the mind is truly a powerful thing. i mean, if something's bothering you, you have no choice but to listen to it, and it sure as hell does not let you put it off. you can't run from it either or forget it like most other things. i'm at the point now where i'm really only safe in my sleep. it's the only time i really, truly forget about it... on a lighter note, i'm in the race:) birthdays soon yay! lots of things coming up to be excited about... most of all in about 9 or 10 days from now i will be completely and forever done with ap us history and getting ready for a fun fun fun fun night...yes, wow, i can't even think about that right now...ahhh also i heard a new quote the other day that was really inspiring. i don't know exactly what it was but it was something along the lines of "i'm the author of my life, and i'm writing in pen." i don't know, it made me think peaceloveOHIO

so lately i've been comparing myself to friends, strangers, families and, how silly of me, i am now just realizing how unhealthy that is! i mean i guess i always knew the thought of it was, but i never actually understood how unhealthy that is to my self esteem. so here it is... i'm not the prettiest, the shortest, the most outgoing, the funniest, the most daring, the most exciting, the one the boys are attracted to or tend to notice i don't finish first, have confidence, think of myself as a feminine, beautiful girl i question how normal i am, how people see me, if all of this is worth waiting for i worry that i'll never get married, that i'll never fall in love, that people are moving on with out me i feel left out a lot and i am very, very sensitive i lose my temper a lot i get embarassed easily i'm always wanting more i feel like i'm not good enough i get stressed out way too often i fear commitment (i think) i'm afraid to be in a relationship but what i understand now is that it's okay. it's okay to have flaws and most of all it's okay to be who you are. it's time to stop comparing and start embracing. peaceloveTOANEWDAY

yay spring break. and i am for the first time (if you don't count driving to canada) leaving the country:D costa rica in fact. i am extremely excited because i am going with my old best friend tiffy. so it should be good bonding time. PLUS....WARM FREAKING WEATHER! i have been in the cold for sooo long, and our florida trip was pretty chilly, so i am extremely excited to be going and visiting a new country! yay yay yay well i'm leaving in 5 hours from now. yeah, at 1 a.m. fun right? peacelove'OHIAMJUSTBEACHYYY'

i just made a delicious milkshake and i'm super excited because it's sunny out and it't the second day of spring break. so what a good day:) anyways here it is in case you're interested: vanilla ice cream a little milk chocolate syrup one banana (sliced) nutmeg(a little) cinnamon(i like a lot of this) vanilla extract (a tiny bit) enjoyyyyy:D