i dont know. i think i can. hahahaa. i thought about it. how lovely it would be. i still think of you. but hey, i always have to remember, you dont think of me. that somehow, gets me through my days. i still love you. no matter what. but its time, i love myself. =)) take care.

this is just an entry about my observation and thoughts. i think that girls with boyfrens must only lay their hands on their boyfrens. and yes, that is all im saying. i dont care if you have ten and thousands of guy frens. whos stopping you? but, i think theres suppose to be this limit. this urm, limit. yeah. the degree of closeness to other guys much be relatively MUCH lesser than with your boyfren. if you are almost as close, then urm, whats the point? yes, i have a thing against Y and E. bah. just a tiny thing. and i dont really fancy D, yes, i lied to Ms P to her face. actually, to her computer. hah. whatever.

i think someday we should list down all the things we hate about each other. then list another about what we love/like. i think this is a crazy idea. cos it will be painful. ouch ouch. just ouch. god, i just want to hold your hands. hah. bla bla.

you know, i hate you when you do that. and i think you know. but you just wanna go on doing it. i hate you when you do that. i hate you. oh, who am i kidding? i love you. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

so you finally called. i knew it. i knew it. you would make your come back. you hadnt need to call. you did. you knew it. you knew i would be going crazy. you knew it. i was soothed. i was, my dear. i was. i still yearn for you.

"Sometimes I can hardly speak when I see you Can you tell Do you notice all the little things that I see but don't tell When asleep you're in my dreams When I wake I think of you I need to find a way to tell you How I feel" tex la homa - my new man. hah.

hey maybe i can get over you. maybe not over you. but over you. hah. i dont know. ill get over it. ill be fine. it will hurt and not be easy. but hey, anything to get some peace. i deserve some love. some warmth. right now, i dont really care who i get it from. okay, that was very whore worthy. bah.

what craziness? my heart still skips a beat for you. hahahaa. you know, like that song by Vertical Horizon. you say all the right things. at exactly the right time. but you mean nothing to me, and i really dont know why. you are beautiful. you are. =)) i remember exactly what i told you back then. when i said that he was important to me. maybe its true, i couldnt let go of him even when i was with you. hah. i am sorry for putting you through all that. i am. maybe this is my payback for doing all the things i did to you. it must have hurt to see me with him. like how hurting it is to see him with anyone else. well, i wish you love. loads of it. love that i never gave you. love that i might never get from him.

if i were to count the moments where this high spirits fall flat so fast into deep pits, i would have lost count. if you only know how much hurt you have given me. yet, i still adore you. yet, i still love you. yet, i still yearn for you. couldnt you be more right? more perfect? maybe then, i might just start to hate you. maybe then, i would just get over you. maybe then, i could sleep tonight. maybe then, i would be fine. just fine.

what a silly song Ms P asked me to download. hah. okay it is not silly. but god, i feel shitty. but yeah, for what its worth, i love you. and what is worse? i really do.