• today was my birthday at school...yea and this guy had to fuck it all up made fun of my family...he got the worst of me i cried, for reasons, and my friends comforted me told me he didnt care what he did hasnt said anything so me and my friends are making his life a living hell, telling him he only swims to parade around in a speedo (true) we call him gay (true, we think) trip him, unzip his back pack childish i know, but i have never felt hate like this before, never such hatred. to think that someone could be so selfish is beyond me. i truly have no control over my body either, i feel like everytime i lay eyes on him i'm going to slap him, i felt an urge to just kick him, punch him, slap him, hurt him until he couldnt bare it. never this kind of hate. its weird knowing you have no control over your body. how ever he did get called down to guidance today for fighting with my friend in s.s. and he started crying ( i don't know why i get such joy out of that but sickly, i do) but he denied everything, m set the guidance counselor straight. i cried all day today. couldn't control it. i feel so ashamed. its an indescribable feeling, it truly is. not only did he make fun of my family, but i have other problems that are no laughing matter and he seems to find it comical. go figure, so jouvenile. it hurts so bad. bad names, crude gestures, what good can that do? he said what he said, he's not sorry, he doesn't care. how can i change that? but, how can i let it go? its MY family, MY problems. how can you sit there and make a girl cry over something SO sensitive to her? how could one go about doing that? i don't understand. i feel so alone in this, no one knows, no one understands. its me against the world. he's evil, pure evil. his sick twisted mind can burn in hell. never this much hatred. never do i want to feel like this again

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