The Humpty Dance

(Oh, oh, do me, baby)
(Oh, oh, do me, baby)

All right, stop whatcha doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style that ya used to
I look funny, but, yo, I'm makin' money, see
So, yo, world I hope you're ready for me
Now gather 'round, I'm the new fool in town
And my sound's laid down by the Underground
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
So just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty
Yo, ladies, oh, how I like to funk thee
And all the rappers in the top ten
Please allow me to bump thee
I'm steppin' tall, y'all and just like Humpty Dumpty
You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me
I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
But sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
Uh, yo fat girl, come here, are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat, look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom, I'm crazy
Allow me to amaze thee
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
And I even got my own dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
(Oh, do me, baby) come on, uh
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
(Oh, oh, do me, baby) check me out y'all
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
(Oh, oh, oh, do me, baby) yeah
Do the Humpty Hump (do ya know what I'm doin'?)
Do the Humpty Hump (doin' the Humpty Hump) (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Come on, do the Humpty Hump, ha, do the Humpty Hump

People say, "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
But ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, be
All the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge
Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid
I'll use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it
I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'em in the biscuits"
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
And now I'm gonna do my dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
(Oh, do me, baby) come on, yeah, sexy lady
Do the Humpty Hump, come on, uh, do the Humpty Hump
(Oh, oh, do me, baby) sexy baby, everybody
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (come on and do the Humpty Hump)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, do me, baby) uh
Do the Humpty Hump (do ya know what we're doin'?)
Do the Humpty Hump (we doin' the Humpty Hump, y'all) (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Uh, do the Humpty Hump, watch me do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let a little of that bass groove right here
A-doo-doo, a-doo-doo
Oh, yeah
Now that I told y'all a little bit about myself
Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do, check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy, whack, funky
People say, "You look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty"
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
You got it down when you appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin'
Jig around, shakin' ya rump
And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stump
Tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
(Oh, do me, baby) everybody, uh
Do the Humpty Hump, come on, do the Humpty Hump
(Oh, oh, oh, do me, baby) sexy lady
Do the Humpty Hump (uh), do the Humpty Hump
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Do the Humpty Hump (do ya know what I'm doin'?)
Do the Humpty Hump (we're doin' the Humpty Hump, y'all) (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Uh, watch me do the Humpty Hump, uh, do the Humpty Hump
Check it out (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)

Black people
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Come on, white people
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Puerto Ricans
Do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump (do the, do the Humpty Hump)
(Oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
Samoans
Do the Humpty Hump, do the, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah
Let's get stupid

(Gimme me the music) uh
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
(Gimme me, gimme me the music)
Everybody do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Uh, gi-gimme me the music
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
(Gimme me, gimme me the music)
Do the Humpty Hump (do ya know what we're doin'?)
Do the Humpty Hump (doin' the Humpty Hump)

Oh, yeah, gon' and break it down (oh, oh, do me, baby)
Uh, uh
Yeah, yeah, sexy lady (oh, oh, do me, baby)

Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world
Keep on doin' the Humpty Dance
And to the ladies
Peace and humptiness forever

(Oh, do me, baby)
(Oh, oh, do me, baby)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)
(Oh, oh, oh, do me, baby)