I went to the beach with Carolina yesterday. It was a lot of fun.

Ariyan, that's how you spell his name, asked me for my number the day before yesterday. It was kinda awkward 'cause he just came up to me and was like, "Hey :)" and his fingers were shaking when he was typing in my name. It was so cute. I'm not sure how I feel about him, though. Like, we've been talking ever since that day but.. he's not my type. He has super long and thick eyelashes. Ha I just noticed that today in the bus to the metro. In which we sat together 'cause there were, like, no more seats left. But it was one of those good accidents. We listened to Bloc Party from my iPod at first but then we switched to his iPod and listened to Two Door Cinema Club. Then at the metro station, I saw Juan there and got super annoyed 'cause he was flirting with every girl he could get a hold of. And so, score, sat next to me on the metro. I wanted Danny to sit next to me :/ I had to go to the library and finish some Cooling work but, when I saved it, it got fucked up for some strange reason. Meaning I entirely and completely wasted my time 1) Missed chemistry 2) Did not do my assignment We had to do an essay in Navaro's class, which he's counting for the final exam. I'd better study, like, tons for the multiple choice. I hope I get an A so then my grade stays a B regardless of my poor performance on the midterm. My dad has like messed up his tendon :( so he's been doing easy labor lately. We played Pokeno yesterday and I got 2/3 times! Whoot. The trick is in choosing the correct board. I just watched the Flight of the Red Balloon and Like Water for Chocolate. Spring Break = Sleep = Happiness = Good Grades lol I'm just kidding about the good grades part haha.

Ok, that was stupid. I can't be vegan. Too many products have weird, unrecognizable ingredients in them. The times I made bread, I made it with milk. And so I asked myself how in the world I was going to give up bread. Did some research, and found that Wonderbread is vegan. But I don't like Wonder, it doesn't feel healthy and nutty. Haha, really. And if you go to iHop, you can't eat pancakes or omelettes. But milk grosses me out anyway, so that's out of my diet. For now, I'll make some effort but I'll still be just vegetarian. Sometimes I wonder if I'm vegetarian entirely. Who knows where the "natural flavors" in the ingredients of a product come from? And that's what I mean.

I am a vegan from this day on.

We watched Food Inc. in art class on Friday. I was done watching that movie and felt so empowered to tell everyone what they're doing is wrong and that they have to stop. But I'm me and I'm one and there's too many people for me. I felt so weak, too. I felt lied to. If I wanted to change, I had to start somewhere. I showed it to my mom and told her, "Mom. This is important to me. I want you to take it seriously because it's important in general." But she had her eyes half-way there half-way through the movie. She kept on telling me that it was important to her because it was important to me and she kept on telling me, "It's interesting!" But, fuck, I knew she didn't understand. It wasn't gonna change anything and this is supposed to be the person who understands me so well. And she does. But.. I mean, she doesn't get it. She's in the living room doing who knows what and not even thinking about everything. I want to do something about it but I'm a teenager, I'm one person, I'm a student, I don't do the grocery shopping. Even though I'm a vegetarian, what does it do? I mean, I'm drinking the milk and I'm eating the eggs that come from the animals that are then slaughtered. If I eat organic yogurt, it still has weird shit in it like organic bean gum. And no matter what, you'll end up next to synthetic food most of the time. These companies write organic on their products and how the hell does one know they mean it? When you see an orange juice gallon and it says orange juice under the ingredients, great, it's orange juice. But who knows how the oranges were grown? I wanted to have a vegetable garden in my backyard but it's really hard to keep it from pests. I researched how to avoid pests and I got two choices: Organic pesticides or inspecting them every morning. Organic means bullshit to me and inspecting them every morning is, like, not happening. I have absolutely no time in the morning. "Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die, and instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that time goes fast and it's hard to make the good things last"

This morning, I found my lipbalm with a curiosity note inside. I opened it, excited, thrilled, to find a drawn cat drinking curiosirty juice inside. He was dead. I loved that but I was creeped out. Then I knew more, I was being curious when I took that damn paper. But I had to.  This person was following my footsteps, whoever it was.  I was telling Leah about it during lunch and Carmen heard and told me who it was.  Bryce!  :) 

I'm a little angry at Carolyn for making me kinda believe all these ideas about numbers were genuine. They're not, and most of them were dragged from radiolab. :& I'm definitely glad she told me, though. I love this site.

Radiolab: Numbers create order in your life I could lose the numbers. I could survive my whole life without them That's just completely ridiculous Ok, Test me Uhm, suppose you wanna call me but you forgot my phone number Two words: Speed. Dial. How many words?? haha, hilarious!

Today was strand/selection day at DASH. We had a tour during B6 and so Navarro didn't collect the masks. Navarro gave us green papers in which we were to jot down notes and we were going to get picked depending on how good our notes were. Then we were out of the room and on our way. Film. The room was great, real cozy and dark inside. I liked it. I got a really good vibe from the beginning and the teacher was pretty cool. He talked about each year and then we got to ask questions to some film kids that were there. Architecture. It was mostly the kids talking but the teacher talked too. They kept on saying, "It's not boring. We have fun here, guys!" Ha. The teacher wasn't that boring but he did seem kinda like a pushover. Industrial. Most people switched over to this strand 'cause everyone talking was super passionate about their thing. It seemed cool and, yeah, me too, I moved it up to my 3rd choice. They do a lot of perspective and.. Fashion. I got a bad vibe the moment I walked in. All the kids talking seemed like they were all sewn together to be up there talking as a team. You could see the backstabbing and gossipping that went on. "Drawing is very important in this strand, as well as being realistic about your design." Gaphics! I walked in and all the lights were out except for the projector. There was a lack of chairs, so Leah and Andrea had to stand. The teachers and the students seemed to have, like, this personal relationship. As if they all went for coffee afterschool together. I liked that. "This strand is not easy as people say it is. That's a myth." At the end, we had toput our choices in order. Me: 1. Graphics. 2. Fashion. 3. Industrial. 4. Film 5. Architecture. I don't know what I'd do if I don't get into graphics.

Today was a pretty cool day. I felt weird, though. There was this aftertaste in my mouth, the kind you feel after taking meds. I wore makeup today and my mom's new earrings. Arion still doesn't look at me in math. I was working on my mask during lunch. Then in PE it was walking and then activity of choice. I talked to Raul while we walked and then we got the ping pong -lol- table out and started playing but then Mario took over. "I wasn't concentrating".."Fuck, this wind!".."Wait, let me work my special serve".."It touched my finger! That's bullshit".. Reminded me of me a little. Then I had art and he looked at my homework, didn't like it, and then moved on to showing off our posters. Some kids got C's when it really looked like B work. But I know what she was doing. If it had too much orange.. bad. Too patriotic.. meh. Too much glutter.. eek. She really liked paintings, though. Paintings. These were posters, not paintings. I mean, they were pretty, but they missed the whole point. There was a really nice one of a bill and then it had a pyramid and then there was an eye through it. I liked that one. For the rest of the period, we played around with tissue paper. I made some poppies by cutting out circles and gluing them on top of each other so that the circles overlap and it looks great. I think overlapping is beautiful. Two things I want to say. 1. I killed a mosquito yesterday. I didn't kill it 'cause it was going to be fun. I killed it 'cause it could've hurt me or my parents or even Chamo and Perla. It was huge and yellow-lookin' with super long legs. When it was too late, I figured I wasn't supposed to be doing that. I looked up if insects feel pain. They don't. I felt a little better then, but I knew it still wasn't right. It's not about them feeling pain or not, it's about me taking something no one gave me the right to take. I took that mosquito's life because I could. But, really, that's so wrong. Just because I can reach out and kill it, doesn't make it okay to do so. I'm not sure, but I think they call that.. responsibility? "With more freedom comes more responsibility" 2. Laura and William are most likely going out. I hear he walks her to class. And, yes, I'm jealous. I don't want to date him again or anything, but it's not fair that it might work out between them and it didn't for us. It's not fair that she's my friend and she's dating my ex. Friends.. don't do that. And I always thought it was stupid when people said that and it is but it's a little true. Because she doesn't talk to me about them and because it feels like we're against each other or something. Maybe it's just me. But, out of all people in the school -and in the world-, why William?