It's good to be needed. To feel that you make a profound difference in someones' life. Sometimes, even the simplest little things make a matter. In a moment, you touch someone elses' life, and superimpose a grand goodness with actions born of the desire to do something decent and good. There are moments in my life where I find that all I really want to be able to touch something beautiful without ruining it.

And here we are, almost the end of August. School's soon: not for me, but my Boy (yay!!!). Summer is no kind of break for the single parent, let me tell you. So much to do, and nowhere near enough time to do it all in. over 330 entires to date here: there is so much music out there to bring in here. Not posting in the forum like I thought I might be: I think September will be my return to Palladium. I will not however be leaving this board altogether: I will always need song lyrics, and I enjoy posting them when I can. Kvetched about my mother on Live Journal, so no need to do it moreso here. Time to add music to the PC at work. Need to stop thinking about unresolved tensions. Damn the flu virus anyway.

Bought my first album from Amazon.com today. Sigue Sigue Sputnik: Flaunt It. More will undoubtably follow, as money becomes available. I made a nice, juicy Live Journal entry: what was I thinking? Started off late today: up late with a sick household. Bother. Posted over 300 song lyrics: Feeling Achieving.

Wow, it's amazing how the day can get away from you. Saturday buzzed right by me like a flash: then it was Saturday night, which was all I hoped for, and then it was Sunday, which started good and ended not good. Then it got to be Monday, which was inevitable, and here I am. Oh, if only I could elaborate, and provide details of Saturday: I really should find some forum to do so, because there were moments both Friday Night and Saturday day that I would see immortalized. The Echo & The Bunnymen songs "The Killing Moon", and "Lips Like Sugar", as well as the word "intense" could all vie to best sum up the moment. Sunday on the other hand was more of a Dark Moment: More Morrisey or The Smiths type of evening. I went with music of a much greater charge of angry energy. When I am in melancholy, I am in doubt, which I hate. When I am angry, I am on much more familiar territory. I might not like myself when the rage is upon me, but I know it ofr what it is: it is raw, primal, honest, and sometimes that is exactly what I want. In any event, I have been surprised more and more of late, so let us see what the evening brings tonight. Oops, there I go with the high expectations.

Yesterday, I thought I would bust my concrete tile with my fist. I did not. In part I was afraid of breaking my hand. So, last night, instead, I used an Axe Kick, and went right through the thing. >Blast!< My heel is sore today, but, I can live with that. I'll have to get a couple more tiles from Home Depot: I want to do that again, maybe this time with witnesses. I'll have to put some effort into conditioning my hand: I really would like to do it with a punch, but I was glad to be able to do it with the kick. I may give some thought to the elbow as well. I may be able to stay on track for the weekend: we'll see. At the least, I should make a Saturday entry, and we'll see about Sunday.

Regrettably, I missed making an entry yesterday. I did keep up my Live Journal, but that's not the same as here, really. After getting home, I was so charged up, I had to turn on the stereo really loudly, and pull my weapons out. Working out to KMFDM, Marz, Gary Numan, and others while working the Chinese Tornado Broadsword, the paired Hook Swords, or simply throwing spinning heel kicks to get the mechanics right. Then, it was off to new comics, then Futurama and Family Guy, then the internet (I have no real excuse for not making an entry here yesterday), Bed by 01:00 or so, and here I am: repeat procedure. I love Oriental Martial Arts weapons. I hope to get back an appreciable level of practice and skill with them in time.

Good Morning. As per usual, my evening was a strange one, but not unpleasant for that. I found myself rediscovering my love for such bands as Love & Rockets, Jerry Harrison, Happyhead, Joy Division, and Soft Cell. Also found some appropos moments for Lords of Acid. Said much of what I wanted to say at Live Journal, but I enjoy keeping this log as well. I do not in fact hate the French. Any assertation to the contrary is wild and inaccurate. There's nothing wrong with the cheese-eating surrender monkies. Friendship: Wyatt Earp and John "Doc" Holiday were friends. They killed men for each other. Ladies, remember that the next time you pull the line "I just want to be friends". Dogs are the coolest pets you can have, but there is something to say for turtles. They are easier to handle than cats, and will cuddle for body heat (as best they are able).

Okay, I do not feel like a super-hero today. I did in fact keep the promise 'til the vow got broke, ala Warren Zevon. However, I did keep from breaking a bigger promise. I kept asking questions and getting answers that surprised me, because I thought I knew the answers already. I did not quit smoking (yet) and in an hour and a half, I'll be indulging once more. I don't know what is more difficult: Keeping up with the world as it moves forward, or catching up to after it has already done so.

Unusual: I am making an entry on a Sunday. Equally surprising: The Palladium Message Board posters are actually wondering where I went: I hadn't made a post since mid-July. Since I am the #9 poster, with over 21,000 posts to my credit, it is unusual for me to be so absent. Blame it on a shift in my interests. Blame it on a mid-life crisis. Blame it on an interest I have no business having. Live Journal is about to yield something interesting: a new person with an interest in my identity. God, I almost feel like a super-hero.

I want to quit smoking. I just haven't gotten to the point of wanting to do so enough to stop currently. Dramaramas' Last Cigarette is hovering in my brain at the moment. Taught my roommate how to play Blast Billiards. This may seem insignificant, but there is in fact a significance that I may choose to reveal at a later time.