This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
Here in the bar, the boys like to have fun
There`s a wager lost and an argument won
There`s a stone-washed damsel on a junk food run
It`s a kinder murder
There`s a ladder to heaven from a battered stiletto
Spitting out the words that he put into her mouth
See her in silhouette going down south
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
Jimmy took her down to the perimeter fence
He was back in half an hour, he said he left her senseless
Then he went back to his regiment
It`s a kinder murder
The officer said it has to be denied
There`s a tear-stained would-be teenage bride
All the family pride in the little ram-rider
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
The child went missing and the photo fit his face
Dishonored Jimmy just read about the case
He said that he was just taking up space
It`s a kinder murder
Jimmy took his best friend`s keys from the pile on the table in a flash
He was dreaming of the pigskin seats and the walnut dash
The knickers in her handbag and the one false eyelash
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Could have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder [4x]
There`s a wager lost and an argument won
There`s a stone-washed damsel on a junk food run
It`s a kinder murder
There`s a ladder to heaven from a battered stiletto
Spitting out the words that he put into her mouth
See her in silhouette going down south
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
Jimmy took her down to the perimeter fence
He was back in half an hour, he said he left her senseless
Then he went back to his regiment
It`s a kinder murder
The officer said it has to be denied
There`s a tear-stained would-be teenage bride
All the family pride in the little ram-rider
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
The child went missing and the photo fit his face
Dishonored Jimmy just read about the case
He said that he was just taking up space
It`s a kinder murder
Jimmy took his best friend`s keys from the pile on the table in a flash
He was dreaming of the pigskin seats and the walnut dash
The knickers in her handbag and the one false eyelash
It`s a kinder murder
It`s a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Could have kept her mouth shut
It`s a kinder murder [4x]
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i think the last verse was jimmy's thoughts while driving his friends car, remembering the time he had sex with the 'teenage bride' in the same car. i'm not sure if he kills himself either. i never thought about that kind of story, but it's definately in my top five