I recently discovered this song... called "Throw Me A Rope" By KT Tunstall. It describes how I feel right now, about a certain young AMAZING gentleman named Nate Wine... who is far away at Mary Washington. Take a look at the lyrics: I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you But everything here is telling me I should be fine So why is it so, above as below, That I'm missing you every time I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening We followed the sun and its colours and left this world It seems to me that I'm definitely Hearing the best that I've heard So throw me a rope to hold me in place Show me a clock for counting my days down Cause everything's easier when you're beside me Come back and find me Cause I feel alone And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do Oh but I've got to be unconditionally Unafraid of my days without you So throw me a rope to hold me in place Show me a clock for counting my days down Cause everything's easier when you're beside me Come back and find me Whenever I'm falling you're always behind me Come back and find me Cause everything's easier when you're beside me Come back and find me Cause I feel alone I miss music. I miss singing.

Some things never change-- like my LOVE for Regina Spektor! Yeah, so it's been like... a bajillion and three years since I wrote on this thing, and I read some of the things I'd written before, and I just want to say, isn't it great being young? You make such a big deal out of things-- and you're so happy all the time-- especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Ah, young and in love. Yeah right. I've given up on guys, despite the fact that I like a certain gentleman that I've decided is unattainable and i should just join the convent now and get it over with. haha, only kidding...slightly. while i have given up on guys, i enjoy flirting harmlessly-- it just sucks when some minor mutual flirting turns into liking on one side and not the other. yeah.... but yeah. i was so young when i wrote all of these things. it was so cute how happy i was about the cards being over .500. I mean, don't get me wrong, that's great... for the cards, but now they've made it to the EFFING SUPERBOWL!!!!! how great is that? i mean really, granted, we probably will end up getting our butts kicked, but we've finally made it. I'm ecstatic, but at the same time, i absolutely dread the actual game. I've been praying and praying for a win, but... i do realize the chances are slim. But yeah... I've got a major major case of senior-itis. I really don't care about much of anything anymore. it's kinda scary. the one exception being... of course my Cards!!!! you should see my at one point bare cardinals corner. i bought so much more cardinal stuff this year, it was ridiculous-- like my "lucky" shirt. but yeah... i doubt i'll write in this for another year, but you never know! peace!

The song I'm currently hooked on, by Regina Spektor! That woman is fricknaig amnazing! (if only if only) My iPod froze and I dunno how to fix it, so I'm kinda freaking out! I'm hoping to let it die... and then when I charge it again, it'll be all good, but it's never done this so yeah, I'm nervous. I'll freaking die without my iPod.

Gorgeous song! But... soo so so so much has happened since I wrote in this journal... I've missed this website, I should go on it more often, especially since it isn't blocked at school. But yeah, here's a refresher course... Clinton + Michelle = no more. She broke up with him a little over a month ago.. and he still likes her and she still kinda likes him, but it ain't happening... just go with me on that one... Michelle likes many boys-- she truly is polyamorous... even thought htat was a joke about my many celebrity or half-celebrity (i.e. Matt Cassel) loves. SHe likes... both of a set of twins... well she liked one... and then she asked someone to talk to him for her... and... that didn't go so well, and he's got a girlfriend now. The other one flirted with me all the time, and I just like to flirt, but I kinda like him now... THen there's Eric. Jose is driving me freaking insane asking mme to talk to him and he's all like, I'll talk to him for you, and all this annoyingness. But... I dunno, even though I do like Eric like that... I'm about, oh 110% sure he doesn't like me, and besides, it'd be a really weird couple.. like really weird. I dunno, I'm going to bring it up with my bff and relationship guru (oh man, if only you know the irony) Matt, who I am now the president of his fan club, which is exciting. I'm on a branching out kick, so I downloaded some old songs I liked... and... I dunno... I'm just not afraid to download new songs Oh, Sunday I hung out with my church friends, and I love how we're all tight after going to "jesus camp" together... ti's pretty sweet. We went out to eat and then went to see Jumper, which really sucked but that's okay. How come Kristy and I are always the only girls? I really need to get " Jenn" as Kelley calls her, to come with us one time. Uh, yeah, that's all for now TTFN!

This is such a screwed up song. It's all... produced and... just.. icky, but that's what I'm listening to. Well, it's over now, and now it's Drive, which I like. But yeah, Yesterday, I left out some minor deals about yesterday. We talked at Meadow Farm for a while, and just walked around, and I swear, he's gotta be the sweetest guy ever, and I love love love love his eyes, I could like... stare into them forever. I don't relaly know why, but... agh!!! And, I dunno, I just feel happy around him, I think I'm starting to get spoiled, because when I'm not around him, I htink about him... and I need a life. But he went to the fair on Sunday, and he won a game (throwing darts at a balloon, fyi) and he picked me out a stuffed animal. He picked Pooh, and he was like... it's as close to Disney as I could get, and I lvoe love it. I think it's so sweet that he tried to pick Disney for me. *blush* He also invited me to this party with him after work on Saturday, but I'm almost positive my parents won't let me go, because I won't know anyone there but him, and they don't even know him well or anything. But... mom didn't say no right away, so that's good, even though it gives me false hope. Do you think it's too soon for me to move on from Scott? I mean, he broke up with me less than a week ago and I'm already Crazy about another guy, but I mean, I liked Clinton even when we were going out, and I was thinking about breaking up with Scott for him, but Scott broke up with me, so it wasn't an issue. I still like Scott... but I'm absolutely enamored over Clinton. It's really annoying how Scott just like.. won't talk to me. Like.. we completely avoid each other at lunch and stuff like that.. He just refuses to talk to me. Morgan and Bailey just found out today that he broke up with me! I hope they don't bug him to death, I just assumed they knew. But yeah, it still makes me sad, because I've never been broken up with before, and let's say it's not a great feeling. I mean.. it's like you're not worthy of this person, which is the way I feel when I start like... going places with someone, because... if I really like them, then I don't think I deserve them, but.... I was sort of beginning to be more comfortable and confident in my shoes, and then all my progress was destroyed... I dunno... I think being broken up with sucks. I now really understand about Brittany. Her situation was bad when her and Mike broke up. She'd liked him for a really long time, and she got a little taste of it over Spring Trip, and a few days when we came back, but then... he broke it off, for reasons she didn't understand. She didn't really and truly get over it till just recently, and (well, being a sap is totally and completely part of it!) she's still touchy about the subject. Like at lunch today, Joe was "prophesizing" that Mike and Brittany would like... get married and all this stuff, and she got really flustered, which is the absolute worst thing to do! She should just brush it off... but... she didn't... oh well, I told her that after lunch, and she was like... yeah.. I should have, but it's not easy... but yeah. We're supposed to teach tomorrow, and we don't have a lesson plan at all... and I need to cram for my English test, and read some stories I never read... I miss Regina Spektor, but my parents hate the CD, so I'm not supposed to play it but so much, especially since I'm trying to suck up so I can go to that party with Clinton.

Wow.... a ridiculous amount of stuff has happened since I last wrote in this... so I'll give ya the important highlights. 3-2 = the CARDINALS RECORD! I'm ridiculously excited, like, youhave NO freaking idea. Uh... remember Scott? He and I are no more. He broke up with me on the 3rd of October ( a week from tomorrow) and yeah, I was kind of upset, but I'm getting over it... and Yeah.... I don't know if I ever mentioned Clinton in here... but he's this guy at work, that liked me, but I obviously had a boyfriend, but since I don't-- he's fair game, and I really really really like him.. So this weekend was massively fantastical. Friday ngiht I worked, and I like work, even though I didn't have many friends who were working, so I mostly chilled with Ellen. Saturday-- I went to Boydton with teh fam for stew weekend. the stew was delicious beyond all belief, and it's yum. Yeah, so that was fun. And then I listened to the UVA-MTSU game... and we BARELY won! Sunday- Josh, Jacob, and Jase came over for the usual. THen I had SUnday School, which was fine. I got to see some people (i.e. Daniel) who I haven't seen in a while. Monday- Beautiful, but really hot outside. I talked to Clinton on the phone for an hour or so... and talked to Jacob for an hour or so... watched some TV, and then went to the Park with Clinton. it was fun. he's adorable. THen... we both had to get ready for work, so... I went back home, got ready, and saw him at work. He's... !!! Yeah... so that's the main highlights-- I'll try to keep this up more, but it probablyu won't happen!

haha, at least I'm not listening to ghetto music-- yay! Okay, I really donm't have much to say except I wanted to document yesterday, because it had to be one of the best days ever!!!! So in the morning, I did my usual Fresh Prince and latch hook and all that fun stuff. And then Brittany's dad came to pick me up for Extreme Days, and Chanel was in the car. She is sooo cute! But yeah, we got to Extreme days and Mike had mountain dew... haha, that was fun. Speaking of which, today I have to make sure I remember to bring Pixie Stix. But yeah, Extreme Days was fun, but then I got home nad Jacob was there! Jacob had originally come over to play with my brother, but... that didn't happen. Timmy went upstairs and was anti-social with his friend that HE invited (I don't understand that!) Jacob and I started talking High School Musical, and ew decided we should do personal interviews... so Jacob interviewed me and I gotta tell you... I'm blonde as all getout. And then we got distracted and startied listening to Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus (and joking about how that makes absolutely NO sense!!!) But then we did Jacob's interview and tried to pcik a date to do the rest of the HSM 2. We picked one day... and it didn't work out, so our new tenative date is August 3. I'm sooo excited! Then we decided we needed a new answering machine message... because Jacob's mom came over one time instead of just calling because my mom's answering machine message said we were having technical difficulties with our phone, which isn't true, we just have it jerry-rigged. But yeah, we "wrtoe a song" to the tune of Nobody's Perfect! It was sooo funny. I haven't heard anyone hear it yet... I can't wait! I'll write our lyrics... but we had to shorten it...but I'll write what we had... Nobody's Perfect Especially not us And we cannot pick up the phone right now So leave us a message After the beep And we'll get back to you sometime Nobody's here now Nobody's....here now Leave us a message! haha, it was so much fun. if timmy changes it, I think I'll kill him. But yeah... then we tried to get a Harry Potter dueling scene filmed beteween Jacob and Timmy..but i screwed up the camera-ing But then we went to go play DDR, but Timmy lost his game... haha he's so organized. But then Jacob had to go home...but I called him like an hour later, and asked him if he wantd to go to the library with me to make duct tape wallets. We got there... and we didn't see anyone. So I made Jacob ask... and it turns out it was tomorrow... haha, I felt soooo stupid. But then we went and called my mom on the payphone, and she turned around... While we were waiting for her... we went back in the library and wanted to use the computer...but they were all taken up. So, we found ourselves looking at and making fun of romance novel titles...haha Let's see which ones I remember Her Real Father Temptation A High Heeled Alibi Evidence of Marriage Girls' Poker Night There were others, but I don't remember... and hten i wanted to check out a book. so... I went to the catalog computer and figured out the author. But yeah... my mom came and drove us back to jacobs, and Leslie was like... that's what I do. You must be related to me when we told her about the wrong day thing.. and then Jacob came back over here, and we listened to What Time is It? Like 10 times... and we tried to makep pots with the pottery wheel I've had for AGES, but hte clay was really hard.. After like 15 minutes we had a tiny bit of workable clay, so we decided to paint our rocks instead... We made Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and hufflepuff rocks... haha, it was tons of fun!

Haha, I always journal while listening to music that's a lot less white than myself =P... to put that interestingly.. But yeah, guess what? I have a boyfriend. Yep,, believe it or not, Scott asked me out. We went to Kings Dominion on Friday... and it was me, him, Mark, and Kerri... I love Kerri, but anyways, Kerri wanted to ride the Shockwave, and Mark with went her, and he asked me out... =) I'm so happy.. But yeah he left me! hahaha, it's not his fault, I'm just being lame (as always)! He's in Alaska... and I was going to stow away in his stuff... but... I realized I wouldn't pass security at the airlines. So yeah, I'm here... and he's there... I hope he's having an awesome time... But yeah that's all I realy have to say... besides the fact that I'm REALLY REALLY bored.. Oh, wait, one more thing-- Okay, so Mat Kearney FINALLY made a 20, granted, he was only 19...but he was on one... and Priestly called him Mat (I'm going to spell it the way he pronounced it) Keerney. I was soooo upset! It's Kearney (as in Carney)!!! AGHHH!! Yeah, but anyways, that's all!

Okay... so I haven't journaled since the Friday last day of school debacle.. Well, it wasn't really a "debacle" but I just like that word. ;-) Okay, so that day I lied to my parents and told them I was riding the bus home with Brittany like I did last year- and we'd hang out at her house... but I really went to school and met up with Mike, Scott, and Brittany, and we walked to the movie theater... and all kinds of other places.... and it was sooo much fun-- until I had to tell my parents. But it's all good. I have limited time on AIM and extra chores... for I dunno how long-- everyone (well, all 2 friends of mine) keeps asking me that question, and I really dunno. But anyways, I really like Scott... like... a lot. He's amazing. And I'm going to Boydton today! Yay! I dunno how much time we'll end up spending at the lake or wherever, but it doesn't really matter-- I really just like that town... I'd so marry it if that were possible. Daughtry's Home is #1 on the 20 right now... I'm so sick of that song... it's been wayyy too overplayed, and it's a song with a pretty short shelf life anyway, like most American Idol stuff. But yeah, this past week has been soooooooooooooooooooooooo times a million BORING! I have done nothing-- but I did get a little of my French project done-- I spent hours, and when I told my mom, she was like, so you're half-way done? and I was like... are you freaking kidding me? I'm not quite a quarter of the way done... but it's still June... I have alll kinds of time. -- haha like that commercial... good times.. PLAYOFFS?!?!?! I think I'll bring my French Project toBoydton and work on it in the car... I hope someone's in the mood to play the game in the car.. because I'm ready to beast someone! =P I need to get my books for summer reading. And I should do my math project thingy while I still remember how to do math-- kinda. And I still have that ginormous history stuff to do... Man, they gave lots of summer work this year. I'm not too worried about getting any of the reading done-- my mom says she's gonna make us read for thirty minutes a day--and actually I'm really glad... that'll force me to do some of my homework, or at least pleasure read, and not spend soo much time on the internet... So Ashley and Chad? Long tme, no more... get with the program-- It's allll Ashley and Royce now... I mean, she's all talking baout how he's perfect, and lalala, when she told me similar things about Jake and Chad... I wonder how long this one'll last-- hopefully more than six days, because Royce is actually sorta my friend.

Okay-- Nothing's happened since I lasted journaled, but I felt like making a journal. So Ashley and Royce went out last night-- and she had a really good time, and I'm reall glad for her, but she's startring to get on my nerves just a little. Don't get me wrong-- I love the girl to death, but I get so annoyed with her and her various guys. I mean, can anyone really be that fast getting over someone who they said they liked a lot, and then have the nerve to put something about another guy in her profile not even a week after a guy breaks up with her. It's not like this is the first time it happened. When Jake and her broke up, she like, practically ran straight to chad. And they went out for all of 6 days, and now that he broke up with her, she's now all about Royce. Things aren'ts upposed to happen that fast-- there's supposed to be some downtime, you know? She's gone through three guys before I've even gotten asked out by the one. Not that I'm complaining, I don't wnat to go fast through guys and stuff like her, besides, I like where I am. It's the weekend. Woo-hoo! I have nothing planned, because my mom shut down my hopes of sleeping over at Brittany's house,a nd work shut downthe whole Sunday ahng out all day thing... so... that sucks. The top 20 countdown will be on soon and I don't have anything else to write so I'll stop Just one week left-- and it's only exams!!!! YAY summer!