fever pitch.

please, please, please

when/where/how

your most recent songs since the last show. I was afraid it would remind me of how out of control crazy I had been, and I'd had enough of feeling ashamed for a while. But I just smoked some weed (which I hardly ever do anymore) and listened to it again twice, right after the thunderstorm. I'm still high as fuck. But I had put out of my mind, probably intentionally, just how amazingly good it is. I hope that people appreciate it as much as I do. I'm sure they must.

Here's my dumb super-high stoner analysis/commentary: Really good music will either cause you to experience whatever emotion was put into it, or at least whatever emotion the creator is trying to express. It will also make any person who listens feel as though it were written just for or just about them. Here's a ridiculous and I'm sure, quite obvious confession: I like to pretend (I'm probably not alone; I'm sure several girls in our circle of friends feel this way) that it is a love letter. Hearing it makes me feel like I just got one, anyway.

I don't like being high and trying to write, because it sounds either childishly earnest or just hyperbolic and ridiculous. But it feels like you are reaching into me. Direct hit to the heart and root chakras. You hooked me, you can reel me in. Except I get the impression you'd rather have me come to you.

The music is an excellent surrogate for now--it makes me feel what I wish I could feel from you more often in person. But I would rather have you next to me. Can we go walk in the woods or have a picnic or something? Or just watch movies at your place? I'm not sure how to get away with it, but I would like to spend a whole day and night with you. I would have kept you warm in your tent. I mean that innocently, earnestly, and out of love and concern, no innuendo intended.

I hope this doesn't look completely ridiculous in the morning, because I'd rather not delete it