Iris

I've seen a lot of comments posted about how this song reminds you of breakups, but it relates to me on a whole different level.

I've dealt with depression, and because of this, I pushed all my former best friends away last year and I didn't even mean to. But over time I realized they had just stopped calling and asking me to hang out with them. So I became very, very lonely.

Being alone a lot of the time changed me. I used to be a complete people person. I can't even remember how I did it, but I talked to everyone and people enjoyed being around me and I always had a smile on my face. I think I got depressed in the first place because I became so so sooo insecure about myself. 'Cause I'm not exactly the skinniest girl there is, and my friends liked to joke about my nose all the time and they teased me about it being bigger than theirs and not pretty and perfect.

Anyways, the song just reminds me of how I feel inside. I sometimes wish I had more people to talk to, who would understand. But over all I don't want anyone to see my feelings because they really just couldn't comprehend them.

But, I do have a best friend right now who I do want to understand. We spend usually every waking moment together. And I wish I could describe to him that I don't like being dreary and tired and sad all the time. I used to be able to show everyone who I really was. Happy and creative and lively and musical. But the hard part of it all is that he doesn't understand how depressed I am in the first place and I really just do want him to know who I am. It breaks my heart that he can't.

Sometimes at night, when I get the most upset, I can't even cry. You get so upset that you just go numb.

That's what I think the line "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive" applies to. Because (even though I don't cut) cutters must feel the same numbness, and it's like feeling dead. So they have to prove to themself that they still feel alive because they can feel physical pain by cutting.

Well, that was a really dreary post. Sorry if I put a cloud over anyone's head. :| Buuut, that's my comprehension of it. Beautifully melancholy song.