i love haning my baby, swan is just great, period, lol, i love to know our level of trust in each other, she makes me feel so good, i also am glad to knwo that she trusts me enough to want to go to the next step with me, i mean, her first time did not turn out well, but to know i healed her trust made me feel really good, due to the fact i have never gone that far, i have my small deal of worries and nervousness, i mean stuff can go wrong in that situation, and i dont know how i will be, and i just want to do good and for it all to go right for her sort of plesure out of it, i dont worry for me because well i know what she does to me and for me it will probably be pure plesure, but yeah it is mostly just first time nervousness , but really that isnt that big of a thought, and has gone down more due to how we have done in our more physical moments, what i have seem myself do to her so far really boosts my confidence in how it would be in that situation, and well makes me a little eager, and she should get a little confidence boost too, because those times have left me with a good impression, she can do things to me like no other, so whent the time comes i have her, and well when the time comes, when love is made, it should be amazing moving on, lol i have sorta felt her even more then usual lately, because home has be even worse for my baby, i mean i see it in her every morning, i wish something could happen to give her at least a little relief, of make her dad see what he is doing, i dont like seeing my baby like this, with all thats going on for her, my god can someone just give her a break already, oh well, all i can do is make her feel good for the time i am around her, help her all i can, make her feel as happy as i can, oh do i love her smile

man i love it right now because swan and me are like feeling so good together right now, i mean we always do, but now it seems more then ever, i feel so good with her around, and idk like our fire has been hella fueled lately, idk, i love her, like i just feel great with her, no words can explain, and i got to talk to her about all kinds of stuff, it was good times, that conversation just was awsome, going over old feelings, how we have grown, where we are now how we always had a thing for each other, how we got together, how it started to grow, how we got to know each other so well, how our breaks gave us new sight on each other, and how recent event have fueled the strong physical passion for each other as well, idk, she just feels so right, man, not much else to say

i was haveing one of those times i have where i hate my entire guitar set up and peddles and amp and such, and my playing doesnt feel like it is going anywhere, it sucks those times i feel that way,lucky today for somereason i started to get back to normal mindset, and hope it lasts, i feel bad whenever i feel like that, but although there are somethings i could chang about my set up, it is not annoying me anymore today and my playing seems to be alright, lol, idk why i get like that at times, but oh well at least it seems to pass

man this weekend i listened to a lot of them, like more then i have in a wile, man now that is one band that inspires me, just so much that they do leaves me in aw, that is a band that i just could listen to forever, with all the different and great music they have, not to mention jimmy page is just enexplainable, but yeah listening to them this weekend has given me that extra kick in my own music, man, i think i am going to go listen some more

today 7 months ago i actually got with swan, and although a little bump, it has been a long, and a time i would not trade in for anything, probably the best time of my life, swan if your reading this, you have been amazing, i really cant explain the feelings i have had with you well enough, i never thought i would feel like this towards anyone, but to look back at it and see it, it is crazy. you are amazing, you beautiful, a talented musicion, a amazing singer, a best friend, and well the person i fell in love with, and you know to know that you feel just as strongly for me makes me feel great, to know that just as much love is being sent back to me makes me just feel amazing, i have so much trust in you too, and you know i am trying to allow you in , to know all you want about me, but i have never let anyone before, so i am sorry it is so hard to get that information out, because by all means i want you too, only you, but still you, and i am trying to cripple my wall, because i want you to be connected with me as much as possible, both mentally and physically, because even though you dont see it in yourself, i find you so amzingly attractive, and well i cant wait to get the chance to fully connect with you, yeah, well thank you for this amazing time swan, i love you

man after reading swans entry throws all kinds of things in her head, i really want to like talk to her without interuptions, like because to start man, teh saterday thing, and well the feelings i gain after it, and were we are at as a couple, as lovers better put, lol, because man, swan, i want to go where i havnt yet, and i want you to do the same. in good time i guess the chance will come i also read the part on how someone asked her to cheat, i am so happy to hear you just blew the guy off, i trust she would anyway, i wonder who asked her to, maby it is best i dont know, i trust her so much, and i knew she would do the right thing in this situation, man a lot has been on her mind lately too, or at least today because of the dream she had, home stuff, stuff with derrick, idk, just simply crazy stuff, idk, i hope her mind can clear up, maby i can help that, lol, idk, well i sit here waiting for tomarrow, so i can see her again, and i get to have her for a class too so that will kick ass

well yesterday was the first day i was back to school being with swan, and man did it feel great, i missed walking with her to her classes, kissing her inbetween, adn holding her durring breaks, writing letters to her, and well kissing her goodbye. it was great for me, although a lot was on her mind, i hope i was able to make her feel better, thats what i want to do, be with her and maker her feel better, i trust this time we will last, but i got to make her feel good to be with me and even be and escape at times, from that bullshit she deal with at home, she doesnt even know how good she makes me feel when she is with me, she doesnt know how she does it but she does, and i really want this time to stay with her, because i love her so much, i just want to talk to her about it all ,maby over the phone, make her feel better, swan if your reading this, i love you, thank you for getting back with me,

i am serious those songs are so terrible, like iwould listen to just about any music above it, and my sister is like playing it all the time, grrr, and the songs are so demoralizing, like worse then just about any other type of music has put out, idk, just buggs me, like somtimes it isnt so bad, but well most the time i want to sab my ears listening to it, my sister needs to move on from it already , lol

well me and swan are back together, and yesterday me and her had quite the day, it was crazy, because this time it is not as much the hole physical part that happend before as what is stuck on my mind, but when we were laying on the floor, the peace i felt with her was amazing, she was all that was on my mind and i was all on hers and it was perfect, what a way to start off the relationship again, and i hope this time it is to last, i love her so much, and i hope so much good for her, i just cant wait to see her in the morning, and brighten up my and her day again, just like i dont know how i do so much for her, she doesnt even know how much she does for me, man, i love her, no other way to explain it