so everytime i go to this place, there's this one dude who's always there. i just saw him hiding behind some shelves and i just happened to glance his direction and that freakin creepo was staring at me! for how long i don't effin know. ughh. he's freakin scary!! he keeps looking at me!!! every single time i come there!! HE'S A PEDOPHILE!!!!!!! ugh wth? i just saw him looking at me right now. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... i hope he doesn't think i'm looking cause i'm interested. i really want him to stop looking. call the police!

4th period. turn of events. update later uhhh... vvvvvvvvvvvv

yo, i don't even know about kitty. maybe if i talk to him.... maybe. i don't like anyone right now. it's weird, i've always liked someone, even just a weeeee bit. i haven't been like this since elementary i guess? haha oh, HE tried kissing my hand today. but it's all good, i know it's all jokes. i'm glad we're talking again though(: i just yanked it away and he said "i love you". now, i would usually scream and go gaga over this occurrence, but i didn't. so i guess this means i just like him as a friend now. so yea, i can't wait for our friendship to finally be one. A FRIENDSHIP. because i think we both tried to idk.. we wanted to be friends but we prolly had other thoughts. so yupp. i'd like him as a friend though, & i think it'd be perfect. he's kinda strange, but i like it. i'm saying this only as friends. i hope things don't go back to they were before. talk and then ignore each other. then talk again. because then that's not friendship now is it? today has been a very good day.and no, not just because of what happened. but it did kind of have me smiling during 5th period. it's been good nonetheless

i write according to my mood. uhhh.. but you don't care. so maybe i'm feeling good one day and maybe i'm exploring my mind. i'm tryna get out of the habit of judging myself. then that means i can't really be myself right? if i don't let myself out, then i don't know who i am. and if i want to really know who i am, then i have to let the real me show. but there's been too much pretending that i lost track of me. maybe it's lost in the smiles that i always have. sometimes i wonder whether i'm really smiling. maybe i'm used to having my face that way. i like to smile though, it makes me feel happy. but is it fake? because i don't know. i like to smile, but i don't know if it's real. i like being the kind of girl that gets along with everyone. unless i feel intimidated, then i'm usually quiet. i love it when people say i'm funny. because maybe that's what i aim for, and that makes me smile. am i superficial? el muchacho la muchacha ok, forreal this time. BUENAS NOCHES! no accent mark

I'm just watching my little doggy lick her paws. She keeps biting herself, wth? Are dogs really colorblind? I'm just wondering. 2nd period was my happy period. I kept smiling because I saw him, and I saw him look at me, but I didn't look back. This is about kitty btw. I was laughing so much because of how much I was smiling. It was very amusing. I was happy. I should get to know him.. And I'm going to.. cause my friend's gonna hook me up! Hahah jk. But when Confirmation starts maybe. I'd like to be talk to him again though. *not kitty I miss talking to him. I miss being the one he trusted. I wonder if he trusts her? Or if it's all an act... Whatever, I'm just whatever. But it makes me sad to see something so good just coil into bits and pieces. So.... maybe it can unwrap and go the distance the next time? (: IN MY DREAMS. i should take a shower. good night

i really don't want the pressure of education.. i know you may think i'm crazy.. that education is what i'm going to need in life to be successful. really? i might get a job, make average income, maybe more. but i just want to be happy. if i'm not happy like that, what's the education i've got put to use for? i'm happy that i even DO have an education, but i'm just contemplatin why i revolve my decisions on it. there's more to life, you know? not education wise, but schoolwise. there's a difference. i hate how i have to focus on school. actually, it's all my decision, but i'm not quite happy with it. i just wish i were different. i want to start living. right now. so badly. it's just too hard when you have something, but you think the other way leads to something better. you never know though. there's too much in life. i honestly don't want to be spending time in school for like what, 16+ years? i can be out seeing the world. right after high school, i want to travel. but i'm worried because maybe it's not the best decision to make. but i'll never know. i wan to go to uni right after. maybe i'm just worried i won't be on the same pace as everyone else. it shouldn't matter, but it does. i'm terribly afraid. i can't trust myself. very pathetic, but i'm a pathetic person. i wish i were a butterfly.... maybe a ladybug, or an ant. so i can view the world from down there.

are yummy.

"push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us"


FREAKIN AP WORLD. hate it









i





love
my lover

where do i go from here? haha jk. i hate AP class. i have a D right now. i have to reread my chapter, plus 3 more assignments due monday. not to mention extra credit due friday. OHH and my F in math. plus me catching up with late work and everything. i was on the phone for like 2 hours though. haha. what a waste of time. ughh dude! i keep gettin new information each day! seriously, it's like i can't even take them seriously. but just watch.... i'm tricking myself and i'll be left there feeling confused.. again. confusing stuff. anyways, football on friday was good. after half-time sucked though. did i mention i had to use the bathroom 3 times during the game? got food with andrea before the game (pearl drink!

kiss ma esssss.. today was good i guess.. okay.. it started feeling a little down. but not anymore. i don't even know what i feel in this situation. whatever happens. i just had nutella. mmmmmm...

well....... i have to finish my essay by tmrw. had my Confirmation interview today. it was a good day! idk... things were good i THINK i might like someone new! i know, it's hecka fast. but idk. i just wanna get to know this person and we'll see what happens(: hehehe this is weird. shouldn't i be crying my eyes out? lol haha i don't care anymore. we can be friends or we can't. right now, it doesn't really matter to me. i'm just in my little bubble right now. JESUS CHRIST