less than two weeks ago, i got the sad news that my best friend's girlfriend had dumped her. i spent much time over the days that followed trying to console my friend, just like i had once before in a similar situation. less than a week later, something magical happened. my best friend, whom i am in love with, slept over at my house and kissed me for the first time in over seven months. it could not have been a better moment. i love her, and now my life feels complete.

thats right, chris. she loves you. it was not even a competition, seeing as i never even had a chance with ali. she is the most perfect girl in the world to me, and you find her "meh." i love everything about her, from the briefs to the random noises she makes upon being bored. This girl is my life, and for the one month that we were, for the mostpart, together, I had been the happiest girl...ever. i dont know why it ended. i dont know why it begun. but it was the best feeling i have ever felt, and i am sure that i will never feel anything like that again. so go ahead, chris. just take her. all you want is to get in her pants, and if shes gonna let you, then so be it . ARG

Alright, first FA, then NC, then nowhere at all? chris, hunny, you need to move. like, PRONTO. i'm really glad you make her happy and all, but she is mine. and when is the last time you got to see her? Three weeks ago, maybe more?? I have hung out with her almost every single day during the past few weeks...how does that make you feel? And you should know, she went behind your back and we had a sleepover together. SUCK ON THAT CHRIS. btw, i really wish all that i just said could make everything feel better, but really, you are the one who is winning. By having her, you have the one thing in this world that i really want, and will not ever have.

Your life and mine are pure irony. i cannot believe we were fighting about something that so genuinely would have upset me about five months ago, but had no reason to yesterday. i love you, and i truely believe we will be friends forever. now if only chris would get out of the picture and move already....

happy fake

Last week I worked up every ounce of courage I had left, and told her that I still, after all this time, like her. I could not actually admit to her that I do not like her, rather, that I am in love with her. I thought things would be different, because she gave me hope and made it seem like maybe she liked me as well. But that was not the case. Instead, she came to me for advice about her new girlfriend. I was more than willing to give her my best possible advice, and I have been putting on a fake smile for her ever since. I really wanted to get to the point where I would be able to tell her that I love her without ruining our friendship, but now I have to deal with this curve ball of sorts. Chances are, she will never know my true feelings. No one will.

words can't describe how much i love her. doesn't unrequited love suck bananas? lol

for riz. i hate being stuck here.... byeyahhs

for one thing, i am a total lesbo. i guess a few friends know that i am into chicks, but none of them know that i am, for the most part, full blown. they probably never will. i said yes to getting coffee sometime with a guy friend of mine today, and i am afraid he is going to think its a date. he is really super nice but obviously i dont swing that way. another confession of mine is that i told A that i would try to stop making myself throw up. HA. that lasted for less than a week. i even tried giving it up for lent and i gave in after a few days. i reaaaally want to stop but i dont know how. i was good for about a week and yesterday i relapsed again. oh and one more thing. it's not really a confession but it just happened so im gonna write it. a girl that sits in front of me just said she wants to lick my bajingo. im very startled.

overall, this is starting out as a good day. probably because i met a mexican XD