Current Music: Island by The Starting Line Today was very boring. I decided at one point to make a list of my favorite songs..this eventually turned into a list for the soundtrack to my life. I encourage everyone to do this, it really makes you think..well, anyway here is mine. All of these songs have changed my life in one way or another. Opening Credits: Halifax - Better Than Sex Waking Up: Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The E (Cut From The Team) Average Day: Quietdrive - The Season Spending Time With Friends: Taking Back Sunday - A Decade Under The Influence Falling in Love: The Used - I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes) Sex scene: The Higher - Insurance? Fight scene: 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill Breaking up: The Spill Canvas - All Hail The Heartbreaker Long night alone: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Cat And Mouse Getting back together: Jimmy Eat World - Kill Secret Love: Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want Life's okay: Train - When I Look To The Sky *Note- I am not religious in any way, this song just reminds me of my mom. Betrayal: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - False Pretense Mental breakdown: Bullet For My Valentine - All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me) Driving: Paramore - Crushcrushcrush Flashback: Papa Roach - Scars Partying: A Change Of Pace - Weekend Warriors Happy dance: Boys Like Girls - Heels Over Head Regretting: The Almost - Say This Sooner Climax: Just Surrender - New Declaration Death scene: Anberlin - Paperthin Hymn Ending credits: Kill Hannah - The Songs That Saved My Life *Well, i have to go now..job interview is soon. :)

Current Music: "Kill" by Jimmy Eat World i'd really like to believe that i'm over everything thats happened these past few weeks. but this morning i have realized that i most definitely am not...i just received a text from "sam" saying how he thinks we could be friends. i know i was the one who originally wanted that, but now, i just don't know what i want. i wish there was someone out there that could just tell me what to do in every aspect of my life. like what to do about sam. what colleges i should apply/go to. how to resolve every single fight i am in right now. but more importantly, i wish someone was there just to help me be happy. i mean for the longest time, i just figured life was supposed to be shitty. that maybe no one ever got a happy ending. there are so many things in my life that are so screwed up, i don't think anyone can fix them anymore. sometimes i wish i was self-destructive in some way. that way atleast i'd have something to do. i'm not big on cutting myself, never got any thrill from it. i drink, but because of my high tolerance for alcohol, it's basically a lost cause if i try to get trashed. i only just smoked pot for the first time about a month ago. it's like theres nowhere to go from here. i'm just at a point in my life right now where no matter what i do, if it's right or wrong, there will always be someone there to bitch at me for it. i don't know, maybe it's just me blowing things out of proportion again. or maybe it really is everybody else. haha i guess i'll never know. i'm gonna go now. i'll post again when i'm in a better mood :(

Current Music: "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" by Just Surrender well, i'm not pregnant. i took a test and it was negative. as soon as i got the results i felt so relieved. but it did make me think..if i was pregnant, would i tell him? or more importantly, would he care? i'm gonna try to not think about it though..i'd rather not go through a depression again. i'm passed the point where i want to be mad at him...i just want to move on now. if this past week has showed me anything, it really is that you can relate music back to anything and everything. every time i was feeling like there was nothing there to keep me going, a song would come on and cheer me up in every way possible. i've been getting into so many fights with everyone around me..my dad, sisters, and even my best friends. i just feel like everything i do just isn't good enough anymore, or maybe it never was good enough. guess i'll never know... well, anyway, i'm sick. i think i have the flu. i hope not cause that would majorly suck. but it feels like i do. idk, i haven't really left my room in 3 days. i've just been sitting in bed watching shitty tv. i don't know what's going on with me lately. i just have no urge whatsoever to hang out with anyone. i could say it's all because of how depressed i was when my mom died, but that would be a lie. i mean yeah, it's true that i was sad about that for awhile, but i don't think it has anything to do with me right now..after all that was last summer. a lot's happened since then. sometimes i just wish that i could fast forward through time. 6 months would be fine. atleast then i would know where my life was headed. my college applications would be done, and i'd be deciding where to go. more importantly, i would be leaving here. i just feel so suffocated here in this town. there's nothing here for me. all i really have is a few close friends. i'm ready for something new. an adventure, if you will. is it possible to outgrow the people you've been friends with for years? i have 2 best friends who honestly, if it weren't for them i have no idea where i would be right now. but still i just get so bored hanging out with them. at this point, i would rather sit at home watching re-runs than do anything with them. idk, maybe it's just a phase. i hope thats all it is because i don't even want to think about what would happen to me without them. well, i guess thats all for right now. i might write more later seeing as i have absolutely no life right now.

Well, it's not like I never saw this coming. I finally find a guy that completes me (or so i thought.) we didn't even date for that long but i loved him. it was definitely love at first sight...which is funny because before him, i didn't even believe in such a thing.. i'll start from the beginning..i was at my friends house. her boyfriend stopped by and brought a couple of his friends. right away i noticed him. (we'll call him sam.) so anyway, when they left i told my friend that i thought sam was cute. within a few days, we were going out. at first, we moved really slow, but after about 3 weeks we had gotten really serious...one night after a concert, we slept together. afterwards i regretted it, thinking to myself that it was too soon. but later that night i convinced myself that it was no big deal all because sam loved me. we ended up sleeping together one more time a couple days later. a few days after that, he broke up with me through a text message, which clearly showed he never cared. the only reason he gave to me for breaking up was that he has family issues right now and has a lot to do. he also said his dad hits him..i wasn't even sure what to say about that. all that happened about a week ago...and today i got another text from him saying he still has feelings for me, but doesn't want to be in a relationship. i asked if he wanted to try and be friends, and he never responded.. and today, i started thinking that i might be pregnant because i am 4 days late...great, pregnant at 17. i have no idea what i am going to do if i am I'm not even sure that anyone reads this, but if anyone has read this entry, please, any advice or input you can give me i will gladly take. just contact me through myspace

After months of browsing this website, I finally decided to join. Well to start off, music is my entire life. I love learning about new music. Bands are amazing, whether they are just starting out, or I am one of a million fans. Music will never let you down and you can alway relate to it. Thats all for now. I'm out