All guys are assholes. They only want one thing, and when they've got that, they've won.

So.. no more cellular. :[ No job = no money = taking money out of savings to pay for my phone = pissed of daddy = cancelled account Damn. But I'll live. It snowed last night.. but a lot melted today. It's almost APRIL!! WHY is there snow?? And like.. 4 inches?? :[ Why.. Anyways.. I've been thinking a lot lately. About me and Cory. Like.. We've only been officially together for almost a week.. but it seems like way longer. Cuz we were kinda together.. unoffically.. and secretly.. but anyways.. I'm starting to really fall for him. But I'm scared that what everyone is saying is true. That he only wants sex.. or whatever. Stuff related to that. And I'm trying to trust him. Really I am. But it's hard when everyone keeps telling me stuff like "Be careful" and I keep remembering Ron's speech. Gah.. When I'm with him I don't think about it.. but when I'm alone. Well.. that's a different story. I think I just think too much. Bleh.. Oh and Matt asked Moriah out :D She seems happy.. so I am too. I hope she gets her first kiss soon.. So she can quit buggin me bahaha :] Just kiddin. I love that girlie. She's mine. Not Matt's.. *insert maniacal laughter here* Peace.

Cory won his fight!! I'm sooo happy for him. He got the guy in a chokehold and he tapped out.. in 30 seconds!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD I just wish i could have been there.. sigh.. but im broke. I dont have an extra 20$ lying around. Bah.. I have no idea why its so expensive. Pissin' me off.. Bahaha quote from Unforgivables right there.. sigh.. i miss those days. Oh well. I have Cory. :D Peace.

Web design rocks my socks. Moriah's site is going to be BA. I'm making brownies and cookies tonight. With Cory :D And yes, we are JUST baking. Bahaha.. I might get to meet Abby Brown. Finally. Geezes Caleb.. My stained glass project is almost done. YAY. At last.. no more glass to be embeded in my hands for a whole freaking WEEKEND. Grr. But next is glass etching.. bleh. I just lost the game.. bahaha :D Peace.

Oh boy.. So.. Me and Cory are dating.. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Yeah. Its THAT amazing bahaha.. :] We went on a walk today. Just to talk and I had to iron some things out.. Apparently he had texted Chris saying he wanted a blow job and whatever. But she told Kirstie and Kirstie went all apeshit on me. She was like "Have you talked to him?" "Are you gonna talk to him?" "When are you gonna talk to him?" and he wasnt even at school today he was having bloodwork done at the hospital for the fight on friday. Anyway.. finally I was just like, "Kirstie! He's not here and I'm gonna talk to him after he's done with practice!" I wanted to just be like CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Geez. Anywho. We talked about it. It was his 11 year old cousin who was down for his spring break. His cousin has chris's number and they talk all the time.. So apparently he took cory's phone and texted her a bunch of shit. His cousin hates cory cuz cory rated out his cousin and his uncle for stealing his grandpas pain meds. So.. this is how it went.. Me: What's on your mind? Him: Nothing at all. Him: What's on your mind? Me: Ooohh... just thinkin' Him: What about? Me: Mostly you. Him: Mostly? What else? Me: Oh.. just.. thinkin.. Him: What about?? Me: Oh.. a question.. That someone should ask me. Him: *pause* I'm afraid of what the answer will be. Me: Oh, I think you'll like the answer. Him: *pause* Ok.. Will you go out with me? Me: Yes. YAY!!! lol I'm super happy :] bahaha.. So. Thats that. :] Peace

Wowzers. Life is amazing.. For a few reasons..: 1. Me and Cory are doing good.. I think im gonna start tutoring(ish) in math. so that will be fun haha :] 2. The dance was AMAZING! Still thinking about it :D 3. The play was pretty fun.. I sat next to cory and he held my hand :] he almost watched me more than the play haha 4. I went shopping in DM with audrey yesterday after church and we found a GORGEOUS prom dress for her. Its white and gold and strapless. From younkers.. for 130. 5. Audrey did my nails last night with an acrylic set she got at walmart.. and for being her guinea pig and it being her first time.. their not too bad :] 6. It was gorgeous out today.. i tanned for like an hour. But then it got a bit chilly haha. But i think its supposed to get up to like 75 tommorow or sometime this week! :D 7. Track started today.. :] Hopefully this season will be better than last year.. haha.. But im manager so its all good. 8. My back is sooo much better!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDD I'm superpsyched.. maybe i can go back to work soon :] yay.. im so sick of being broke haha. All in all.. amazing. :] Peace.

Happy story: 1. Kirstie likes another guy.. and may end up dating him soon!! Omg yay. This would mean that me and cory can be together. Even if my dad thinks his family obtains money illegally {{douchebag}} or if my mom wants me to wait a few weeks.. or if people lable me as a slut like they did abby and chelsy for dating more than one guy. Even though ive only dated three {{now four.. :DDD}} guys. Even with all of that, I still want to be with him. Because.. yeah, I know I'm single but he's the only guy im interested in. Really.. I mean, I could be having "things" with like a bunch of different guys. But im not.. only him. So whats the difference? And Cory is cool.. he doesn't mind if i have other guy friends. And he's not going to be clingy either. Like always wanting to spend time with me. He understands that time apart is ok.. Like not hanging out every night.. like me and colton did.. haha. The only thing about Kirstie's new love interest is that.. hes not single. And when they were talking the other night about hooking up.. she was talking to his girlfriend. Oh boy.. but Chelsy doesnt even go to this school so its all good. I think.. 2. I got to dance with Cory last night.. like 4 times. :DDDD And Becky had fun too I think.. she danced with Winston, Nathan C, Logan, Mason, and I think another person.. but I'm not sure.. lol it was fun. We taught her the apache and she was doing her "winterfest dance" haha. But we all had fun. Dancing with Cory was.. amazing. He held me so close and so tight.. And as we were dancing he kissed my arm. :] it was soo sweet. 3. After the dance I was texting him and he was at connors, apparently talking to tate.. Cory: Tate wants to know if you are mine. Me: Lol what did you tell him? Cory: I told him I would ask you cuz idk Me: Well you can tell him whatever you want he asked you lol Cory: Ok lol Me: So what did you tell him? lol Cory: I said yes Me: Oh ok then :) Cory: Is that ok cuz i can tell him no if you want Me: No i dont care. but i have a question for you. are we? Cory: Well.. what do you want? Me: I dont know. Actually I do know. I want everyone to just be ok with what I choose. And i want you to be mine. C: Well.. we can be but no one has to know. Me: sure. its kinda alreadly like that lol :) so i dont mind. but.. i dunno i still dont want to hurt you C: You cant hurt me anymore that anyone else has already Me: :( i hope not. but thats really the only thing that worries me a lot lol C: and i hight doubt you will Me: I dont want to. at all. but my other relationships have ended badly and i dont want that to happen to us But pretty much.. were dating. Secretly. So.. i dunno how this is going to go haha. But we both want it to work out. So i think it will. Peace.

Replay of recent events: Yesterday.. 1. Went to Des Moines with Cory and his g'ma to get that damn pink tux. But it looks really good. We had an early out so I got to spend all afternoon with him and all night because.. 2. After we got back, they invited me to watch Role Models with them and my parental units said "'Til nine." So we watched a movie together. And it was amazing.. 3. We talked afterwards.. He said {{on the subject of dating me}} "I think I'm going to ask Kirstie if it's ok with her." OMG.. :DDDDD But there's still complications.. I'll explain in a bit. Today: 1. Got my friggin epideral. OMG it was SUPERpainful. They put local anisthetic in but I don't really think it worked.. I could feel the needle the whole time. And then when they injected the steroids it felt as if someone were inside my back pushing on my spine, trying to break it. Afterwards I couldn't stop crying. It was the worst. Plus it was a shot in my friggin asscrack. So you can guess how lovely THAT was. 2. I talked to my parents about dating Cory on the way home. The basic two points of the convo were these: a. Dad thinks that "it's impossible for them to live off of only a welder's salery" with the way their lifestyle is. I explained to him like 20 times that I wasn't even sure what their whole financial situation is. But he wouldn't listen. It was really dumb. So basically he thinks that their involved in some illegal activity where they get their money.. even though I said like 10 times that their grandparents are friggin MILLIONAIRES. Grr.. what a royal douchebag. b. Mom wants me to wait "a while" before I decide whether or not to date him. When I asked how long a while was she was like "Two weeks is a while." So 2 weeks. And dad agreed. Actually, they both would have preferred never. But whatever. I'm kinda pissed at them both right now. 3. Me and Dad drove down to Missouri to look for houses for sale and just drive around.. I think he was trying to make me feel better about the epideral. Anyway.. I really really really want to live in MO cuz if we do, then I can apply to go to the Missouri Academy at Northwest Missouri State. I mean, I could anyways but if I live in MO it's free!! For a whole year of college level tuition. Or two.. but I think it's too late for me to apply for my junior year. So I have to wait til I'm at least a Senior. But it would be soo cool.. :D It really ticks me off that dad is always complaining about the way we do dishes when he never does them himself. Like two days ago he wanted to make rice crispy treats but the pan was dirty. So he's like "Well I guess I'll just have to wait for it to get clean" like he wouldn't do it himself. Omg.. that just ticks me off. If you don't like the way something is done, do it yourself. He's so friggin lazy. Ok, random rant over. Peace.

Ok.. so kirstie is claiming that she's not making me choose.. but this is what she said to me: ok rosemary...this is it...u dont seem to understand at all...and so im gonna lay it all out for ya. u hanging out with cory all the time...going to his house, looking at dresses...stuff like that pisses the hell out of me...im not just a little upset about it...it ticks me off...and im sick of pretending it dosnt. u told me u didnt know how i felt because u have never been through this...well then i will tell u how it feels....IT FEELS LIKE SHIT! how do u think im suposed to react when my best friend is freaking attached to the hip of my ex bf since the day after we broke up? u are always with him...and ppl tell me about it...so if ur trying to hide stuff just stop cuz it gets around to me. ur always talking about him...and sometimes its even when im in the room...and i can hear u. how do u think it feels when i see u to together....walking around everwhere (but ur just friends) if u too arnt going out because u dont wanna make me mad save it...u guys are practly going out already so u might as well make it offical. this whole thing is bull shit...i shouldnt have to worry about my friend stabing me in the back and going after my ex....espicaly cory and u know y. i told u all kinds of stuff about him...and u do this to me...thanks alot. yes i know u cant controll your feelings but u can controll who u spend all ur time with...and i would think that spending time with ur friends ex is only asking for trouble. u have caused so much shit for me and yourself...cuz i am not the only one whis is sick of your shit. we have been in a lot of fights...but this has gone too far. this is one of thoes things that u just dont do. as long as u are hanging out with cory as much as u are now...i dont really wanna be around you...because he lied to me...and screwed me over...and i dont wanna be around him...and u hanging out with him has affected our relationship weather u want it too or not. i hate fighting with ppl...i cant stay mad at them for very long...cuz well i just dont....but i dont think i can trust you any more....i dont want a friend that is going to do this to me...cuz all it does is make me go insane everytime i go home....and im sick of that...im sick of not being able to sleep with out seeing u and cory all the time....im done with it. i cant care about this any more. so go ahead and do what you wanna do....but for a while....i dont think i can be around u....i cant deal with this now....im still trying to get over him...and being around u just makes it worse. i hope this makes u understand a little bit better. Which is basically saying that if I still want Kirstie as a friend I can't hang out with Cory. Dumb! It's ridiculous.. But whatever. And I think Tacy is gonna go out with Brett.. Hmm.. Interesting. Peace.

so.. todays sunday. yippee. i feel mature all of the sudden.. i dont know why.. but i looked up at my first entry about ryan and i was like.. wow. RIDICULOUS. i think i change a lot daily now.. right now im so mellow. haha. cory invited me over :] to watch tv haha. until 4:30 when i have youth group. at the christiansons. oh that will be fun driving on their level b road. and now im gonna go ask daddy dearest if i can depart to movie-land at a certain lovely boy's house :D oh joy, permission is granted. ta. Peace.