lilyrightnow's Journal

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  • for the time being

    by lilyrightnow on August 03, 2012

    for the time being I thought I wouldn't have to think about anything, scared if i slow down, everything will catch up. but now I know you want to, want to slow down, want to let it catch up, i can see it in your not everyday normal eyes, and i can see it in vulnerable places, places i never let my head get to, never let my heart consider, because a lot of the time, i feel like i could be broken, i feel like i could be shattered and the only thing that remains keeping me together is willpower, and you know there's only so much of that. I'm sorry, my words keep running and my thoughts keep going and don't over think it, but you know, you know (I  know, I know) that this soundtrack is going to envlope me until i have my head against your chest and my arms around you and i start thinking, I start thinking just about us, I start thinking about how alive you are, I start thinking about how caring you are, i start thinking about how much i like you, i start thinking about how you hold me, how you don't have to let go to fall asleep, how we can be so innocent, how i can be so innocent, even though, i really don't want to admit to it.  how much i want to let my heart beat for you, how much i want to take that deep satisfied breathe that says i'm done running, done pretending i'm a step ahead of the game. because i'm not. I'm not. i like you. i could love you, someday, i could love you. 

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  • Forward March

    by lilyrightnow on July 27, 2012

    and you're closer than I thought, I keep picturing myself puting my hand on your chest, using them to melt the ice that surrounds your beating heart, using them to bring us closer together, use them to melt us together, melt the barriers, bury the space between us

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  • it goes on

    by lilyrightnow on May 30, 2012
    You lost me. You lost me among the lies and the metaphors and a simile. What would it be like? and you just kept going, kept painting pictures, like your life depended on it. like the dream would end if you stopped talking about it. like Martin Luther King and all those other liars. They only did what they could, only sold the truth, only twisted it around themselves, bending themselves out of shape and out of sorts to pass on a message. To contain themselves would have been blasphemy. So they rebelled with the only type of blasphemy they knew they could face. They came down on the public like a storm with orders to possess and be possessed. And it worked didn't it? it lit up your soul, it danced you out into the night, it carried you to me, and it goes on. it goes on. now you're back to painting pictures cause they said you can't write songs, and you're losing me (but it's okay. ) you were meant to lose me.
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  • forward

    by lilyrightnow on May 30, 2012
    You could call names with the best of em, run circles like you been here for years, spin lies on lines like wishing wells. You never got too far from home, never packed up and made off, destined to rule the world. And its just as well. The rest of us are sitting here like beggars who haven't haven't got time to change the world like we thought we would. Its just a way of life, a lie told just to get us to get up and move, get us off their backs, get us to stop asking questions. but we won't stop. we can't stop. we owe it. we owe it to ourselves. we owe it to you.
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  • a little bit james dean

    by lilyrightnow on October 09, 2011
    Every time they shove, you shove back a little harder, till they decide not to, and its too late when you turn around and Higher Authority is staring you down. It never was fair, they just learned all the tricks before you could think of them. They had people whispering in their ears, telling them how and when to fold so you'd get stuck looking like a fool. They do that don't they? The way they say they care or don't. Even when they care too damn much. They always string you up and leave you. The playground advisor even knows that the birds don't want you, so why would anyone else? We're fair-weather fowl, gone as soon as unity hasn't got your back. You wonder why they do that, why they leave so quick and you're the only one who thought that just maybe someone else would stick around and hang on to the telephone pole with you? Maybe you could ask someone. If there was anyone here.
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  • are you judging now?

    by lilyrightnow on September 15, 2011
    I believe in sunshine, I believe in rain. I believe in telling you how I feel, I believe in not letting you know. Too much to leave on my sleeve, and hell if I don't want it all in my head. You gotta know what I mean about leaving my soul there. There just ain't much left and you know it. You know I leave it there. When I'm here, there just ain't much left. I'm getting there, nowhere, as long as its somewhere, and I know you're sitting here disbelieving (like it matters to have your validation) and I know you got a scoff ready to roll off your lips right about now, but hell if I won't be there to catch it and shove it right back in. Throw it back at you, cause you laugh all to easily. Don't you wish you had an interesting life, too?
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  • honey i hope you can

    by lilyrightnow on June 16, 2011
    i been gone a long time, just now coming back to pick up the pieces of me that shatter periodically. With windstorms and rain, i'm gone faster than i can fall apart. Its all right, its just the wind that howls at night, its just the pain you feel when you get uptight. I don't have an idea in the world worth risking anything for, besides i don't got anything anyways. someone was remembering how they stole the start line and pushed us all through it, as painful and awful as anything you might remember, but hope like hell you'll forget (you always do). they were saying that was the day the world started, but i said "hell nah' you were on vacation that day, don't you remember?" as you and they both know i'm not fond of tall tale, fortune or bank tellers. for that matter i'm not fond of you either. wait here a minute. i got a storm to catch.
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  • (lemme get on my) rubber boots

    by lilyrightnow on October 04, 2010
    you sound so sad, oh baby i know what you mean so help me up from here i know we got things to say ever wonder why we aren't the ones on the movie screens? so we'll work on that fix your smile cause i got a smile for you so help me up cause we got things to do and a lot of time to waste set up the camera we got the world to frame and we're doing it today so help me up don't tell me you can't smile cause i gave you the world and i picked out frame so smile for me smile for me
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  • thanks

    by lilyrightnow on August 05, 2010
    i understand, to much, to much i'm sorry about things that you couldn't touch i'm sorry about the way the world spins i'm sorry i'm just a body for you i'm sorry i think way to irrationally i'm sorry about life and its turns i'm sorry i tried to love you i'm sorry you pulled back just as i was starting to let go i'm sorry this world is so far behind i'm sorry that the time was not ideal if i had met you, at any other point in my life things could have been special they could have been great and if you could let go for a bit and not be so in control maybe i could have made it in your icy, scared heart and maybe, we could have made it warm maybe we could have been warm so now i'll just wait here in the dark for some lost traveler who needs some light i'm not to bright but i got what it takes and i'm sorry you didn't see it but now i'm only consoling myself.
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  • night time numba one

    by lilyrightnow on July 29, 2010
    a long time ago we used to be friends i've got a lot to think about and not much to say i don't want you honey but i need you to stay i can't understand the things that i say but you should beleive me anyways i can't say anything without someone new boarding this thought train oh i'm sorry if i offended you but really could you not be so obtuse? its not my fault you choose to fall and beleive all the bullshit i tell you but suddenly you change and you aren't yourself anymore and you're stronger and you don't bend with what i say and you don't try in the same way they did and i like the way you don't bend is it okay if i admire the way you make the world seem okay? maybe its the melody or the words or the rythme but you fix it and make me feel okay to be a bit naive it seems so simple and justifiable when i never know wether the world will fall apart or not and you seem to know the better things about life and the gentle secrets that i wish i could hide beneath my skin that i wish were my pleasure to keep i don't know i'm not sure my mind... is not there is it silly? to want the world to be okay? is it silly? to want to smile and laugh? is it silly? when everyone is scared as hell is it silly? to think we're important at all? is it silly? to be an optimist in a realistic world? is it silly? not if you wanna take things little less seriously is it silly? we got time, lets use it.
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