i got this note fromthe office from my mom and it says for me to come straight home.....why? is she mad? is she angery? did i do something and not realize it? is someone coming? .......i am stressing out... my friend Chris says not to think about it or stress about it because theres no reason to til i know whats up but i can't help but think about it and my mind isn't relenting and my stomach feels all topsy turvy and quesy because of my stressing out silently yo myself. Crap!! IS something happening ? once before when mom had done something sorta like this that same day my gma died ..... i hope its not bad news that would suck. did i do something wrong? then if so what did i do? Is she really mad orangery? How much am i in trouble for this something if there is a something? is this ....these feeling i am feeling known as a panic attack? ..... oh man........Smeg i hate when stuff like this happens... it makes me all panicy and afraid of some unknown for no apparent reason......ahhhh!i ahte this so much but i have to go home ...... i hope things are alright.

I want to cry...........my ex-boyfriend wants to hang out with me ...as he put it "alone". I don't want to do anything stupid. he is dating someone and supposedly may be dating another girl to and i don't want to be "just another play toy or girl" i want to talk to him as a friend and i have told him so and have showed him so as well yet he doesn't seem to get the hint.......................................... .................................................................... ................................................................. i am so tired of him trying to push me into something i don't want to do......... he only wants to talk to me when he wants something... like to ang out alone and when i had dated him to make out! i am not dating him now and he doesn't seem to get the hint!!!!! ........*cry*................i don't know what to do any more!!!! i really just want to hug my knees to my chest and rock back and forth and cry..... i really do...... *sigh*

i look at this ournal and see the twisty words i placed there all the feeling so very apparent and its stingy. life is cool now. for me at least. the idiotic stpidity of teeenage drama is pointless and boring now. My oldest brother is going through a divorce because of his moronic wife and she has the kids which is frustraing he better fight for the kids for all he is worth darn him and not just lay back as if he is already beat. he may not have the trick with words but i do and i will fight by his side giving him the words every step of the way if he'll fight. my neice and nephews are in for a bumpy ride like every other divorced child in the world their in for a dumpy ride i just hope things come out all right.

Some thing doesn't feel right. like something important is out of place or missing. i can't explain how i know it is just something that i feel. i had this feel ing the day my Grandma died. what is wrong? or out of place i wonder hoo\pe to find out soon ...... hope it isn't bad as well.

sometimes i want to scream but have no reason. sometimes i want to cry but have no excuse. SometimesI want to yell at everyone just for a moment alone but no one will listen this is the life of most everyone who wish's to know or understand.

I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Friend with Cancer is doing great finally and that takes a lot of stress off of me!!!! i am so happy he even talked his dad into driving him to my school just for him to prove to me he was okay. *sighs* i am so happy and content now!!!!

I wanna cry!!!! My friend not only has cancer but he now has brain tumors to go along with it! I wanna cry! i hate feeling so helpless. If anything happened tohimi .................i don't know . Any one wants to talk i answer at : Pillar "echelon"

My friend has cancer!!!!!! I am so scared for him ! He's my best friend and now he's sick and i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Scared! Please God Help!!!!! --Annoyance

I am so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hurt a friend on purpose all because she hurt me! i know it wasn't right but i did it out of pain andmy tonque doesn't like to be nice when i amin pain.....................may be i can stillfix this...........i am gonna go try.

Funny how some kids say that there christain but either don't act like one and sswear in the lords name or not read there bible and do exactly what they know they shouldn't. Funy how muchpeople can hide behind a smile.