what i really wished my friends knew is that no matter how i treat them, i love them. and i'm at that really insecure stage in my life now so that should explain all of my behavior. but i do love them and i want them to stand by my side. and to my family, i love you guys with all my heart, and i know i'm not the ideal child and i have many faults but understand that i don't know why i treat you guys like i do sometimes and it honest to god kills me everytime i do. it's almost as if my life is written out and i have no choice to obey. but i really do love you guys and i wish so badly that i could change just for you all.