I Don't Like Who I Was Then

Tossed around like sea glass, and you rounded out my edges
I'll feel better when the headaches go away
I've got a scar across my forehead, turning purple in the cold
From a night at Shore Memorial, I was sixteen and afraid
Turned away
And I'm working babyface
Out of Mid-South in the eighties
I kept a blade hidden in my wrist tape

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run till my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough

Hidden in the tall grass, in the naked light of day
Put my past self in the ground, I've been dancing on the grave
I'm not the person that I was then, you're standing in the way
I was bitter, I was careless, I was nineteen and afraid

But you deserve more from me
I don't know why I would say those things
But you deserve more than me and I'm trying every day

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run till my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough

Let me walk in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the baby teeth I buried
You were the sounds of distant cars

Let me walk in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the banner that says "no one"
That I tattooed across my heart

Let me walk in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You scattered like ashes across every song that I write
You are the light pollution stars

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run till my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
Enough is enough