hey it has been a wile since you have entered a decent entry, lol, you got a lot to reply on, lol, so i suggest you get to it, lol

man, 8 months with my baby, it has been great, man, so much to look forward to, i know the end of shcool is going to be a bitch, but it is almost over and there is so much to lookforward to, i cant wait right now i miss just hanging out with swan just care free sorta, without school or really time limits, so many restictions, it seems here at school we only get to see each other at the breaks, and we have vp together which i am very happy for but that is only every other day and only like little over an hour, adn we get to talk on the phone a bit, we end up doing most our talking through letters, and dont get me wrong, i love every moment i get with her and every letter i get, but man i really want to just hang out and stuff like that without all the destractions of school and just have fun or work on music , or actualy just talk without timelimits and stuff so we can say what we mean to say and take the needed time to say it, well at least school is almost up man, swan said she doesnt feel very strong right now, i hope she can find the strength she needs, she has been hit with some heavy blows emothionally, and she deals with so much, i wish her so much strength, i know she has it, i know she can overcome her struggles of today, i know she can really become something, she has already acomplished winning my heart, and i know she will become something, she has it in her, i just wish her all the strength she needs, and i will help her whenever she needs it man, this summer will really kick ass, i cant wait, me and swan will be able to grow as a couple, hang out more, and finaly get to music, i cant wait, i think we will really grow this summer, as a couple, in music, art, life, as people, yeah, i cant wait, it should kick ass,

man, 8 months with my baby, it has been great, man, so much to look forward to, i know the end of shcool is going to be a bitch, but it is almost over and there is so much to lookforward to, i cant wait man, swan said she doesnt feel very strong right now, i hope she can find the strength she needs, she has been hit with some heavy blows emothionally, and she deals with so much, i wish her so much strength, i know she has it, i know she can overcome her struggles of today, i know she can really become something, she has already acomplished winning my heart, and i know she will become something, she has it in her, i just wish her all the strength she needs, and i will help her whenever she needs it man, this summer will really kick ass, i cant wait, me and swan will be able to grow as a couple, hang out more, and finaly get to music, i cant wait, i think we will really grow this summer, as a couple, in music, art, life, as people, yeah, i cant wait, it should kick ass

man, i love watching swan perform, even if it is for a cheezy choir thing, idk, she is really a stand out of the crowd, in a good way, she is , unique and talented, and just beautiful, and all three of those in one person is hard to come by, plus she is hella cool,so that really helps too. but damn we got so many things that hold us back, to start, the big one school, although school brings us together every day, it really gets in the way with classes and rules and other less wanted people, but the unwanted people only seem to get in the way of walking, lol, but anyway, and i am glad we see each other, but we dont really get to talk about much, it is more we only can write, then there is parents, my parents do stuff, her parentes do stuff, our parents restrict us and well yeah, altough parents are good to have, they are one factor that gets in the way of some things, and then past all that is time, because we are taken up by those things, we are leaft with very little time to work with, and somethings need a lot of time, to top all that off, right now it is 10x worse because of finals and stuff that occupy our minds so we have to work so hard to pass our classes adn just so much pressure right now, it all blocks us from really talking or just enjoying the silence with one another there, not to mention the physical desires really get block out as well, man but, there is good news, because there are only 9 days of school left, then all the pressure is gone, school is mostly out of the way and her restictions will be droped if not mostly gone, and could devote a lot more time to music, talking on a deeper level, enjoying the silence of each other, and also just having fun with each other, man we dont get a chance to really flirt around, mess around, go do things and really have fun together, wich is really enjoyable, i have loved all the times we have gotten to go and do something together and really have fun, but yeah, plus it will also give us a chance to finally be able to have some , phyisical pleasure, for once, lol, but yeah, so much to look forward to but i know, there is always a chance stuff could go wrong, parents could act stupid(either of ours) and well that all is possible, but i could take it, and evven all this school pressure blacks us and gives me a head ache, it is ok, because swan makes me happy, and even if i only got to talk to her at school, and saw her only a little bit of time and could not do music with her, and had to keep my hands under controle,lol, i would still stay , because i really love her and just being around her makes me happy, plus she is something i always wanted, a true partner, i mean we could do anything together, i had always wanted someone like that,i didnt have to be in a relationship with them or in love, but just a partner to always be around, and since we are together and in love, it helps that out a lot and i am glad for it, i wish i had more time to talk about it, but i think she gets the idea, i apreciate her so much, i wish to spend all the time i can with her and face anything with her by my side, always

man, this summer, i cant wait, it starts off with the qotsa concert, which will rule then i get to go on several vacations, which should be fun, plus no school, i got all morning to work on my guitar work and then the best part, i get to see swan a lot! we get to work on music, hang out, and well..take care of...buisness,lol, anyway, yeah, so this summer will be sick i cant wait man, swan is so sexy ,damn, i am so lucky to have such a beautiful girl to make love with, damn, anyway well i got like 11 more days of school till summer, an damn having that pressure off will be great, and so much to look forward to, man, well yeah good times

yeah. got my guitar back, now i have like 8 songs to learn for the summer practices with swan, should kick ass, lol, but yeah adn i just got back a bunch of old stuff from my other compter to this one, like the pictures me and swan took together, she looks so good, i cant wait to see her on monday, i hate weekends now because i dont get to see her or talk to her. hope that will chang soon, but for now i wait till monday to see her, one interesting thing to think about, how rare it is to see an actual in love couple in school, like taht works and i real, because we didnt start saying i love you till we knew it was love, other couples just say it because they feel they should, and most only see one part of the person, or they think they are in love to soon, have sex and stuff, and find out they really dont like each other, jsut odd, because me and her it is way different, we from the start felt strong for each other, but didnt call it love till we found out it had to be, and we iver this time have gotten to really know each other, like we have seen many different sides of each other, we have talk on most subjects, we have hung out in school, out of school, we have gotten each other to laugh, we have been serious, we have been playful, we have confronted each other on subjects, we have evn opened up enough to cry together, so we have seen the radical emotions, we have broken up several times and have felt how it was to not be together, and we always seem to jsut come back together, we also had become best friends to each other, and i think that is very helpful, that we really dont need other people around we can keep each other alive, we have gotten to work together in school projects and music, and the list really goes on, i mean we have a lot to experence, like more living together, sleeping together, seeing each other often out side of school, and just talking a lot in person and jsut hanging out(we have but the more we do the better) and well although we have taken eachother to the more passion driven moments and turned on a lot, we stil have to fully make love, which sorta for us has more then just the sex in mind, but the leading up to and the after(really the feeling after) and just sorta the finally giving each other up to each other and sorta making the full connecting, but anyway, although we have not spent these 8 months haveing sex and going on dates as many couples probably would, we have gotten to know and trust each other, which makes all that better, and really, although i would have love to already had sex, lol, it was probably better that we have gotten to take the other steps first, and well i am writing a lot on this but to wrap it up, we are a couple that is a real couple, something you dont find very often in high school, but hey i am glad i have it anyway, moving on man there is a lot of good i have to look forward to this summer, i cant wait, music, vacations, hanging out and most importantly i get to see swan more, good times

man i miss my baby righ now, i really want to talk to her, to help her, today i talked to her about her just stuff on her mind, adn when we were going over her dad i talked to her about her making sure she just doesnt drown herself her to grow numb, but i didnt get to finish all i wanted to say on it and i hope i left it ok, because i want to make sure she knows that she has the ability to survive all that is going on, in her life, and overcome, and although she stumbles from time to time everyone does, and she just need to know how to get up and on her feet and move on, man i wish my baby so much strength, adn if i ever have to help her i am here, by choice, to hold her up and help her over come, man, i really want to talk to her right now, just tto tell her she can do it, she has the strength in her i know it,and i think when she can finally grow from this the lifestyle, she will come out with so much wisdom and be a stronger person, and grow even more mature, adn just a stand out in the young people community, and i want to be by her side, and help her, so when the time comes i will be the one standing next to this real woman, man, i just hope i can talk to her sometime this weekend, but if i dont i will see her on monday, oh i cant wait

man, this is odd, it seems school is almost over, but iam not excited because i got to get my damn grades up, lol, man it bugs me, i could end up just fine, but what if points just dont add up, idk, but i hope i can get them up, then all this worry and rushing will at least have a reward and my sister, God i dont think she has gotten any better, she is still lying, like we let her go on the computer now again for an hour and we could go on and find out she deleted her history, all we tell her is no myspace, and yet i guess she still wants to sneak it on to that, and she probably once again lied about where she went, man, adn aperantly she told the counselor that my mom doesnt try to spend time with her, when she does just my sister would rather just go with her friends, which is not too bad, a lot of kids would say the same, but she doesnt have to lie and then put the blame on my mom who does try, man, she needs help but all in all, come june 7th school ends, pressure is over, and i will forget my sisters crap for that day, because i will get to hang out with my friends, swan, and go to a concert, all in one day, plus then the summer opens up with swan getting off grounding at least enough so we can hang out a bit and get some music time too, a lot so we can finally get started, so this summer should kick ass, i hope to try to spend all the chances i get to hang out with her, so it should all be good, damn i cant wait

you know i was going over how my image has changed as i have gotten to know her, and some is her changing, but just as i have dug deeper into knowing her, like when i first met her, she was a really cool chick, then i got to see her music side when she moved, then she came back and i got with her, and as our relation ship moved on, i grew to love her, and to a level of love like no other, she has impact my life so much, and has given me so much good. i see her in such a deep level, i see her under all the extirior,and i love it, i love her as the person she is, and all this getting deeper has really helped our relationship, i try to let her see as much of me as she can, because i know it is what she wants, and any oprotunity i can to let her know more i try to let her, i like that anyway, for her to really know me too, but man, our relationship is so far, like i cant wait till we can spend more time together because that is how we are going to grow even more, and we havnt even fully exprienced(nice way to put it, lol) ourselves yet, so suprisingly our relationship has a lot more steps to go, and i look forward to those, and not just the sex, because trust me, that will be awsome, but i look forward even more to the after effects, the closer feeling, the come down section where we lay together , sleeping with her and waking up with her, and just spending more time with her in person, because i lover her so much and she is my best friend and i just love being with her, i never get sick of her

socrates!, lol, man so many good ideas from both me and her, i think our styles will be a good combination to make great music. man i cant wait to start working with her, i believe i will also learn a lot and grow from it. lol, she says she is going to play in the back, sorry babe, but you going to be right next to me, your not leaving the stage alone for me,lol, but yeah, our ideas are going to make this one interesting band, and just us alone will be great, i wonder when we get drums how will at add to our creativity, hmm, any way, man i cant wait to play with her