it's already yours
has always been yours

and I'd willingly, hungrily give it
if i only knew how to deliver it

i will keep it all inside and never touch you

even though i'm not sure there is anything else in the world i want more right now

i want you to kiss my neck
i want to feel the heat of your wet mouth on me
trite but true
i think i would just happily die if you ever kissed me
i bet you've never had a crazy older woman obsessively lust after you
i'm sorry it has to be this way

maybe if I could hang out with you freely, it wouldn't be like this

i miss you so, so much
where the hell are you
i just want to touch you (chastely, but more if i can get it)
you win, i gave in first
seriously. i need you
i don't care what anyone else thinks
i want to lie with my head in your lap
i want you to gently stroke my hair
i wish my hair were longer and I didn't keep compulsively cutting it off
i wish i could spend a night or two or three in your bed
i want to know where you are and what you are doing
i wish you missed me as much as i miss you
it just kills me to wait until shows to see you
i want to be able to text you out of the blue and hang out at your house and not have it be weird
i don't care what the circumstances are; i just need you in my life somehow

WHERE ARE YOU

"35 Advance

1 Advancing, conquering.
Good omen.
No captives taken.
Yet, no blame.
 
4 Advancing like a mouse.
Omen of danger.

5 Regret disappears.
What is lost will be found.
Fear not, it's favorable to go.
Nothing stands in the way.
 
6 The spearhead advances
To take a city.
Perilous but safe.
Blameless but pointless."

and the most obvious of defense mechanisms

bravura's a facade
I'm also a fraud

everyone, everything says "go," but I'm terrified
don't worry, you're safe from me