This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I kill the rhyme again,
I'm comin' sick and on time again
Words manfest from deep inside
Where people hide
Within it, chemical imbalance
On the triple beam Fuck what you heard, it's about what I seen
I seen it happen,
Back hand brand to face smackin'
Definite disorder,
Now his mindset is blackened
The doctors say he's got the brain of a murderer
This rugged style steals your brain like a burglar
My heart is bleeding and this pain will not pass
It's not receding my body going numb
A bad trip child, rolling stoned, keeping high
He don't know what he's doing
Go away, I want to be thrown away
Born sick, nothing in his hands but his dick
He couldn't handle pressure, he couldn't handle shit
For the life he was leading,
Led him down the wrong path
Where guns blast, don't give a shit
About the God's wrath
Don't want to talk to the counselor, Doctor
To tell 'em what's real, tell 'em what's proper
The situation's unclear like gray
And I know it gets worse everyday
My heart is bleeding and this pain will not pass
It's not receding my body going numb
A bad trip child, rolling stoned, keeping high
He don't know what he's doing
Go away, I want to be thrown away
I am a mess, I've made a huge mess
I can't control myself
I'm losing it, I've lost it
I've split all my marbles
'Cause i see you inside of me
Sometimes I want to be thrown away
A hyper spaz, and that is the way
Sometimes I want to be thrown away
I'm comin' sick and on time again
Words manfest from deep inside
Where people hide
Within it, chemical imbalance
On the triple beam Fuck what you heard, it's about what I seen
I seen it happen,
Back hand brand to face smackin'
Definite disorder,
Now his mindset is blackened
The doctors say he's got the brain of a murderer
This rugged style steals your brain like a burglar
My heart is bleeding and this pain will not pass
It's not receding my body going numb
A bad trip child, rolling stoned, keeping high
He don't know what he's doing
Go away, I want to be thrown away
Born sick, nothing in his hands but his dick
He couldn't handle pressure, he couldn't handle shit
For the life he was leading,
Led him down the wrong path
Where guns blast, don't give a shit
About the God's wrath
Don't want to talk to the counselor, Doctor
To tell 'em what's real, tell 'em what's proper
The situation's unclear like gray
And I know it gets worse everyday
My heart is bleeding and this pain will not pass
It's not receding my body going numb
A bad trip child, rolling stoned, keeping high
He don't know what he's doing
Go away, I want to be thrown away
I am a mess, I've made a huge mess
I can't control myself
I'm losing it, I've lost it
I've split all my marbles
'Cause i see you inside of me
Sometimes I want to be thrown away
A hyper spaz, and that is the way
Sometimes I want to be thrown away
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my fav song ever.... period