I planned on writing something incredibly deep about brothers but there's only one thing you really need to know. Your brother is the only person that will ever completely understand you. He'll be there for you through everything, and will always have your back. I only have one blood related brother, and he's 5. I love him with my whole heart and I'd rather die than see him hurt. He's absolutely beautiful--blonde hair and bright blue eyes that I've always been a little jealous of. I love you, Ben. Never forget that.

I'm a CERTIFIED smartass. When you get to know me better.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake. you know my style, I'll say anything to make ya smile.

I just love how when you put lotion on your hands, it comes back to bite you in the butt and you can't open the bathroom door so you stand there screaming and beating the walls hoping someone will come rescue you. It's funny how the simplest things in life mean the most. (:

"Because you get high all the time, you can't find people that train all the time. But if you get high and train, you will get high and train all the time together and it will be fucking massive-takeover-smoke-weed-and-kill-people shit." --Nick Diaz.

Don't go acting like you know everything about me. There's more than one chapter in my story. You haven't even made it past the dedication page yet. That goes to all you guys reading my journal too. You're pretty dumb to think I'd ever let you inside. You'd think people would figure this out already, but now it's a new school year, and more teachers and students will want to know what I'm hiding. Sucks to be them, because I'm not saying. Not even if my life depended on it.

I get it, okay? When people look at you they see a beautiful, caring person that never does anything wrong. When people look at me they see an insecure and impulsive teenage girl with headphones and a messed up past that no one knows about. I understand. You can get on with your life now.

Nick Diaz: Give me some real chocolate. Real fighters eat real chocolate.

I thought that by leaving AJ, I was doing her a favor. Being in her life only reminds her of her father, and not only that--it puts her in danger. If something were to happen to her, I couldn't live with myself. But how can I leave, when it breaks her heart? Guess I'm staying--at least for now.

When Bill got out this time, there was AJ to think about. And it's not that I care for her more than my other little sister, or my little brother, but while I'm not in the greatest situation, hers is a lot different. Nakai's off somehow--her wiring isn't quite right. I'll leave it at that. When AJ came along--I've never tried so hard in my life to just grow up and be a good person, but it was too late. I never intended or even thought that I'd cause her this much pain. And that is something I will never forgive myself for. When it comes to hurting someone, it's never bothered me--I mean, if they felt nothing when hurting me, then why should I care about them, right?--but there's something about that little girl, and I don't know what it is, that tears me apart to see her being anything but happy.