"GET OUT OF THIS PLACE WHILE WE STILL HAVE TIME." couldn't be any truer as of right now. i think everyone is feeling the same right now. we are all scared and excited at the same time. everyone wants to start their life, but starting this life means ending another. it means ending the easy life, the fun times. it means everyone is changing and some friendships won't ever be the same again. it means, not seeing or talking to some people ever again. but if we don't leave right now, i don't think we ever will. i feel safe here. i feel comfortable here. is that a good or a bad thing? can someone really have too much of a good thing? am i spoiled here? i have dreams. i have hopes. i have my future. if i stayed here, i won't become what i want to. if i stay here, i won't be being fair to myself. this is my time in my life where i am allowed to be selfish. "YOU'LL SIT ALONE FOREVER IF YOU WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME, WHAT ARE YOU HOPING FOR?" if i sit here and wait for someone to get me up and wake me up, what am i sitting here for? what will i accomplish? nothing. i don't want to turn thirty and learn that i have accomplished nothing. that i have helped no one. "I WON'T ALWAYS LIVE IN MY REGRETS". no matter how hard life is, i know i am strong. i use to believe i was strong, but i know i am strong. "I AM HERE, I'M NOW, I'M READY" "DON'T GIVE AWAY THE END, THE ONE THING THAT STAYS MINE". as much as i am scared, i would never want to know what my future holds. surprise me.

1) Do you know anyone who has messed up your life? my life? no. it's my life, not theirs. it'd be my fault if my life ever got messed up. 2) What was the age difference between you and the last person you kissed. 2 years. 3) Do you have a best friend? yes. 4) Do you have any siblings? one. 5) Where was your default taken? breakwall. 6) What are you doing tonight? i wanna play monopoly. 7) Wearing any jewelery? nope. 8) Who was the last person on your bed besides yourself? boyfriend. 9) Where is your shirt from? concert. 10) What is one thing you could eat all day, everyday? cereal. 11) Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you? vanessa. 12) Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying? haha.yeah. 13) Did you cry today? no. 14) When did you last take a test? couple months ago. i'm going to take one in like, three weeks. oh, man. 15) Are you happy? yeah, i suppose. 16) Are people annoying? certain ones, yeah. 18) Has anyone ever sang to you? horribly and wonderfully, yes. 19) How tall are you? five three. 22) Who will you be sleeping with tonight? maybe boyfriend. 23) Do you have a brother? one. 25) Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? no. 26) Whose bed did you sleep in last night? mine. 27) Ever kissed anyone 30 or older? no. 29) What are you listening to? work-jimmy eat world. 30) Do you like summer? loveee summer. 31) What are you excited about? moving. i'm getting more and more excited. 33) Do you like to cuddle? love to. 34) Where is your number one person on your friends list? work junk. 35) Do you want to see someone this very minute? my boyfriend... 36)Do you like anyone? i love someone. 37) Have you ever done drugs? one. 38) Who do you not get along with? eh. 39) Do you think you're approachable? yes. 40) Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you and meant it? yes. 41) Have you ever injected a drug? no. 42) When was the last time you saw your father? may 30. whoa. 43) What is bothering you right now? that i haven't seen my dad since may. 44) What is in the back seat of your car right now? i don't have a car, yet! 45) What was the last thing you ate? hm. cranberries, possibly. 46) Do you have a dog? no. 47) Biggest annoyance in your life right now? well, now it's that i don't have a dog. frig. 48) Do you eat healthy? no. 49) What is the last thing to make you laugh? myself.

Does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes to make fun of? sometimes. they make mistakes too, but i don't bring it up to them. i wish they would have the courtesy for me, too. but they usually don't. What did you do this afternoon? i lounged. and lounged. and lounged. Who will you be sleeping with tonight? boyfriend, maybe. depends. If it was free and it would work would you get plastic surgery? no. Is the opposite sex really worth it to you? eh, i don't know sometimes. i'm confused. If you were to die today would your life be complete? no, it would not. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone, no. When was the last time you ran into your most recent ex? eh, i think the last time i went to the movies at the GKC. long time ago. i miss him. How did you feel when you woke up today? i felt pretty good, actually. Have you ever driven without a license? duh. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? i do. what are you thinking about right now? i'm thinkingggg that i wanna hang out with jody, one last time. i'm gonna miss that kid. Do you wish someone was with you right now? no. i'm fine. What time did you go to sleep last night? around midnight. i was exhausted. where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? at a concert. Ever kissed someone who smokes? yeah. Is someone on your mind right now? no. well, kinda. Did you sing at all today? yeah. Who do you like to spend your nights with? friends. mom. boyfriend. What was the first thing you thought this morning? i want to watch the jane austen book club. What are you doing tomorrow? eh, i don't know. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? dark knight. Have you ever cried while in the shower? yes. When was the last time you were given roses? and why? i have never gotten roses. Do you drink iced tea? yes. i love it. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? male. Are you a morning person or a night? night. Does anyone like you? yes. Are your parents strict? haha no. Ever kissed your number 1 on Myspace? yeah. What are you listening to at the moment? just like the movies-regina spektor. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? i am. Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yeah. When will your next kiss be? later tonighttt:] Do you have a best friend to lean on? my motherrr! If you were a reasonable age, would you prefer a baby boy or girl? baby boy. If you were to have a baby boy what would his name be? jack. What was the last thing you hid? journal.

How old do you look? sixteen, really. hah. Where is the person who has your heart at this moment? at work. Are you waiting for something? yes, yes, yes. What were you doing at ten last night? mmm. in marq, i think. Last myspace message you received? from dana:] Can you handle the truth? sometimes. but it's way better than lying. just. sock it to me. Did you cry today? no. Do you hate the last person you had a conversation with? no. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status? mm. everyone. haha. Have you ever thought about converting your religion? i don't have a religion, so. What TV show could you watch over and over again? i watch family guy and the nanny and that 70's show and saved by the bell. lots of shows, really. What was the last thing you drank? diet coke. Last person you hugged? boyfrienddd:]]]]] Who do you most look like in your family? mmm. dad, probably. Did you have a dream last night? yes. How many piercings do you have? zero. If you could have something right now, what would it be? my blanket. Does anyone call you babe? yeah. Where does your family live? copper country. wyoming. everywhere. Have you ever seen somebody get hit by a car? i don't think so. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? yeah. that thought passed just as fast as it came. Have you broken a bone? nope. Have you ever had a panic attack? yes. What can't you wait for? LIFE. When is the last time you told someone you loved them and meant it? mmmm. yesterday. Do you live near your most recent ex boyfriend/girlfriend? kinda. What did you have for lunch today? not a damn thing. Ever licked someone's cheek? yeahhh. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? mm crackers. Where were you on July 4th, 2008? al quall. What do you wash first in the shower? hair. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? warm. What do you currently hear right now? three days grace. Does someone like you right now? yeah. Could you go out in public looking like you do now? i did. i don't care. i haven't showered all day though:X On the opposite sex, where do you like them to have piercings? i kinda like the tongue piercings, hah. What kind of cell phone do you have? zero. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? eh, probably. Favorite food? cereal. What is your favorite color? blue. Have you ever had a 3-some? GROSS. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? mmm. to the sixites for woodstock. Would you hold hands with the last person you held hands with? yepp.

Would you kill your neighbor? no. Do you currently like someone? yess. Do you plan on liking them for a long time? i hope so, really. What were you doing ten minutes ago? i was on my couch. What's the last movie you saw? some poison ivy movie. it was absurd. What did your last received text message say? will do, maybe. Do you carve pumpkins every year? no. Color of your shirt? pink. Whats your favorite season? fall, usually. How are you feeling right now? eh. What did you do this weekend? nothing, really. What is the last thing you touched? hair. Would you do anything for someone else? yes. Have you ever been called a punk? no. Was yesterday better than today? no. Do you have a favorite number? five. Do you hate anyone? yes. Does your best friend have a MySpace? yes. If you could meet anyone who would it be? james mcavoy. Last time you went out to lunch? hmm. bk. i think. kinda. Do you have any music you're ashamed of? nah. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with a member of the opposite sex? no. How old will you be in 2 months? nineteen. Do you have one or more Britney Spears Cd's? i have ... i use to. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? yepp. Do you ever sing in the shower? yes. What is your favorite movie? pride&prejudice. Do people ever spell your name wrong? yeah. Can you sing? horribly, yes. When was the last time you cried? yesterday. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? can be. Have you ever been to the Gulf of Mexico? no. Do you know how to knit? i wish. that'd be useful. Is there something currently bothering you? kinda. What are you doing right now besides this survey? nothing. well, trying to burn a cd. Do you know how to play poker? kinda. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? neither. Facebook or MySpace? facebook. Do you wear any jewelry? no. What are the colors of your bedroom walls? white. When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night? morning, usually. night just feels weird. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? HARRY POTTER. Fly or road trip? road trip. Batman, Spiderman, Superman? spiderman. What are your plans for tonight? boyfriend.

Have you ever made out/kissed with someone you weren't dating? yes. Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'? of course. Has anybody on your top ever admitted to liking you? yes. duh. Do you miss anyone? sometimes. Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone? now. When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? last night. Who is your celebrity crush? james mcavoy. Can you touch your toes? duh. Do you know anybody who was abused? yes. Do you take walks often? yeah. i love them. Is silence really golden? sometimes. Do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings? nope. Are you afraid to grow up? NO. that's what i desperately want to do. Who were you with last night? boyfriend. Can you count past 100? of course. i'm not retarded. What language do you want to learn? french.finnish. Any upcoming vacations? mayo clinic? If you had to marry someone on your top, who would it be? ick. marriage. Do you care what people think of you? no. Would you call yourself smart? yes, i would. Do you like to read? of course. i'm addicted. Have you ever touched an elephant? i think so. maybe? Plans for tomorrow? tomorrow is tuesday, so no. Confessions: Is anything wrong? yes. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends? i do all the timeee:] Would you date anyone on your top friends? i am. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? yes, i do. What did you do for your last birthday? i played on a playground with my bestest friends. What were you doing at midnight last night? watching a movie. Name something you CANNOT wait for? to eat. What's your favorite season? spring/fall. Have you ever talked to Tom? no. Last thing you ate/drank: water. Have you ever ran with scissors? yes. Who’s making you feel the way you are right now? myself. Most visited web page? songmeanings. Coke or Pepsi? coke, all the wayyy. Looking forward to something this weekend? yes. How many siblings do you have? one. Do you have any pets? yes. What's your favorite number? five. What are you watching right now? the computer screen. Do you know how to swim? yes. Is good grammar attractive? VERY. Friend confessions: Are you jealous of one or more of your friends? no. Who is one friend that you have known the longest? renee. Are any of your friends taller than you? most of them are. Have you ever been ditched by a friend? yes. Where do your friends live? far away from me. Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number? yes. Have you been to most of your friends house? yes. Love confessions: Do you currently like someone? i love someone. Do you get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily? nope. i don't. i'm a pretty boring person too. sooo. Has one of your crushes ever called you self centered before? no. Personal opinion confessions: Who do you want for President? OBAMA. Do you think abortions are horrible? no, i don't. Needles aren't so horrible? nope. You have plenty of secrets that you share with...? mother. Other confessions: Do you enjoy drama? no, no i don't. Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you? cat.

35 little secrets: Be honest no matter what! [ZERO] Who was your last text from? renee. [ONE] Where was your default pic taken? breakwall. [TWO] Whats your middle name? nicole. [THREE] are surveys pointless? sometimes. sometimes they help clear my head. [FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend? yeah. [FIVE] What is your current mood? anxious. [ SIX] Whats one of your sisters name? i have no sister. [ SEVEN ] What's your favorite color? blue. [ EIGHT] If you could go back in time and change something, would you? i wouldn't change anything. [NINE] Do you have a crazy side? of course. [TEN] Ever had a near death experience? yes. [ELEVEN] Who did you last video call with? i don't do that. [TWELVE] Angry at anyone? no. [THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like? not a thing. [FOURTEEN]when was the last time you cried? few days ago. [FIFTEEN] Who would you do anything for? mother. [SIXTEEN] Are you happy with your life? sometimes. [SEVENTEEN] Do you wish someone dead? i don't really know. [EIGHTEEN] Is there someone that you will never stop loving? yes. [NINETEEN] What Kind Of Phone Do You Have? a phone. [TWENTY]Who do you trust most? i don't know. [TWENTY ONE] Ever been in a fist fight? no. [TWENTY TWO]Have you kissed someone In The Past WeeK? yeah. [TWENTY- THREE ] Do you speak any other languages? SPANISH. [TWENTY- FOUR] Who is your friend[s] that your close to? my mother. [TWENTY-FIVE] Describe your life in one word: eh. [TWENTY- SIX] Have you ever kissed in the rain? yes. [TWENTY-SEVEN] What are you thinking of right now? i need to fucking clean. [TWENTY- EIGHT ] What should you be doing right now? cleaning. [TWENTY-NINE] Who are you thinking of right now? blah. [THIRTY] What are you listening to? MEATLOAF. [THIRTY- ONE] Who was the last person you told I love you to? cat. [THIRTY- TWO] Who was the last person who yelled at you? idk. mom. [THIRTY- THREE ] Do you act differently around the person you like? i don't have toooo:] [THIRTY-FOUR] What is your natural hair color? brown. [THIRTY- FIVE] Who was the last person to make you smile? boyfriend.

If you could change your eye color would you? in a second, yes. Last person you told a secret to? hm. mother. What are you listening to right now? tbs. What's your favorite thing about Sunday? nothing. i cannot stand sundays. When was the last time you cried? 2 days ago. Do you hate anyone? yes. one person. Last phone call received? daddy:] What are you wearing on your feet? my blanket. Who did you last get into a big argument with? boyfriend. Would you have sex with someone you had known less than 24 hrs? with james mcavoy, hell yeah. Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yes. If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be? i wouldn't. everything happens for a reason. and if that person is out of my life, they are out for a reason. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an R? yes. Do you have a best friend to lean on? i have my mom. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's underwear? yes. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? bathroom. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? medium length is nice. If you were a reasonable age, would you prefer a baby boy or girl? a baby boy. What was the weather like today? it's going to be crappy. Are you over the age of 25? no. Who are all under "d" in your contacts in your cell phone? i don't know. i don't care. When was the last time you touched drum sticks? who knows. What are you excited about? eh. Who do you text the most? i don't text much. Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it? i could never. How do you currently make your money? i don't. What is the last letter of your middle name? e. Are you happy right now? i'm fine. What were you doing last night? i went to marq. and watched movies. Do you want to get married & have children one day? i want children. the married part, eh. Is there any food that you are craving right now? no. Are you waiting for something? very patiently. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone, no. Do you tend to fall for people easily? no, i don't. Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? yes. If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay? well, i'd get some toliet paper to kill it. Have you ever liked some one that treated you bad? yeah. whatever. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yes. Is there some form of medication you should take? sure. Which of your friends do you argue with the most? eh. it's all pretty equal right about now. Walk or Run? walk. Do you know anyone with a hitchhiker's thumb? no. that'd be sweet. Where were you at 10pm last friday night? i have no clue. Have you ever stepped on a straightener? yes. Have you hugged or kissed anyone in the last 72 hours? yessss. Have you cried today? no. What was something that happened to you in 1997? i moved to this shitty town. Was today a good day? it's going to be dull. but dull is the way i like it. Is there someone in your life you don't want in it? no. Do you get mad easily? sometimes. Do you get a lot of hugs or kisses everyday? nah. What happened at 10AM this morning? i got up. What is the last thing someone bought you? fun dips. Whats the last thing you ate? blueberries. Is your bedroom window open? yes. Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? yeah.

Starting time: 2:09 p.m. Name: stephanie. Sisters: none. Brothers: one. Eye color: brown. Height: five three. i'm a shortie. What are you wearing right now? shirt. shorts. Where do you live? ishpeming. Favorite Number? five. Favorite Drink? water. Favorite Month? july. Favorite Breakfast? cereal. ***********Have You Ever***************** Loved someone so much it made you cry? yes. Broken a bone? no. Been in a police car? yes. Been on a plane? no. Felt like you wanted to cry and have no freaking idea why? yes. Been in a hot tub? yes. Swam in the ocean? YES:] best feeling ever. Fallen asleep in school? yes. Broken someone's heart? yes. Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? nope. Saved e-mails? yes. Been cheated on? felt like it. Cheated on someone? no. ***********What is-**************** Your room like? plain. getting empty:] What is the last thing you ate? lucky charms. ------------Ever Had- -------------- Chicken pox? yes. sore throat? yes. -------------------------Do You------------------------ Believe in love at first sight? no. Like picnics? of course. Like school? yeah, i do. -----------------------Questions------------------------- Who was the last person you texted? boyfriend. Who makes you smile? mom. --------------------------Who------------------------- Who did you last yell at? boyfriend. Do you like filling these out? sometimes. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? neither. Do you like yourself? sometimes. ---------------------Final Questions--------------------- What are you listening to right now? stupid girl. ------------------------Today did you-------------------- Talk to someone you like/love? yes. Got sick yet? this year? yes. Sing? YES. Talked to an ex? no. Miss someone? yes. --------------------Last person who--------------------------- Was in your bed (besides you)? boyfriend. You talked to on the phone? boyfriend. Made you cry? boyfriend. You went to the mall with? buddies. -----------------Have You Ever-------------- Been to Canada? no. Been to Africa? no. Been to Europe? no. ------------------------Random---------------------- Do you have a crush on someone? duh. What books are you reading right now? bookends. Best feeling in the world? trusting someone. Future kids names? jack albert. grace lynn. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? yeah. What's under your bed? dust. Favorite location? ocean. Who do you really hate? him. Do you have a job? no. Are you lonely right now? nope. TIME FINISHED: 2:12

today is august first. and i woke up. and that's what i first thought of. at first, i was petrified. i couldn't believe i was going to move away and go somewhere where i am completely out of my comfort zone. i thought of my boyfriend, britt. and my mom. and how much i am going to miss them. and how much i have taken them for granted. how much i should've done and said. but i didn't. and i can't take it back. time won't go back for me. and i don't deserve it. i started thinking more and more, and i got excited. i am moving away. i am going outside of my comfort zone. i am learning to experience life. i thought of how hard it is going to be and how much weight i am going to gain. how much i'm going to cry and want to move back. and then i thought, what do i have to go back to? this? here? if i came back, it would be, to a dead end. i need my own life and i need to know that i can succeed. i need to know that i can be independent more than dependent. i need to know that i am confident and secure with myself. i need to know that i cannot make everyone like me. i need to stand on my own two feet and do whatever it takes to start my life. i'm only eighteen years old and i'm just learning. for the longest time, all i've ever thought about was moving and getting away from here. and i finally get to. unbelievable. if someone would've told me this five years ago, even two years ago, i wouldn't of believed them. i would've called them a liar and gotten so mad at getting my hopes up. i won't have to deal with married boyfriend anymore. i won't have to deal with friends drama anymore. i won't have to deal with boyfriend's drama anymore. i won't have to deal with halo anymore. the only thing i have to deal with, is myself. i need to trust myself. and know that i am smart. and i am capable. i need to have confidence. i am smart. i am capable. i can move and be successful. i'm not running away. i am running to something. my future. be hopeful. not realistic, not pessimisitc. i can do this. i know i can. the first couple months will be unbearable and i will want to quit. i will want to quit. i will get depressed. don't quit, stephanie. cry it out, suck it up, and move on. just do it. no excuses. i am stephanie, hear me roar.