm pretty positive on this meaning. This isn't my own interpretation, therefore I do not take credit for it, but I do agree with it. Okay, about the meaning from toolshed.down.net... it's partly true, but not completely. Ya ever wonder why they just DO NOT play that song on tour, like hardly at all, even though it's so popular? Well it's because this song has a special meaning to Maynard. Devo Keenan, his son, has the middle name of H... not anything extra... just H. The song isn't about any person at all, it's about his son... think about the song. Maynard had a bad relationship with his father when he was young, constantly being abused. Even though he loves Devo, sometimes he has a problem, and wants to hurt him. He gets it from his father... and it causes him to want to lash out at his wife and his child. that's why when he says they're "void of hate, but killing him just the same"... he means that Devo loves him, but he's still hurting Maynard because of Maynard's past.... When he talks about "snake behind me hisses, what my damage could have been", he's talkin about how what his father did to him wants to resurge through him and onto Devo. then the next verse "my blood before me begs me, open up my heart again"... he's sayin that the blood before him (his children, future grandchildren, etc.) is begging him to forget the past and start over... Infer the rest of the song for yourself. I think this is the best explanation possible. Thanks for botherin to read this.

Most say this song is about his son, name being Devo H. Keenan (initial only)

"Maynard" is name James picked up at Westpoint, he was born James "H"erbert Keenan.

He wrote this song while his girlfriend was pregnant with his child, and it is about the storm of emotion bred up inside him over conflicting feelings of perpetuating the abuse he suffered at the hands of his stepfather, and a desire to overcome these worries of "Do unto others, what they have don to you" (perpetuating the cycle of abuse) and raise his child with love. "H" is about Maynard struggling with his soon to collide past and present, and his realization in the face of it, that he can do it.

"the song is about being very close to someone who is tearing you apart, someone you can't bring yourself to leave, but someone who will destroy you because you can't leave them. It is the price you pay for being close to them; they aren't doing it on purpose: "considerately" ~ from the toolshed.down.net FAQ

This song sounds, to me, like the trials of being addicted to heroin. Of course the song is H. which is slang for heroin but put it in deeper meaning:

"What's coming through is alive. What's holding up is a mirror. But what's singing songs is a snake Looking to turn this piss to wine. "

The snake is the needle, here to help numb my pains, a great numbing sensation this is, its turning my piss to wine.

"And I feel this coming over like a storm again. Considerately."

This is my withdrawals, being sucked back to the needle. As hard as I try to stay away for my own concern and the concern of my loved ones, I keep being sucked back.

Venomous voice, tempts me, Drains me, bleeds me, Leaves me cracked and empty. Drags me down like some sweet gravity.

The drug wont let me go, its destroying my life but I cant, for the life of me, get away. I need it so bad, I want to get away but it keeps calling my back.

"I am too connected to you to Slip away, to fade away. Days away I still feel you Touching me, changing me, And considerately killing me."

I dont know life without you, now that I am clean, I dont know what to do but be depressed, this depression is killing me as bad as you were once killing me. I still want you so badly, I feel you trying to come back into my life.

"Without the skin, Beneath the storm, Under these tears The walls came down."

I am hopeless, I am weak and I am open, I cannot proceed. The walls are coming down. This is my withdrawal.

"And the snake is drowned and As I look in his eyes, My fear begins to fade Recalling all of those times.

I could have cried then. I should have cried then. "

My sweet, sweet relapse. I miss you so much. I hate the fact I am doing this, but I need it so bad, I shouldnt have done this.

This is the best part of any song I have ever experienced. I love this line so much, it is so compassionate, so deep. I listen to this song every single day and the moment this line comes on, my heart sinks:

"And as the walls come down and As I look in your eyes My fear begins to fade Recalling all of the times I have died and will die. It's all right. I don't mind. "

This is it, Im hooked again. I've already relapsed, there is no turning back now, and you know what? I really dont mind anymore. This is all I know so this is all I will stick to. I'm dead inside, I have nothing more to give, nothing more to live for but this drug.

Sincerely, Lafayette

I know addiction, I know the effect it holds on someone, and this song sounds to me like my own compassionate addiction which may be why I love this song with all my heart.

Like i've read here and there this song is actually about Maynard's son, whose second name is “H”. But I think that's not exactly about the fear to replicate upon his own son the violence that he himself has suffered from his father. I think that the lyric involves directly or indirectly 4 charachters: Maynard : who is the center of an inner conflict. The snake : Personification of Maynard's hate, rage, and revenge feelings for what he suffered when he was a child Maynard's father Maynard's son. Keeping these in mind, all we have to do is understand sentence by sentence whom the song is referring to.

“What's coming through is alive. What's holding up is a mirror.”

Maynard's son lead Maynard to look at himself and think again about his sad childhood.

“But what's singing songs is a snake. Looking to turn my piss to wine.”

The snake is the temptation to indulge in hate and resentment, making them look like pleasant feelings (piss to wine).

“They're both totally void of hate, But killing me just the same.”

That's referred to the snake and the father.

The snake behind me hisses What my damage could have done. “

That's ambiguois. I think the “damage” could be the mark of the father on Maynard, the fact that his personality changed in worst because he became full of hate, resentment, etc.

My blood before me begs me Open up my heart again.

But his inner voice (me) and his son (my blood) beg him to not let his father, the hate and resentment win, but to open his heart instead.

And I feel this coming over like a storm again. Considerately.

All the fear, inner conflicts, rage, etc. that he experienced in the past as his father came to beat him are happening once again in his mind.

Venomous voice, tempts me, Drains me, bleeds me. Leaves me cracked and empty. Drags me down like some sweet gravity.

As above the snake is the temptation to indulge in anger and bad feelings instead of fighting them.

I am too connected to you. To slip away, fade away. Days away I still feel you. Touching me, changing me. Considerately killing me.

That's the climax of the inner fight: Maynard is scared that the past hurted him to deeply and too much, so that's impossible for him to change, to forget.

Without the skin here, Beneath the storm. Under these tears now, The walls came down. And as the snake is drowned And as I look in his eyes, My fear begins to fade Recalling all of those times. I could have cried then. I should have cried then. (…) I have died and will die. It's all right. (I don't mind)

At the end Maynard won the fight, he is reborn: all the anger that surrond him like walls are gone, the snake that tempted him is gone. He look in his son's eyes in order to find the strenght to change and let the good feelings win. But even if he won this fight he can't erase what happened: he still recall those days, he still remember all the bad feelings he had to hide, all the time he wanted to cry, all the time that he died inside. And every time he will remember what happened he will die inside once again.

After all this song is pretty similar to “Reflection”: both describes an inner fight against bad feelings (anger and resentment / selfishness and sloth), and both ends up with the win of the good side of the soul. (“And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt. Don't wanna be down here feeding my narcissism” / “Without the skin here, Beneath the storm. Under these tears now, The walls came down. And as the snake is drowned And as I look in his eyes, My fear begins to fade”)

It's pretty obvious-- this song is about Maynard's son. He is tempted (by the snake, his father, with whom he had an abusive relationship) to distance himself from this child. He realizes, however, that his former relationship with his father is a thing of the past, and he has the opportunity to kill the tendencies he could have inherited from his father by opening his heart and being vulnerable in having a loving relationship with his child. Simple as that.

I also think that the song might have been different if Maynard had a daughter instead.

The working title of the song was "Half Here" - on several tours MJK has referenced his son before performing the song as well as saying something along the lines of it being similar to the angel and devil sitting on characters shoulders in cartoons and that they're really just friends.

My interpretation of everything is this - in the song he is referencing two individuals. They are his son, who he is speaking to and a part of himself that isn't ready to be a father.

He is having a conflict between the part of him that's ready to be a father and the one that's not (the snake). He's been having it since he found out he was going to have a child.

Beneath the storm is referencing his final "break down" after his son is born. He's realizing and understanding the fearful part of himself is the problem. He's understanding that he could have done this at any time.

He looks at his son and remembers the other times he has "had" to change(die) and everything will be fine. Considerately killing me is his son killing "that" part of him.

I've listened to this song for maybe 15 years but this is the first time I've really felt confident about it's meaning :S

I’m with TOOLrule3. Lets say this song is about a man who was abused as a kid reliving the old pain in the presence of, and in connection (" I am too connected...."),to his son (‘H.’ — Devo Keenan’s middle name); a perfect projection of himself. His well-meaning defenses (the snake) desperately persuade him to avoid the relationship and the subsequent terror, rage, and pain associated. His son ("my blood before me"), in total opposition to the snake's motivation, desperately seeks connection ("...begs me to open up my heart again").

Both forces mean well for there own reasons and for their own protection, yet one caught between those motivations would be ripped apart inside (“they’re both totally void of hate and killing me just the same” “I feel this coming over like a storm again”). The only way out is through. You would have to let go of your old defenses and let them sink to the bottom of the pain they’re in place to dam (“as the snake is drowned and there’s a look in his eyes my fear begins to fade recalling all of the times I could have cried…”) It’s as close to death as one can come to in a conscious state. He emerges on the other side; anew and reborn - almost a considerate killing.

[Edit: StsX]

I've always loved this verse. It seems like he's realizing and accepting his fate, and he doesn't see it as a bad thing. He's coming to terms with the fact that he's going to have ups and downs, and even eventually die, but it's all right. I love how soft his voice is in the background at the end of it because I think it really puts emphasis on the emotion behind it. It's like the quiet voice is his acceptance of his fate, and the loud voice is his will to keep living.

And as the walls come down and As I look in your eyes My fear begins to fade Recalling all of the times I have died and will die It's all right I don't mind I don't mind I don't mind

This song is NOT about heroin but rather the struggle between maintaining himself as the singer of an extremely popular rock band and being a father. The song was named H. after his son Devo H. Keenan.

"What's coming through is alive What's holding up is a mirror"

His son being born and like a mirror image of himself or he sees himself in his son.

"But what's singing songs is a snake Looking to turn this piss to wine"

This describes his other side or alter ego, the lead singer of a rock group.

The song is about facing the two parts of his life.