I find it amusing that Jagermeister has "please drink responsibly" on the bottle. I’m drinking Jagermeister; I have obviously given up all fucking hope of being responsible tonight.
Cupid is kind of an asshole. He could easily make a liquid love potion, or pixie dust, but no. He's going to hunt you down with his fucking crossbow.
Spare me your lingo, Doc. I know what "slight discomfort" means. It will hurt like a motherfuck.
Why do we assume old people are decent people? Douchebags grow old too.
There are couch naps and bed naps. Bed naps are serious.
It's too bad that being rude and being honest are usually one in the same.
Someone just asked me if they could have a cigarette. I gave him one and he replied "Thanks man, You're a lifesaver." Don't be so grateful. I'm positive in this situation I'm the exact opposite.
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