Is today or never. I think after talking too drea I know what I want too do. She always has a way of counceling me even when she dosent try. I think its finally over. I need to end it with him he dosent do much good for me. I can't be in an unstable relationship with someone. I can't be with someone who I know does nothing but hurt me. So I guess its really over. I'm going to move on! No more D.S. In my life. Of course my other problem still resides on me like a blood sucking leech. Alex is always a daily problem for me. He's like something I can't get rid of (like aids) but something I want to keep (like a sword from a great great samuri grandfather). I truly do love that boy no matter how much he kills me inside. But anyway I know that today is decision day and I know my final dècision which will be...

Is what I shoudve told him. I'm stupid enough to take him back. But that's okay his next few hours are going to be hell when he tries to call me or text me I hate it for him. I guess I can't treat him bad because he reminds so much of alex (except alex is sexier). Their personalities are so similar that it sickens me. I hate it because I don't need another alex in my life. Uhh! I hate this ...

Is a legendary tale of misery and woe. I don't even feel comfortable in my life. I always have relationship trouble and its because I always date complete jerks. I can't believe the guy I wanted to date who supposly loved me would hurt me like that. He had the nerve too suggest a girls pussy can turn me straight when he knows how sensitive I am about my sexuality. He knows I'm full gay and for him to even say that too me makes me feel like crap. I thought that at least the guy I like would feel something for me. Society makes me suffer enough and now my own lover. To make mayers worst my favorite cousin tells me I'm gay people go too hell. The only reason why he didn't say it in those exact words is because I'm his cousin. I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt by people. I think people hate homosexuals because we differniate the world. But whatever I know that one of the only people I feel comfortable with is yesmine and drea. Those are truly some of the best pepole I've ever met. Plus my friend gigi helps me a lot too she actually helped me tonight I thank her for that. Anyway ttyl. Comments? Email me Nintenboy@alltel.blackberry.com voice your opinipn!

Is what I've been feeling. I broke up my future relationship with a guy who I thought liked me. He still claims he likes me but how can that be if he wants too be straight. Someone like him can't be a jerk to me. But on the other hand he's just like alex. I almost see no difference between the two. I honestly think they mihgt be distant cousins. To make it worst the guy tells me that he can't be straight because of me. For one thing I can't and won't be responsible for holding somebody back from being what they want to be. That's not me I'm not that type of person but personally my heart feels like he would be better of straight anyway. But I guess its not over... Yet

Just a whole bunch of other things. I'm just so confused and pissed off. Alex makes me feel empty like I have no soul. I feel heartless like the life has been ripted out of me.my life is...

I love ur entry I agree with a lot of what u said but hearing the crowd annoys me. You seem preety cool though. When singers mess up I love it too because it says that they're not perfect. So anyway stay cool

Is what I've been lately. I have to act like my life is perfect but the truth is I'm in a crisis. The whole alex thing is killing me tearing me apart. I don't even feel like myself I feel like I can't even get close to anyone. I'm even having trouble writing which is a first for me. My life is writing and now its like everything is changing. It confuses me so much how my life can be sometimes. Alex is the only reason why I didn't commit suicide aFew months ago. He told me don't do it I need you. If he's not here then what resaon do I have too live. I guess for drea god and myself. Those reasons are a lot stronger then they sound. But anyone I love me so I won't do anything. Plus drea would kill me if I did anything stupid. Thanks too her I can't even drink but I guess that's a good thing

Is what I feel I feel remorse and sorrow. I fell in love with a guy who will never admit to anyone but one person that he had feelings for me too. Now he's on his death bed and I can't even talk too him. In truth that makes me feel horrible. I really love this guy and it dosent matter too him or anyone else. The only preson who really cares is drea. That's why I love talking too her. She has this effect on me no one else has for me except yzy. I can't even talk too her right now. So basically I'm lost and confused and a whole bunch of other things. Alex is the most special preson in the world too me. I don't believe heKnows this though or dosent care. I act as if I hate him but he's the sun in my solar system. That's how much I need him. I don't just want him I honestly need him. But if he leaves me my solar system will collapse it'll turn cold and unable to inhabit life. This of course means I will...

Its fucking bullshit I can't believe it happened. Actually it might happen but how do I know its true. He lies so much if he dies ill hate him. I will never forgive him how can he leave me. Its just evil if he leaves me ill be empty. I mean there's so much I have too say too him so much good and bad. I can't believe this is real he's actually leaving me. I want tp fucking beat the shit out of that bitch. He has the nerve too try too apologize. I can't believe...

Its bull the way I'm treated by family. Its already bad enough they think I'm a complete phycho but they also accuse me of being OCD. Today my cousin said I only credit the boys at my cousins graduation. They think because I'm gay my life revolvesAround guys I can't take this homophobic family anymore! I need alex or drea or yzy before I explode!