What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

I want this V-chip out of me,
It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

And I just want my mom
To stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano would do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,
He'd call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for true
That's what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot kings
and saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kubela Kong.

Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body

So lets all get together,
And unite to stop our mom's
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano do.

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano dooooo,
That's what Brian Boitano do.


Lyrics submitted by spliphstar

What Would Brian Boitano Do? song meanings
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7 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentThis is a really really funny song. The first time I heard it, I got it stuck in my head for three days!
    BackstConfessionalon April 12, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't know? What would Brian Boitano do?
    TheSwej16on May 22, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentdont want to be seen as reading too much into it but:

    sometimes sportsmen get into the zone where it seems like theres nothing they cant do. i think the guys are getting up the courage to do what they need to, trying to get into the zone. after all, its what the best do.
    arjanon September 04, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentYou left out the Brian Dennehy part... But I love this song, and the DVDA version is awesome too
    avs2006on December 25, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI've never seen a man, eat so many chicken wings!
    CheeseSandwhichon May 27, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentKublah Kahn
    tjwellson April 06, 2008   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationIt's about what the characters of South Park think Brian Boitano would do in various situations.
    seeingon December 29, 2014   Link

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