Our Lies

Actually, I was never conceived and I don't expect to be believed.
But I found my mouth stitched shut with glossy pink thread
When I think of lie-filled love life that I've led.
I row boats all day with Karl, Vlad and E. Leon.
My tongue made of ivory, my teeth are all gone.
The bones in my face; they weren't here all along.
I'm straight and I love your coffeecake.
I found a puppy and I took him home.
Since then he's agreed to leave me alone
For over a month cause I'm spelling bee queen.
Let me tell you more and you'll see what I mean.
I took a sea-lion and I twisted it.
Then I kiss-ed it. It was mossy and chaste.
That is funny, isn't it? Not to tell you would be such a waste.
Oh, can't you see me,
I am your long
Lost best friend.
Oh please
Believe me-
All these things
Have happened.
I went for a ride on a carousel. I was on a yellow horse.
Right behind the swan.
In the swan, a man and woman - they were doin' it.
I didn't want to look. I wished I'd brought a book.
I looked down at the chip in my horse's red mane.
He had a high, soft beautiful voice.
I got down and ran around, and then I asked him his name.
He said out loud. He said it was First Choice.
Yes mom, I'm still a virgin. And you are Marilyn Monroe.
When I was a little girl, we grew wings and flew under the sea
To see my daddy: Mr. Edgar Allen Poe.
I'd crawl into the furnace to take a warm nap
On the cast-iron lap of Walt Disney.
Go out for a swim in the Sea of Mercury.
I never thanked him for what he did for me.
Chorus. Chorus. Chorus.