im so confused. i kinda like one guy and i kinda like another. im friends with both of them,and i think theres a better chance with guy1 but guy2 leads me on sometimes but i doubt he likes me. every guy i talk to ,,,well not every guy but the 2 guys then 2 guys in a grade older than me i always think about hooking up with. i really want to kiss somoone again. after u do it then dont it sucks. maybe im just a slut, i dont care i NEED TO MAKE OUT

i broke 30 tonight in my 50 free! twice! one individually and once in relay. 29.82!!! whoo!

dont like school

done with my 2 weeks of doubles.1st real meet thursday. school starts soon.oh jeez.

sorry havent posted in a while! sooo busy! as you can see ive deleted some posts...i want a fresh start. summers been so great..i guess. i went to the beach and to visit fam. last monday i started USA swim again. new season. new school year. in so much pain. physically. reverse pause curl ups are not fun. so all i can write..gotta take a nap.

i had the most AMAZING dream last night! i was at Seabreeze, and i was older.18 maybee? with some friends...and i met this guy there. I'm not sure but maybe he had something to do with one of my friends? well anyways me and this guy started talking, and he was CUTE! and i started to like him, he seemed like he was starting to like me. i told him my name he told me his. i couldnt tell you what it was; i don't remember. but all i know is that this guy was very good looking (: dark brown kinda curly hair, dark eyes, tall

OMGOMGOMG!!! I had a swim meet today and it was amazing! i got first in my 50 Breaststroke and my 100 IM!!!!! i was soooo pumpeddddddd!!! i did fly too but i got 3rd...o wellll but anyways i was reallyyy happy. whooo.

its better if we're just best friends. like brother and sister, the way it's always been. well, he said so himself. so we're not going out anymore. o well, it lasted so short it couldnt hurt me at all. awesome. well i almost got rushed to the ER today. scary shit there. well im tired.

best dayy! in shock. best friend that i secretly liked asked me outt. !

swimming starts tomorow. just club swimming. recreational, nothing fun. USA swimming was betterrr. no tht sucked. idk, varsity is the bestest. ok whtev ttyl i guess this is wierd its a jounal so i wont ttyl ill post later WHATEVER goodnight