This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Sometimes I wonder torn between my heart,
Torn between my heart and my mind.
And I feel my body to see if I'm in,
If I'm in tune with what I find.
But I don't know how to feel.
And I don't know what to feel,
Anymore.
Anymore.
want to be the decision-cision
Kill free things. I feel a difference inside.
I'm a boy who's so sick of searching.
Maybe there's a heaven nearby.
So should I let these thoughts out,
Or should I let you in?
Its so easy to be alone.
Look within.
Will I find home?
I just don't know
How to feel.
Feel
How to feel
How to feel
Feel
Feeling so afraid like I am stuck here,
Like I am stuck here and can't move.
I like to watch the sunsets lighting the warm colors.
The warmth it blinds the truth.
But I don't know how to feel, don't.
And I don't know what to feel anymore.
I keep on hurting myself.
Tearing off the skin, I let it burn at the touch.
What I've lived, what I've learned
Though it may be the truth, truth it hurts.
When we have something inside that no motherfucker will touch.
No I won't think like you.
If I did what am I trying to prove?
I just don't know...
I just don't know how to feel.
I just don't know what to feel anymore
Torn between my heart and my mind.
And I feel my body to see if I'm in,
If I'm in tune with what I find.
But I don't know how to feel.
And I don't know what to feel,
Anymore.
Anymore.
want to be the decision-cision
Kill free things. I feel a difference inside.
I'm a boy who's so sick of searching.
Maybe there's a heaven nearby.
So should I let these thoughts out,
Or should I let you in?
Its so easy to be alone.
Look within.
Will I find home?
I just don't know
How to feel.
Feel
How to feel
How to feel
Feel
Feeling so afraid like I am stuck here,
Like I am stuck here and can't move.
I like to watch the sunsets lighting the warm colors.
The warmth it blinds the truth.
But I don't know how to feel, don't.
And I don't know what to feel anymore.
I keep on hurting myself.
Tearing off the skin, I let it burn at the touch.
What I've lived, what I've learned
Though it may be the truth, truth it hurts.
When we have something inside that no motherfucker will touch.
No I won't think like you.
If I did what am I trying to prove?
I just don't know...
I just don't know how to feel.
I just don't know what to feel anymore
Lyrics submitted by my heart bleeds 4u
A Letter from Prison Lyrics as written by Louis A. Lenard Craig R. Rondell
Lyrics © Reservoir Media Management, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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My interpretation of this amazing, beautiful, and great song. A Letter From Prision has always been my favorite song by Boy Hits Car. It has a very complex and confusing meaning, but I think I got it mostly right.
"Sometimes I wonder torn between my heart, Torn between my heart and my mind." -The old conflict in a single person, go with what your heart feels, or what your mind feels, and he has no idea at this moment.
"And I feel my body to see if I'm in, If I'm in tune with what I find." -Just seeing if he's right with his decision(s).
"But I don't know how to feel. And I don't know what to feel, Anymore." -He's so confused with all these stuff going on he just doesn't know what to do. As he says.
"Wanna be the decision-cision Kill free things. I feel a difference inside." -He wants to be the right decision, and he feels something coming over him... I guess?
"I'm a boy who's so sick of searching. Maybe there's a heaven nearby." -So used to looking for a way into heaven, thinking about it, he thinks, "maybe earth is heaven?"
"So should I let these thoughts out, Or should I let you in?" -Should he burst all his emotions he's feeling, or should he just let the person into his life?
"Its so easy to be alone. Look within. Will I find home?" -Being alone is easy, being with people is hard. So he's trying to escape, but it's hard.
"Feeling so afraid like I am stuck here, Like I am stuck here and can't move." -He feels now like he cant espace this world of "evil" or whatever and he cant even move (obvious lyrics me thinks)
"I like to watch the sunsets lighting the warm colors. The warmth it blinds the truth." -That feeling of being calm and at ease with everything is all just hidding the truth that everything is bad and terribal out there.
"I keep on hurting myself. Tearing off the skin, I let it burn at the touch." -He keeps letting emotions get the better of him, over and over and over again.
"What I've lived, what I've learned Though it may be the truth, truth it hurts." -The reality of everything is that everything hurts him in the end no matter what.
"When we have something inside that no motherfucker will touch. No I won't think like you. If I did what am I trying to prove?" -The feelings he holds inside is practically all thats important and no one can take them away from him. And people assume they feel like him but he knows they don't.