it's tough not knowing the kind of person you want to be, but knowing all too well the person your parents expect you to be. all my friends are being normal teenage high schoolers. god, i wish i could just be normal like that and do the things that we probably shouldn't be doing. however, everytime i try to, i feel so guilty like i know this is not how i should be acting. it's getting tiring listening to everything my parents tell me and i'm starting to rebel but not as much as i like. as of now though, i decided to take it as a case by case basis. if i feel like doing something, hell, why not? and if i regret it the next day, i'm going to turn on some music and deal. that's how it goes during these years anyways. fun times, memories, and regrets. although one can only hope there are more of the first two than the last one. bottom line: i wish i didn't have to be such a goody goody shy girl all the time. fuck, it's about time things start changing. peaceloveIFIFALL

PS warped tour this year? amazing! i don't wanna go into all the dets, cause too many and no one would understand cause i can't explain them well. but one huge one I MET DEREK SANDERS (mayday parade's lead singer :] ) well technically my friend helped. but i wasn't an annoying groupie either. it was really chill and casual. it was perfect. anyways here are the bands i saw 1. we the kings 2. the audition 3. say anything 4. katy perry 5. every avenue 6. forever the sickest kids 7.mayday parade (acousitc) missed the actual and i think that's it :] good day needless to say

it bites to be hurt by the ones you love the most. especially best friends. but the whole best friends thing? i'm over it. completely over it. high school doesn't need to be black and white as far as friends go. and i'm sick of all my friends constantly changing their 'best friends' all you ever end up getting is hurt. bottom line. like tonight for instance... having two best friends is great, if your two best friends don't consider themselves better friends with each other than they are with you. i don't want to sound like a whining teen but it really sucks to feel hurt like this. just neglected really by the people i love. on the brighter side, i've learned that it's better to have many friends than one supposed 'good' one. these past few weeks i've been reaching out to people that i never thought to call and i'm so glad i did. as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason, and i'm really starting to believe that. but i also can't help but wonder, why am i being treated like this by my friends in the first place? i'm really not a bitch, probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet. but i am a strong believer in karma so i'm not sure. anyways i'm guessing things can't get anyworse than they are so it's all uphill from here. positive thinking is exactly what i need to be doing. peaceloveGROWUP