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The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) Lyrics
The piano has been drinking
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York
The jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut
And the spot light looks like a prison break
Because the telephone is out of cigarettes
And the balcony's on the make
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
And the menus are all freezing
And the lightman's blind in one eye
And he can't see out off the other
And the piano tuner's got a hearing aide
And showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
Because the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
Cream puff Casper milk toast
And the owner is a mental midget
With I.Q. of a fencepost
Because the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
And you can't find your waitress
With a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends
And you just can't get served
Without her
And the box office is drooling
And the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling
And the ashtrays have retired
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
I think this is one of his saddest songs, I don't find anything funny about it at all. "Not me, not me" is particularly sad.
Fantastic, no less! Tom Waits imitates a drunkard in this song, and it sounds great. Great emotions.
Yeah this is classic. Hilarious.
Yeah this is classic. Hilarious.
Great song! Blame everything else, but not yourself... Isn't that what this is truly about?
"imitates a drunkard"......................he was an alcoholic at this point so.............i think he isn't really imitating anyone.................just................oh i don't know........................the important thing is that he is clean and sober since 1992
meh, could be
Philosophy basically got it right I think.
What I really like is that if a piano could get drunk, it would probably sound a lot like the one in this song. Notice how the piano melody keeps stumbling over itself, and all those hiccuping out of key notes.
yeah, philosophy, i think you're spot on: blame everyone and everything but yourself.
or, shift the blame. you know, the old "but look, they're all fucked up, too!" arguement.
i saw a video on youtube where some studio audience for some tv show laughed the whole way through the song...i don't think it's really all that funny. but whatever. studio audiences laugh at god damn everything.
The show is/was "Fernwood Tonight", a spoof talk/variety show hosted by characters played by Martin Mull and Fred Willard (if you haven't seen Willard's work as the dog show commentator in "Best in Show", you're missing out). It's the late '70s equivalent of The Colbert Report and I assure you, the hosts, the audience and Waits are all in on the "joke". Yeah, it's a little "canned" sounding, but listen to Waits' play this song live in Dublin. The audience laughs along with that as well, especially during the "Our Father" and other "improvised" parts in the...
The show is/was "Fernwood Tonight", a spoof talk/variety show hosted by characters played by Martin Mull and Fred Willard (if you haven't seen Willard's work as the dog show commentator in "Best in Show", you're missing out). It's the late '70s equivalent of The Colbert Report and I assure you, the hosts, the audience and Waits are all in on the "joke". Yeah, it's a little "canned" sounding, but listen to Waits' play this song live in Dublin. The audience laughs along with that as well, especially during the "Our Father" and other "improvised" parts in the middle... ; )
Ultimately, no, it's not a "funny" song, but it's one of those things where you laugh so you don't have to cry..............
Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I don't feel "Geiger counter" has ever been used in a song before this. And I don't know any other artist who could pull it off so well