Phil Bluetelle, Working For The Man

Hello my name is Phil Bluetelle--that's blue for my blue collar.
I work all day and slave away to earn my daily dollar.
I know some day I'm going to cash in all the paychecks I have earned
and take off on my motorbike never to return.
And once I had a ranger girl, but yesterday I split with her.
So now I pass the endless hours reading scary literature.
If you need facts regarding redwood, I'm the ranger who'll inform.
I look so handsome in my boots and green and khaki uniform.
Punch in, punch out: Working hard, I ain't never gonna stop.
Punch in, punch out: Someday I'm gonna snap, crackle, pop!
He kicked the ground, he always frowned, you'd never see him grinning.
He spent his time a-skinning squirrels and drawing naked women.
I often heard--you hear him cry--Phil saying, "Woe is me."
He got so bored he soon resorted to surreal poetry.
Then one night he went rabid eating muffins from Costco.
He went butt-wild and killed a child with a state-issued crossbow.
The stress of working for the man was just too much for Phil.
He ran off in the forest and our gherkins turned to dill