currently playing: strib nicht vor mir by Rammstein and in the end we're all just specks. insignificant, and infinately finite. we are born, we live for a split second, and then we die. our lives are over before they have even begun. someday i am going to die. maybe tomorrow. maybe even today. after all, its only almost ten. i am not yet sixteen. my life has hardly even begun. how curious to think that at any given time it might end. until then, we are living in a blissul oblivion, waiting to live, wating to die. waiting for something- anything- to make life worth living. for we all need a reason to wake up in the morning, lest we'll sleep away our days until we may sleep forever in the darkest abyss that is death. and in the end we're all just specks.

Currently playing: Bad Day by Fuel Life is such a tedious thing. And oh so insignificant. Take into consideration the stars. thousands upon thousands of tiny specks, seemingly so unimportant. yet those stars have been there for years, maybe eternity (though of course there is the ever-present question of what eternity even is...). we see those same stars everyday, and hardly give them a second glance. but when i have died and there is nothing here to remember me by (for i am quite certain i shall fade away and be forgotten) those very stars will still shine. perhaps they shine for me, and the others like me who pause to admire their everlasting beauty, mystery, intrigue. perhaps they shine simply because that is all they know how to do. i would like to think that there is a chance for everyone to shine like the stars. life has been kinder to me than some. why is it that we cannot find happiness? i believe that happiness is unnatainable. there is no such thing. for happiness to me is different than the next person. and we only want what we want until its ours (Train- Calling All Angels). But i believe that all we can do is make the best of what we have. happiness is a choice. everyone wins and loses and hurts and loves and laughs and cries and dies. such is life. death is life. life is death. makes you wonder.