• alright so i love writing. obviously.  and sometimes i write stories but i was sitting in english class one day right after finishing the truth about forever by sarah dessen and this alternate ending just came to me.  its very depressing so just a heads up.  i'm not a good writer by any means but i just liked the idea so here it is.  enjoy.

              The waves crashed around me, pulsing in my head.  Louder, please be louder.  I need to deafen my thoughts.  But the truth was there was nothing loud enough that could drown out the crying screams of my mind.

              It was as if the carpet was ripped out right from underneath my feet.  Nothing around me felt real anymore and more than anything, I wanted it all to be over.  Everything.  Everything that ever had to do with me, or my family, or my dad, or Wes, I wish it was gone.  Even though the feeling shouldn’t feel so foreign, it feels just as horrible, if not worse than the last time.

              Wes was dead.  And this time, I was there when it happened.  I made sure, damnit, that I wouldn’t let another loved one leave without me.  I was with him.  I did what I was supposed to do.  So why did the car hit his side and not mine?  Why did he get pinned in the car while I had minor whiplash?  He was so lively, so deserving of life.  Not me.  People loved Wes.  They needed him around, they liked having him around.  I, however, wasn’t as important.  It should have been me driving.  It should have.  But it wasn’t and that’s what’s killing me.  But, even this time, I didn’t cry.  I had Bert, Delia, Monica, and Katrina crying.  They didn’t need me.  So, like always, Macy Queen sat there motionless, as I watched my boyfriend, the person I loved the most, being buried at age eighteen.  An age that no one should ever have to miss out on.  Arguably, the best age of your life.  But Wes didn’t get that luxury.  And he never will.  But I will.  I’ll get that year, even though I don’t deserve it.

              So this was it.  The biggest ‘gotcha’ in the history of ‘gotcha’s.’  I didn’t know it would feel this horrible.  I never would’ve played the game in the first place.  Never would've followed the Wish van.  Never would've went into the kitchen.  But I did.  And I can’t take that back. 

              The waves continued to crash as dark clouds filled the sky, preparing for a storm.  I could hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance.  More noise.  Just what I need.  Lightning finally struck off in the distance, just close enough to see.  Wes loved storms.  Loved the way it made his sculptures spin and come to life.  Loved that everything looked so bright after them.  Loved everything about them.  But he wouldn’t be here for this one. 

             Without thinking I reached into my pocket and grabbed the waffle pencil.  Cradling it in my hands, I stroked it back and forth, as if it was the last remains I had of Wes and I had to be careful, oh so careful, not to lose this as well.  Slowly I brought the pencil up to my nose where I inhaled the syrupy scent.  Smelling that for the first time since Wes died brought the memories rushing back like the swelling tears in my eyes. 

              I didn’t expect to cry, but I did.  I collapsed to the wet sand and cried.  Bawled for hours.  The pain was unbearable.  I couldn’t stand it anymore, just wanted someone to take it from me.  But you can’t run away from yourself, which made this all much more difficult to bear. 

              Wes never answered my last Truth question.  ‘What is your forever going to be like?’  It was an awkwardly worded question, but he knew what I meant.  He always did.  Thinking back now, it was like he knew what his forever held for him, but he didn’t want to tell me.  Instead of answering, he quickly grabbed his keys out of his pockets, “Let’s go get ice cream.”  I had wanted to say no, but, like I said, I don’t let the people I love leave without me now.  But that one fateful car ride changed it all.  It doesn’t matter the circumstances, if it’s meant to be, it will happen.  And there’s no stopping that.  Finally the tears subsided and I was able to at least sit up and breathe, if only for a moment.  “Wes is dead,” I muttered, “And that’s the truth about forever.”

   

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