• so like...idk. it's been awhile since i've last submitted one of these. me and luis went hang out with bryan at danyelle's house. dani was at her retreat. we went pick her up at church after it was over. good fun good fun. only bryan keeps pissing me off cause he is such an asshole to danyelle sometimes. i was checking my myspace today and i had a couple of messages from fish. god. he is worrying me so bad lately. like he always sounds so depressed and he keeps saying he just needs someone to talk to and stuff is just all fucked up and when i ask him what's wrong he's just all like just stuff and then he'll just not message me for a month or two and then blam. he'll message again sounding all depressed. it's crazy. but today i read one of his messages and he was all like you know how i felt about you right and he said he didn't want to start anything he just wanted to know some stuff. and i'm like god. i do not freaking need that right now cause me and luis and doing really good and grr. then i feel all selfish cause fish sounds like he's about to freaking kill himself or something and i don't even know his number to call him to tell him not to. ok. wow. that came out sounding really...idk. it's just been bugging me a lot lately. that and i was so depressed the other night. not even sure why. it hasn't been that bad since that summer. i couldn't sleep for hours, i just keep tossing and turning and randomly changing the song on my mp3 player. nothing was helping...not Hurt, not AFI, not my musical songs, not Nat King Cole, not Earth Wind and Fire...wow. you know it's bad when not even Nat King Cole can cheer me up. or Hurt. they even made me feel better that summer. argh. i hate this. i'm not even sure what 'this' is. (lol, ambiguous pronoun reference!) but whatever. i had fun last night. so...it's whatever. wow. i was just thinking...i haven't talked to the mother in over a week. craazay. i ought to call her or something. i wish the father would start picking up the phone. or get me a cell. and a car. ha ha. yeah right. i hate driving anyway. drove yesterday and still hate it. big ole damn rustmobile i have to drive. got i hate that thing. but no...the father's all like it'll make you more cautious and if you learn to drive that then you can drive a car really easy. grr. at least it's not a stick. :P

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