http://www.punchrobert.com/videos/the-yes-dance/ holy lord, i am crying from laughing so hard right now tomorrow is going to be amazing the clique [i don't remember how it started, but it's what we call ourselves] is coming over my house tomorrow we're watching a walk to remember [the boys picked the movie, no joke] listening to each other [well, everyone who can play] play guitar and eating massive amounts of pizza gaaah, i love these people

i barely watch tv anymore. but i figured i'd tell you the shows that i DO watch. because they're the funniest shows on tv: the IT crowd - absolutely ridiculous and i love every second wilfred - he is a dog. only really, hes a drunk in a dog costume the whitest kids u'know - nope, i cant even describe it. ive been obsessed since day one flight of the conchords - ditto i haven't laughed this hard at tv since keenan and kel and the original all that.

moceanu - bayside, so good i decided i don't like punctuation that the end of a sentence but i like commas i could get in a whole discussion & dissection of that, but i won't so i've started to write down my dreams what i remember of them and i have a little notebook for them only i cant find a pen, so i'm writing my dream from last night here i forgot all about it til about 20 minutes ago and it was pretty much amazing so, i don't really remember the details but i remember that i was somewhere i didn't want to be it wasn't as simple as like 'i was in class', or 'i was with people i don't like' it was more like some strange unidentifiable place all i know is i felt threatened hurt scared etc, etc i remember feeling cramped panicky dirty i wish i could remember what was happening but it was cold outside - fucking freezing, actually snowing, i think so at some point, i got away from all the shittyness of this place and i ended up at a beach [it was still freezing out though] at this beach, greg [that boy i like] and corey were there [they're both part of my amazing crew i mention all the time] they were sitting by this... cove thing like a cave that was half underwater, almost like those cave things people have built into their pools or like the cave they go into to have sex in the movie 'teeth' but anyway, and corey and greg were so happy just happy in general smiling, laughing and they looked at me, still beaming and one of them said, 'don't think or say anything - just jump in the water' and i did and it was cold, but so fucking invigorating i felt 100% carefree so built up with happiness that i wanted to cry i never wanted to surface i just twisted and turned, danced and spun, feeling the cool crystal clear water all around me and i laughed, and smiled this happened like three different times i kept finding myself at this cove, and they would say the exact same thing every time - 'don't think or say anything - just jump in the water' - with these huge smiles on their faces not creepy, not sketchy just purely happy and warm and inviting and i wholeheartedly trusted them i can't even explain the explosion of emotion that erupted in me whenever i jumped in it was so beautiful and i want to know what it means though it seems sort of obvious it was just... refreshing this dream was a relief usually, my dreams revolve around me being panicked unprepared humiliated etc there's never any solution to it, though this dream had hope a solution a support system, as well and actually, it's the first dream i remember since i started hanging out with these kids maybe they really are making a difference in me i wish i could tell them only, maybe deep down, they already know i hope they do, at least

how to fix everything by bayside. i forgot how perfect it was. i really thought i was done. even in that entry from a few weeks ago, i didn't end up cutting. maybe i'll never really be done. once an addict, always an addict? shit. but fuck man, that first cut in a while felt goooooood fuck you dad, this ones for you.

oh look, i'm back too awake to sleep, too bored to do anything else INSTRUCTIONS 1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? jaws theme swimming [brand new] say whaaaaa? WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE? everything's too cold...but you're so hot [the early nov] haha, obv WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? sideways [rumbo tumbo] I LOVE RUMBO TUMBOOOOO! WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU? motivation proclamation [gc] fuck me, none of these are making sense WHAT DO YOUR EX'S THINK OF YOU? just for now [frou frou] ouuuuuch HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE? i kissed a girl [katy perry] HAHAHAHAHAHHA HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE? demonology and heartache [atreyu] whoa, haven't listened to this in forever. but wtf, that's not promising! WILL YOU GET MARRIED? scream out [the unseen] ....in happiness? good. WILL YOU HAVE KIDS? the importance of cocaine [dance gavin dance] hahaha these answers are hysterical ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL? didi (my doe, part 2) [the matches] YESSS I LOVE THIS SONG. i think i should just ditch this survey, none of my answers work pz. WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE? the danger in starting a fire [a day to remember] ah, i was waiting for ma boyZ to make an appearance on this survey. but srsly, wtf none of these answer the questions; i guess "i will never falter, i'll stand my ground"? hahahaha hate my life WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? sticks, stones, and techno [all time low] FUCKING YES, PARRRRTY HAHAHAHA THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE: who am i? [nfg] wait, so true tho YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE: choice hops and bottled self esteem [bayside] it's about time they showed up! and i guess this works, lyrics wise. more for just what i am/was/can be; not really my best friend[s]. but i am obsessed with this band [which you probably already knew?], their lyrics are so relevant. WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME? eulogy [saves the day] omg, i hope not!; but based on the lyrics, most likely. all my friends are going to college :( INCLUDING HIMMM WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD? hello, i'm in delaware [city and colour] clever! if i tell people i'm in delaware, they won't bother me. thus making my life easier.....wtf i need sleep WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING? travelin' thru [from american idol; jason castro] stfu, i love his voice/face/dreds. but i'd rather not consider myself 'just travelin' thru' on my wedding day. WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER? cecilia [simon & garfunkel] i wouldn't mind having men beg on their hands and knees for me to come home. and write a song about me. but, i would never wanna cheat on paul simon or art garfunkel! jubilaaaaation! she loves me again! ...hahaha wait i find this song so funny. YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING? our hell [emily haines] not really a saying...... HOW WILL I DIE? alice [two tongues] wtf! i don't even know her! what's her fucking motive!? THE SONG THAT YOU'LL HAVE AS THE TITLE? young and aspiring [underoath] yesss, ending on a good note holy shit such good songs came up! oh, good thing it's 3 am. BYE.

nostalgiaaaaa! i'm listening to fall out boy's take this to your grave. i loved this cd. still do. i remember being so upset when from under the cork tree came out because it sucked so hard. well, i've been really well lately. i can't put it any simpler. i feel like i've finally found what i've been searching for these past few years. though, i still have no clue what it was. i just hope i don't lose it again. fact: i changed the title of this entry 600 times because this album has such good lines hahahaha

i finished reading rant by chuck palahniuk fucking a, that man can write

so bored, like him lots, still confused pz. Song #1: this conversation is over by alesana Your favorite lyric from this song: i can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me Does this song have any bad memories attached? yeah. What genre is this? a sad excuse for hardcore? haha this is the only alesana song i actually like to be honest. Song #2: into the night by say anything What's the last line of this song? i will not watch his hands as they deftly pull you away into the night, into the night. Have you ever seen this artist live? yes, and they're amazing. Who does this song make you think of? too many sucky situations with boys i couldn't get over. Song #3: jersey girl by bruce springsteen What's the first line of this song? i got no time for the corner boys Where did you first hear this song? i don't even know. it was prob on the boardwalk during some summer in my life. because it plays at the boardwalk EVERY summer. "cuz down the shore, everything's all right" i mean, i LIVE in jersey. How about the first time you heard the artist? shit, idk. its bruce! Song #4: figure .09 by linkin part Which friend could this be a theme tune for and why? hm, idk i don't think it fits any of them actually. Write down the chorus: and now you've become a part of me you'll always be right here you've become a part of me you'll always be my fear i can't seperate myself from what i've done giving up a part of me, i've let myself become you (never goes away, never goes away) Why do you like this song? it's by linkin park. chester has the perfect amount of anger, and mike is just awesome. Song #5: everyone nose (all the girls standing in a line for the bathroom) by n.e.r.d. What kind of film would you choose this as the theme for? hahaha god, some stupid comedy where the overweight-and-hopelessly-white main character goes clubbing or something. Who introduced you to this artist? not sure. i love n.e.r.d. Best part of this song: the whole thing! especially the parody of it my friends and i wrote hahahaha. Song #6: franklin by paramore The fourth line reads: going back to get away after everything has changed How long is this song? 3:19 Is it one of your favourites? ummmm, nah, but it's really good. Song #7: read between the lines by dave melillo How long have you been listening to this artist? a few years now. What's the cover look like on the album this came from? it's not off an album. its some random demo that i am hopelessly in love with, im literally shaking right now. it happens every time i listen to this. What's this song about? being in love. the kinda of sweet gentle love that you can never find in real life. Has your favourite song come up? yessssssssssssssssss, read between the lines. and jersey girl. and into the night. seriously, listen to read between the lines. god, dave melillo is legit as helllll

so just when i think i'm beginning to accept the fact that he doesn't like me, he texts me 'just because'. i have no idea what to think. so far today, i've watched never been kissed and garden state. real life doesn't happen like this! ridiculous lies, transmitted daily. thank youuuuuu america. oh, yes sir, i'm a cynic in every sense of the word. mixed signals, you fucking assholes. make up your mind you piece of shit. you know i can't hate you. by the way, you have like 9 of my cds in your car. jackass, you know i can't hate you.

so four really good things, and one that may be bad, happened: 1. i went snowboarding with my amazing friends, and i fell in love with the sport, and even more in love with my friends. 2. BLINK 182 IS BACK. 3. TWO TONGUES ALBUM/NEW ADTR ALBUM CAME OUT. but i unfortunately only got two tongues. 4. i reconnected with amber, who for some reason i haven't talked to in a VERY long time. it went really well. 5. (and the thing that may spell disaster): i really, REALLY like him. a lot.