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Paintball's Coming Home Lyrics

They've got the whole world in their house
They've got the whole wide world in their house
They've got the whole world in their house
To see their new conservatory

They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
They're getting married on a Carribean beach

They've got a german shephard dog called 'Prince'
They've got a german shephard dog called 'Prince'
They've got a german shephard dog called 'Prince'
The one called 'Sheba' died

They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
They've got the joy of sex video

They were due on 'The Crystal Maze'
Yeah, they were due to go on 'The Crystal Maze'
Yeah, they were due on 'The Crystal Maze'
But they'd a month in Florida

They went tour in a hot air balloon
They declared their love in a hot air balloon
They drank champagne in a hot air balloon
And had a row on New Years Eve

They've got nothing but total respect for
They've got nothing but total respect for
They've got nothing but total respect for
Annie Lennox

And if I'da known they were coming I'd have slashed me wrists
6 Meanings

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Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

Oh in the verse third from the end it's "But they got mugged in Florida"

Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

To the tune of the children's hymn "He's got the whole world in his hands"...

Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

This is a great send up of Middle-class bourgeois pretentions in the UK. The references are v British and probably lost on those from o'er parts. However, they are classic and perfectly describe those horribly perfect normal people we all know and loathe!

Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

yeah we know...'Hannah100'.

Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

awsum song youve missed the "if i were a linesman, i would execute the players who aplauded my offsides" bit

an "apathyordeath" you sound like a upper class twat

"... I would execute defenders..." surely?

Cover art for Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

the_commander: is it really worth criticising other HMHB fans? There aren't enough of us as it is, and just because someone knows how to spell words of more than two-syllables doesn't make them upper class. In addition, just because they're upper class doesn't make them twats (to clarify I am Irish/Mancunian and as far away from upper class as you can get without being a chav). But I agree, the 'If I were a linesman...' is an essential part of the song.

 
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