Sex complicates everything. I am terrified of it. I don't want to mess up what I already have. Please don't let this mess up everything that I have.

Went over to Jeff's house after work today, cause I missed him since I haven't seen him since Saturday morning. I wish I didn't have to leave. I have a doctors appointment sometime this week, which is good because I need to get this figured out before I leave for Florida next week. I'm exhausted, but hopefully I'll be wide awake for school tomorrow. I'm going to ask my mom if I could use the car on Tuesday night to go see Jeff again. Sarah has lacrosse so I know that she will say no at first, but maybe I can convince her to let me take it after 630 when I pick her up. I hope so at least. Like a 7 to 9:30 or 10 type thing. I hope so! Even if I can't I'll probably see him on Friday night because we are going to the club again. It'll be fun. And then I am staying at his house for the night most likely. It's nice being able to have somewhere to escape to, and even more, somebody to escape with.

Friday night I went out with Jeff and a bunch of his friends, we hit the carnival, Kimballs and then we all went to iHop :) He asked me to be his girlfriend too, which I of course said yes to. But I wouldn't kiss hime! He ate mayo on hash browns and I made him suffer ;] lol. I slept over his house friday night as well. We watched Finding Nemo and talked about everything that we could think of. Basically had sex over my clothes, so not really sex but it could have been lol. I've been completely stressed lately too. I am on the pill, and its amazing at regulating my periods. I got mine 3 weeks ago today, for 5 days. The only thing is that I got it again, 6 days later, and I have had it for 11 days now. That isn't supposed to happen. I am not supposed to bleed for more than half of a month. I really don't know what to do. I have to call the doctor, and I told my mom. I am just scared to know what the reason for it all is. Plus I have Prom on Saturday, and I leave for Florida next Tuesday. I can't have anything interfering with those. Having my period would be miserable for both of those. I'm just really scared because this kinda happened to my mom, in addition to her anemia, and she was told she can't have kids anymore, and that she needed a historectomy, because she was literally bleeding to death. I'm terrified that I could have to get one, and I am 18 years old. My entire lifes dream is to marry young and have children. Hopefully this doesn't happen, and my period just goes away by tomorrow. I'm going to see how today works out and also tomorrow, and then make the call.

Went out with Jeff last night, it was fun. I never got so excited about holding somebody's hand haha. I couldn't kiss him though, I got was too nervous haha. He is coming with me to the carnival on Friday night, which I hope will be really fun. He also asked me to go on vacation with him. I am probably going to go for a couple days as long as I have a way to get there. I'm excited.

Last night I had the best time. I literally would do it every night for the rest of my life. I went to a club in Boston, and it was awesome. Danced to a bunch of random guys, one tried to have sex with me....on the dance floor. I danced with Paolo and Jeff too. If I talk about somebody named Germany, I'm talking about Jeff. It was so much fun. He ended up asking me out later last night, and of course I said yes. He is a sweetheart. While we were at the club, some of their friends, Krista and Kristin, were there as well. Apparently Kristin always has a thing for Germany, and she tried to mess around with him. They were dancing together, and I got kinda annoyed, because I don't like her very much haha. But he ended up going into the lounge with her and Krista, and I went down stairs and pulled him up to dance with me. Then he wanted to go outside so I said I would with him and he held my hand as we went down again. It was weird haha. But I was definitely leading him on. When his hands were on my hips mine were on his, when they weren't on Rachel. I'm not sure how to tell Mike. I don't want him to be upset thinking he is going to get replaced. We will see I guess.

I have my AP test today, and I am going to try super hard on it. Hopefully I will get at least a 3 because then I would get college credit for next year, and not have to take so many classes for my first year. I am going out with Rachel and Jeff tonight, I believe Paolo is coming as well. And I am sure that Jordan will come too. It should be fun, I hope! Jeff texts me every day, and last night we go on a sex topic, which I tried to avoid but it was inevitable. Hopefully it won't be completely awkward today then. We haven't talked in person, he was always on the phone, or with his friends so we didn't talk. But it is to end today! We will talk!

Can't wait to see Mike.

Rest in Peace granda :[

HE IS COMING! :D i am so happy. This summer will be perfect. He will be perfect. All I can say is make sure there is room in his bed for me to stay over :)

WE FIND OUT IF MIKE GETS TO GO TO BOSTON FOR THE SUMMER, THIS MORNING :) I am sooooo excited. I am praying that it will happen. That something will actually go right for one summer. I am hoping. :)