So today I relit the candle in my soul
The one that lets you know I'm home
The flame struggles wildly
As it bears the winds of time
It hisses and spits
As it bears the drops of doubt
There is a light that never goes out
Because last time my lungs filled with smoke
And my brain slithered out through my mouth
And he's gone, but I'm not without
And he's here, but I'm not yet with
And when I fade away
Scrape off the wax from my bones
And let a little of me burn
and melt in a little of you
Do we go down together
Or do I wait my turn
Am I just a foreign fuck
Or am I baby doll deluxe

Maybe we both dodged a bullet
Why does one of us have to cock it and pull it
I had to sail against the blue current
Of those listless, ticking days
Is it better to have waited
I wouldn't know
I let go
If it's not wrought with passion
Well then I'd rather go without
I guess I know
Even when I don't know
That I can't wait
in fear of waiting in vain
So I scoop up some sand
And watch it trickle out
As coarse bitter rain
And the tide disappears
Like it never came

Hot and cold
hot and Cold
Pick a tap
And watch it flow
He asked me if I swallow
If only my pride weren't so hollow
"Oh how does your garden grow?"
Why, with all these wild oats I sow!
Throwing browned pieces of bananas at the crows
From the sleek silver muscle car that I do tow
A little chocolate doll bows
Out of the throes
Sifting through the madness
Expelling all her woes
Take it easy: love nothing
Conor Oberst moans
My love for you peels like poster paper
Slipping down the walls of my soul
Floating to the floor
With all the other vanquished foes
So it goes
Vonnegut rolls
Sing me to sleep
As one of Morrissey's whores
Castigat Ridendo Mores
Live, Laugh, Let it Go
You a stupid ho
That's right,
I let Nicki Minaj take it home
Goodbye you limpdick bag of bones

was it bronze or was it blue

was it hue or was it you

how could i possibly choose

to describe the beauty

or the blood

that it drew 

your fingers your jaw your cheeks 

my flaws 

i can't be without you

so i have to be without you 

a heartbreak in my dreams 

and a handshake in my thoughts

van gogh packs up your things 

and the medicine lifts you off

as you sink into the quiet neurons 

working away in the back of my mind 

a blue lightning nightmare

that i can never doubt i love 

be free be well be happy 

you dick

He's pretty like a dream

that I always wake up from 

too soon

and at dawn

i drown in a 

crystal monsoon 

to help me survive the three days 

or until it's too late 

like water in my veins 

and blood on your lips 

if I can't last another 3 hours 

bless me or leave me

to burst into flame

if you're not ordained

then why do I kneel

to the ghost of a saint

ha/ollowed by lies

yet as I prepare to (s)wallow 

I always faint

And you're gone

and i watch the trail fade into sun 

light from whence it came

like a moonlit night fading into a sunny day

but why

does it 

never

feel

that

way

as

i

melt

a

w

a

y

Notes:

Nobody knows how to love like a poet
And everybody thinks they're a poet
Sure baby just hold back
Love-soaked eyes
Our thoughts are mere tracings of reality
Tongue stuck out in concentration
Scrunched eyebrows and a steady gaze
Compensating for a shaky hand
And eyes framed by stained glass
Big butt big buts

god I shoulda known

man am I ever gonna miss you 

what good is an "I do like you"

when it comes after goodbye drew 

Orion draped in cloud's mist
The moon wore a veil
Do you see the future
In our kaleidoscope
Or do you see the past
Not another misanthrope
Not another misanthrope
Is love an umbrella
In a terrible storm
To be put away in the sunshine
Is love a ladder of locks
Flowing down a wall
To be cut away in the nighttime
What am i supposed to do
With a heart full of chocolate soup

And when I shatter?

"Very brave," a harsh, gravelly voice came from behind the two hulking Mustachios. A tall, slight man dressed in a deep blue double-breasted seemed to glide through his colleagues toward the grave and its soon-to-be occupant. 

The juxtaposition of the well-dressed man in front of the heaving and filthy boy became more pronounced as they stood almost nose-to-nose now. A breath could have pushed the boy into the pit. He knew he was defenseless. They were playing with their food before they ate it. He was shaking involuntarily but he kept his eyes steady, locked into the dead silver eyes of the man they called "The Machine". It was the worst punishment the Mustachios had, so it seemed that he’d hit a nerve. The Machine pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and mopped up the sweat on his brow, never removing his calculating stare from the boy. The heat beat down on them and the cicadas whined faintly in the distance.

“Wherishe!” He choked out, coughing and out of breath from spending the whole day in the heat without any water.

“Pardon?” The man smirked, knowing that the boy was very close to collapsing.

“Torr…” He burst into another coughing fit and gave up trying to tell them what they already knew.

The Machine waited until he was done retching to say, “I should have known you’d go looking for Torrence. Ahh I always found brotherly love to be so touching.” His wide, sinister smile made the situation seem surreal.

“Alive…” The boy mumbled, sinking to his knees, “Is he?”

“Not sure to be quite honest. That’s not my department,” The Machine shrugged, nonplussed, “But I do have a job offer for you, my friend.” He extended his hand in what could be surmised as a benevolent gesture.

The boy stayed on the ground, muddy brown clashing with pure silver until The Machine sighed, “Well, you have two choices. Take the job. Or I push you into this lovely pit you made and bury you alive.”

“Go fuck yourself,” The boy managed to sputter out before he began to retch again.

The Machine's lips split apart cruelly.

"A thousand crystal tambourines /

wounded the dawn."

wow. now THAT'S how you describe the stars. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Here is a link to the full poem: http://old.aprweb.org/poem/sleepwalk-ballad

so you waited

with your arms out tenderly

and they rendered you a tragedy

the next time

you sharpened the blade

and cut down the ones 

that made minor mistakes

now you're alone

with a bitter peacefulness