I bought the Century Child album today, and Tuomas Holopainen's lyrics made me very emotional. I heard that after one album the band were very concerned for his wellbeing, and I believe it must have been this album. In his thankyou section in the lyrics booklet he adds "Again, I wish my dearest sympathy & love for every Ocean Soul on this earth" I found that single line in the back of the lyrics book very moving. ---------------------------------------------------- One more night To bear this nightmare What more do I have to say Crying for me was never worth a tear My lonely soul is only filled with fear Long hours of loneliness Between me and the sea Losing emotion Finding devotion Should I dress in white and search the sea As I always wished to be - one with the waves Ocean Soul Walking the tideline I hear your name Is angels wispering Something so beautiful it hurts I only wished to become something beautiful Through my music, through my silent devotion -------------------------------------------------------- There is little more I can say about this, apparently this is such a personal song to Tuomas that the band never sing it live. I can see why. The song to me is a silent testament to love unfulfilled and the punishment bourne upon the soul for not fulfilling it. About eternal devotion in a futile existance.

Fare thee well, little broken heart Downcast eyes, lifetime loneliness Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone Constant longing for the perfect soul Unwashed scenery forever gone No love left in me No eyes to see the heaven beside me My time is yet to come So I'll be forever yours ------------------------------------------------------ This is another song that I've found that the lyrics reverberate within me. "Downcast eyes, lifetime loneliness"... I bet a few people know that expression worn on my face all to well. I don't think that expression has every truly been seen by the one I love. perhaps she will see it one day? I doubt it. shadows always retire when the sun returns, for as long as the sun is out When the sun leaves, the shadows return...

Life it seems, will fade away Drifting further every day Getting lost within myself Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free Things are not what they used to be Missing one inside of me Deathly lost, this can't be real Cannot stand this hell I feel Emptiness is filing me To the point of agony Growing darkness taking dawn I was me, but now He's gone No one but me can save myself, but it to late Now I can't think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye ----------------------------------------------------- This is another song that reminds me of university. I didn't really like the song, but it summed up my sentiments... I couldn't get what I wanted out of life and "I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free" ....seemed to be the thoughts running through my head on a daily basis, along with the name of my love, though at the time she didn't even know my feelings... I procrastinated so long it took until uni for her to find out... "Emptiness is filing me To the point of agony" Describes that horrible collapsing feeling I described in the "The Unnamed Feeling" entry. I can rememver vividly sitting in my rooms at university with tears welling up in my eyes listening to this song wishing for the curtain to lower, for the play to end. Those were sad, lonely times and I'm glad I don't often return to that place, that sentiment.

Been here before Been here before couldn't say I liked it Do I start writing all this down? Just let me plug you into my world Can't you help me be uncrazy? Name this for me, heat the cold air Take the chill off of my life And if I could I'd turn my eyes To look inside to see what's comin' It comes alive And I die a little more It comes alive Each momnent here I die a little more Then the unnamed feeling It comes alive Then the unnamed feeling Takes me away I'm frantic in your soothing arms I can not sleep in this down filled world I've found safety in this loneliness But I cannot stand it anymore Cross my heart and hope not to die Swallow evil, ride the sky Lose myself in a crowded room You fool, you fool, it will be here soon It comes alive And I die a little more It comes alive Each moment here I die a little more Then the unnamed feeling It comes alive Then the unnamed feeling Treats me this way And I wait for this train Toes over the line And then the unnamed feeling Takes me away Get the fuck out of here I just wanna get the fuck away from me I rage, I glaze, I hurt, I hate It hate it all, why? Why? Why me? I cannot sleep wth a head like this I wanna cry, I wanna scream I rage, I glaze, I hurt, I hate I wanna hate it all away ---------------------------------------------------- I think this song will allways remind me of my time at uni, stuck in my room, hating everything and everyone outside of those walls, but wishing I had someone to take away the sinking emptiness that sometimes gripped me. That feeling where it seems your chest is caving in from the inside, as if you are deflating. I felt like the more I let anger and jealousy toward the world in general consume me, the more I seemed to be turning into a monster. It scared me immensely that I felt as despicable as those I hated. I felt like I was waiting for me to do something I'd regret... Thankfully I strive to hold those sentiments back, and try to accept my lot and not blame others for it, but at the time I felt like I was waiting for a monster to be born from my own darkness. Thankfully I think I'm too inhibited to try to hurt anyone, and I'm no longer slipping. Now I just feel emptiness, which is what most of the songs I've picked seem to represent... Thanksfully this one is from desperation that has mostly passed. For that I am truly grateful.

And it feels right this time On this crash course we're in the big time Pay no mind to the distant thunder Beauty fills his head with wonder, boy.... Says it feels right this time Turn around, found new high lights Good day to be alive Sir Good day to be alive, he said..... Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a freight train coming your way Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just the freight train coming your way Don't it feel right like this All the pieces fall to his wish Suck up for that quick reward boy Suck up for that quick reward they said..... Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a freight train coming your way Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just the freight train coming your way...... It's coming your way It's coming your way...... Here comes Yeah, Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel Is just a freight train coming your way.... Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah... Then it comes to be, Yeah ----------------------------------------------------- ...After my crush at school I thought my feelings for the next person to come along were a change in fortune... When she came back from a skiing trip in a new relationship, my world fell apart into shards of jealousy, anger, sorrow and loss. I was so happy with her I didn't hear the thunder rolling in the distance... It's sad that after all these years I still feel that loss... the anger ebbed into bitterness as it lost it's focus. I feel I didn't use the chance I was given to break out, and that train hit me head-on.

And know I wait my whole lifetime... for you And know I wait my whole lifetime... for you I ride the dirt; I ride the tide... for you I search the outside, search inside... for you To take back what you left me I know I'll always burn to be No one seeks so I may find And now I wait my whole lifetime Outlaw of Torn Outlaw of Torn And I'm Torn So on I wait my whole lifetime... for you So on I wait my whole lifetime... for you The more I search, the more my need... for you The more I bless, the more I bleed... for you You make me smash the clock and feel I'd rather die behind the wheel Time was never on my side So on I wait my whole lifetime Outlaw of Torn Outlaw of Torn Outlaw of Torn And I'm Torn Hear me And if I close my mind in fear Please pry it open See me And if my face becomes sincere Beware Hold me And when I start to come undone Stich me together Save me And when you see me strut Remind me of what left this outlaw Torn Hear me And if I close my mind in fear Please pry it open See me And if my face becomes sincere Beware Hold me And when I start to come undone Stitch me together Save me And when you see me strut Remind me of what left this outlaw Torn ------------------------------------------------------ I prefer the S&M version to this song, but of well... "time was never on my side, so on I wait my whole lifetime"... It's as succinct as it could get.

Leave me alone, it's nothing serious I'll do it myself, it's got nothing to do with you And there's nothing that you can do You can see it and you can almost hear it too You can almost taste it, it's nothing to do with you And there's still nothing that you can do So come in my cave, and I'll burn your hearts away Come in my cave and I'll burn your hearts away Please close your ears and try to look away So you'll never hear a single word I say And don't ever come my way Leave me alone, it's nothing serious I'll do it myself, it's got nothing to do with you And there's still nothing that you can do So come in my cave, and I'll burn your hearts away Come in my cave, and arrest me for my mistakes -------------------------------------------------------- This sounds like me when I withdrew at university, and when I hide away nowadays. I just have to withdraw sometimes, and I guess sometimes people get burned when they try to help me sometimes, but now I seem to avoid that, and I'm more willing to talk. It still doesn't mean I don't want to hide away and sort things out myself though... This is another song I might have to buy.

You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You could be the one I'll always love You could be the one who listens To my deepest inquisitions You could be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken Pieces of the life I had before First there was the one who challenged All my dreams and all my balance She could never be as good as you You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You could be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken Pieces of the life I had before I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken Pieces of the life I had before Before you -------------------------------------------------- These lyrics are really sad... I'll have to buy the song on iTunes sometime... It almost relates tm me, but not quite... The one I love never challenged me, I believe she would never try to, but she just didn't see what she wanted in me... This song sounds like some kind of hope, but I doubt I can fix the mess I'm in, as I don't know if I even want to. Perhaps I am a better testament to my feelings if I remain broken?

there's a part in me you'll never know the only thing I'll never show hopelessly I'll love you endlessly hopelessly I'll give you everything but I won't give you up I won't let you down and I won't leave you falling If the moment ever comes It's plain to see it's trying to speak cherished dreams forever asleep hopelessly I'll love you endlessly hopelessly I'll give you everything but I won't give you up I won't let you down and I won't leave you falling if the moment ever comes hopelessly I'll love you endlessly hopelessly I'll give you everything but I won't give you up I won't let you down and I won't leave you falling but the moment never comes ---------------------------------------------------------- Another song that I believe sums everything up... I don't know how my life will end, but I feel it likely my devotion will still be the same, my unrequited love intact and unblemished, even if every other part of me is battered and broken.

iain, you're a Captain Everywhere! Look! Up in the air! It's a bird, it's a plane — it's you! Cape and all, you're always on call to come to your partner's rescue. And should you need to use them, your super powers can keep your honey in sight and mind. You're living the superhero good life. What could be better than to be so needed? By tapping into your generous nature and dedication to the right relationship, you can handle romance in a single bound. But even super dudes need a boost of self-esteem from time to time. Your intense devotion can be exhausting. Maybe you need a break from the regular routine. Because it always comes down to this: When you take care of yourself first, only then can you be truly good to your partner. "Intense devotion" I could not have put it better myself. Shame my dearest love is my Kryptonite.