fate is an elegant, cold hearted whore she loves salting my wounds yes she enjoys nothing more i bleed confidence from deep within my guts now i'm the king of this pity party with my jewel encrusted crown

soooo yea my shyness...its being taken from me...umm YAYYYYYY like im getting soo much better i can talk to ppl without gettin freaked or nervous. im getting my confidence back. gawd i love school. its done wonders =]

tonight i went to a fb game with my close friends a, e, and m. yea long story im sick of drama. sick of bitches. sick of fake people. sick of being treated like i'm absolutely n.o.t.h.i.n.g . all my old friends (k,r, etc including bestie did that to me) plus they all have horrible reps. i know it sounds shallow, but at some point, when it starts effecting me, i need to put an end to it. get it? so i have like new friends that i realize just like value my friendship more. and i love them for that. if k r and ex bestie have a problem. sucks im FINALLY making changes in my life FINALLY living up to them FINALLY doing something for me, and only me. if they can't let me do that, i dont know what they ever were to me. sooooo yea brings me to here. i just feel so empty right now like wow how do i describe this. i want to be 'out there' doing something, living life, driving around, being careless, not coming home. anyone understand? idk maybe im the only one but i just need to get away from it all. nothing can give me that certain high that i just crave. gawd i cant handle this feeling of, well, nothingness and emptiness. its so overwhelming and confusing. so many things i want to do, accomplish and be. so many things just flying around my mind. im just not smart enough to sort it all out . maybe this is all a circle for me. all these feelings add up to me wanting that ONE perfect boy to walk into my life. not just a boy i have to SETTLE on. just THE boy for me. the problem is i can't sit and wait for him. i need to let him come to me, and i cant be anticipating it. but its so hard not to. i dont know i need answers need them fast peace love HALLOWEEN DANCE

yea i haven't posted in a long long long time basically i went to homecoming =] yayyy it was freaking amazing. i just was a little disappointed that i didn't dance with a lot of guys. what can i say, im shy =[ anyways my goals for next dance (winter) dance with this senior ;] basically i have this year cause next year...he's gone =[ pressure pressure peace love SENIORS