hopefully songmeanings hiatus will breed better things than weezer's i guess now we'll see

It’s not a hangover it’s not an epiphany it’s fact, it’s me understanding. While you would leave your light on you don’t care much about sacrifice. So I encourage you to go. But if you walk away, I’ll still stand right here. I won’t be waiting for anything but I’ll stand holding a simple card with a few words on it. You won’t care what that card says, you will have walked away. And I won’t wait. But life is tough and it will remind you of just that when you forget. You will need a friend to survive, luckily you keep a revolving list of those Friends, revolving friends are great but their commitment is slight. They’ll come and go and one day they’ll all be gone, and you’ll think you are alone. That’s when the clouds will gather above your head and life will rain down on you, hail will bombard your friendless soul. It’s then you will walk a familiar road. When you walk that estranged path you will find me along the way, I promise. When you find me you’ll smile and I’ll smile because you smile, and I will be standing holding that card “Friend for Life” it will say. With my card in your pocket I’ll be your umbrella for the storm that is life You’ll leave your light on for me, for awhile at least. After the storm passes the card will whither away, or you will just misplace it But future turns to past and history does repeat. Lucky for you I have a endless stack of those cards.

I am so vulnerable, god I wish you would take advantage of me. Submissive is my guard so you won’t need lingerie. I don’t share the definition of sexy with my culture, you don’t either which is why maybe I like you. Take advantage of my tenderness and let’s feel each others intensity for a night. I know, I know it’s not becoming of either of us… but think about it. We will define the word awesome like a wide-eyed kid when he sees his first centerfold. You with your dirty mind and I with my temperance. You want to finally live? You want to feel alive? We could live together and share one another, inside and out. I’m no pervert and you’re no floozy. I should just forget it. I want a lover that I can love, but I would just as much like to settle down with you, just you. Not to bask in our celibacy but to bask in one another, together.

it's been awhile, over a year now. i'm starting to use songmeanings more now that it's summer and i am unemployed. i'm debating if i should start back up with this journal, if anyone takes the time to tell me i should or i "might as well" , then i guess i will. anyway here are a few simple facts of life: having mono sucks. looking for a job is worse than working having something to look forward to can make all the difference

some random things i have written over the past few days: ~ i give bruce springsteen props i don’t hate, but i also can’t stand that stupid saying ‘don’t hate, congratulate’ i don’t judge people i give second chances at the times when they really are fourth or fifth chances i’ve never toyed with someones emotions and never plan to i don’t talk about my experiences with alcohol like i’m proud of them i don’t smoke out but i also don’t shun those who do i live each day as me. you live each day hoping to be someone different wishing you were someone better than the person you think you are you don’t know it yet but one day you will be wishing you were more like me i am loyal and never put up a front i love john mayer but also eminem i have friends that are people you’d never imagine talking to you call them nerds i call them independent thinkers i wish there were more nerds in this world maybe then middle-class 12 year old kids would stop heckling there moms to buy them clothes that plaster Abercrombie&Fitch on their innocent chests maybe then it would be ‘ok’ for kids to make good grades and be called smart maybe then it would be ‘ok’ for me to be me. ~ bliss oh how i wish i could feel you bliss but these damn girls are just oblivious and none know your name bliss we deserve better the both of us i mean oh how i wish i could form a triangle of bliss you me and she who chooses to know your name bliss

this one goes out to someone new someone i’ve kept close and depended on but never gave credit where credit was due this one goes out to hope. at a time in all our lives it has been our only friend the only one to care and to tell us ‘hold on’ ‘persevere’ ‘be you’ damn what has blinded me from this? am i just stupid? was it the depression? what the hell does it matter i have finally seen the spark and realized it only takes a spark to make a fire expericing life is the fire, but forget not you see, you have to understand you must feel be and see hope to be able to get the spark to light the fire to live life

a splinder in the grass a splinter in my hand could point me to that fact; i’m off track, i need a look at your fine ass to lift me up, fill me up, put me on track everyday i live without you i live to love you more for you’re close to me, i can’t feel you yet i’ll see the day soon that i will behold you and finally will feel bliss and see life thru your mystic anglelic vital eyes

i am always here when you need me. i love it when you need me, we talk and i make you smile no matter how down you are. we laugh and share thoughts, i am always here when you need me. i love it when you need me, i feel alive when you are down because i help you rise again. it’s sad to say but i like it when you’re down because it’s then that you turn to me. i am always here when you need me. it’s sad to say that, in a way, i wish you needed me more often. but time has been good to you, which you deserve, so we don’t talk much any longer. i am always here when you need me, it sucks for me that you don’t need me more. the less we talk the better i know you are. it sucks for me, i want you to need me more often but i want you to not need me at all. call it a binding situation call it a paradox call it what you will, but i am always here when you need me. and unfortunately you are fortunate enough to not need me much any longer. it works out well for you, you always have someone. it works out well for me when you need me, but what about when you don’t? no matter, although, i want it to. it isn’t in me to ask this of you. i know what you’d say, for you are so wholehearted and pure, but i just don’t have it in me. i don’t want your pity and i’ll never ask for your love. i know i don’t have it in me to ask anything of you but this one simple wish... for you to be you and to remember, i am always here when you need me.