The Couch

God..I can't believe it's been years and I still love this song...

It is mos def about sitting with a shrink and alternates between first the shrink, her dad and then Alanis at the end. Who knows, they could have had a group session.

The first line is the shrink or Alanis talking to the Alanis's dad telling him about his childhood. If you've ever been to a therapist, that's what you do; we are who we are because of past experiences. "You hadn't seen your father in such a long time, he died in the arms of his lover, how dare he. Your mother never left the house, she never married anyone, as you took it upon yourself to console her." So we're getting into an issue of a boy having to take on the role of husband and a support for his mother at a young age (later we learn that she was an alcoholic too, so that sucks). No doubt, he probably had been in this role for some time as "you hadn't seen your father in such a long time" shows us that his dad wasn't there much. She took out her anguish and anger on him because he looked like his dad. God, already such an effed up childhood: "You reminded her so much of your father so you were banished and you wonder why you're so hypersensitive and why you can't trust anyone but us?"

Now the dad talks: "But how...can I begin to forgive her so many years under bridges with dirty water, she was foolish, and selfish, and cowardly if you asked me." He needs to forgive her to be able to let go and he knows this. "I don't know where to begin in all of my 50-odd years I have been silently suffering and adapting, perpetuating, and enduring. Who are you younger generation to tell me that I have unresolved problems, not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labor" He's been around for awhile, and he's lived this long with this baggage so what difference does it make if he sees a shrink to realize it? Am I going to reap some reward for going through all of my personal details with you? The dad continues to talk about the shrink "terminology" like grieve and heal and mourn. Which leads me to believe that Alanis pushed her father to see a shrink because maybe his mother (her grandmother) died recently and he didn't show any emotion whatsoever? "I feel fine we, may not have been born as awake as you were. It was much harder in those days we had paper routes uphill both ways We went from school to a job to a wife to instant parenthood" He's giving excuses.."I'm fine..that's just the way it was back then." And probably using the term "awake" sarcastically (that's just my take).

"I walked into his office; I felt so self-conscious on the couch, he was sitting down across from me, he was writing down his 'hypothesis', I don't know. I've got a loving, supportive wife who doesn't know how involved she should get. You say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?" He's in another session now talking about the present and what's going on in his life with Alanis's mom. The dad is telling Alanis about it and asking questions. He continues talking with her "Just the other day, my sweet daughter, I was driving past 203, I walked up the stairs in my minds eye, I remember how they would creak loudly; she was only responsive with a drink, he was only responsive by photo, I was only trying to be the best big brother that I could.." I think he's talking about driving past the old house and remembering and finally understanding and realizing that yeah, my mom was a drunk, my dad was never there, and it was not my fault that they were that way; I just wanted to be a good big brother. He's saying this to his daughter and would probably be considered a "breakthrough."

"I've walked sometimes confused sometimes ready to crack open wide Sometimes indignant sometimes raw. Can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour? SometimesIt feels like highway robbery, and sometimes it's peanuts. I wish it could last a couple more hours" He uses past tense to say that before, he walked around angry and didn't know how to work through it; he just wanted to crack open because of all he had been through with his mom and family (now he realizes). And he's realizing that therapy is a good thing; sometimes indispensable, sometimes not (which is so true).

And then it comes to Alanis who says: "So here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally) You see in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually, you're not relinquishing your majestry. You are wise, you are warm, you are courageous you are big and I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life" She's saying do you see how your problems are my problems too? It's not coincidence; we're blood and whatever happened to you in your past affects me today. But because you know now on a deeper level about what your childhood meant and how it was affected by how you grew up, does not make you less of a man or lesser of the great man that is my father.