Starting Over

This song is very powerful for me. As a recovering addict, there is something very humbling about relapse, and I have a deep respect for Macklemore for writing this, and his song Otherside.

"Those three-plus years, I was so proud of And I threw ‘em all away for two Styrofoam cups" Here he is talking about his three years sober from Codine, and that he threw away the three years he was sober for two cups of Codine (Codine is sipped often from a foam cup)

"The irony, everyone will think that he lied to me Made my sobriety so public, there’s no fuckin’ privacy If I don’t talk about it then I carry a date 08-10-08, but now it’s been changed in every way." Here he is saying that he is afraid he will be called a liar, that his recovery was false because he made it so public. He is saying if he doesn't tell people he can keep his sober date, and no one will know except him.

"When they put me in some box as a saint I never was, it’s the false prophet that never came And well they think that everything that I written has all been fake Oh well I’ll just take my slip to the grave"

Here he is saying he feels like he was glorified, and he feels that since he has been so public about his recovery process, people may see a slip up as him being a fake, so maybe he will just take his "slip" or mistake to the grave with him.

"Uh, what the fuck are my parents gonna say? The success story that got his life together and changed And you know what pain looks like When you tell your dad you relapse and look him directly into his face The seat on your shoulder’s the seemingly heavy weight I’ve been seeing tears like this on my girl In a while the trust that I once built’s been betrayed"

In this paragraph, he is talking about telling his loved ones that he relapsed. One of the hardest things to do in life is coming clean about a relapse, because it doesn't only hurt you, it hurts the people who wanted you to be clean.

"But I’d rather live telling the truth then be judged for my mistakes Than falsely held up, given props, loved and praised I guess I gotta get this on the page" Here he is saying that he would rather come clean, and have everyone know he messed up, then to be congratulated for being clean for so long when he wasn't. He is writing out his struggle.

"Feeling sick and helpless, lost the compass where self is I know what I gotta do and I can’t help it"

Here he is saying he lost himself in relapse "lost the compass where self is" He knows he needs to come clean and get clean again,

"One day at a time is what they tell us Now I gotta find a way to tell them God help ‘em" One day at a time is what they tell us Now I gotta find a way to tell them"

Here he is talking probably about his support group and coming clean to them. It can be hard to admit relapse, especially in support group when you've been clean for so long and people look to you for strength.

"We fall so hard Now we gotta get back what we lost.. lost.. I thought you’d go But you were with me all along.. along.."

In addiction, there is no one drink, or one hit. You fall hard. It is a struggle to get back what you loose. When he says "I thought you'd go, but you were with me all along" I assume he means his family. He was afraid when he spoke of the relapse they would leave him because he failed, But they didn't.

"And every kid that came up to me And said I was the music they listened to when they first got clean Now look at me, a couple days sober I’m fighting demons"

Here he is talking about young people that come to him, and tell him they helped them come clean, that they look up to him because he'd been clean for so long and beat addiction, and he wants to tell them that he is still fighting, that he isn't perfect, that he stumbled.

"Back of that meeting on the east side Shaking tweakin', hope that they don’t see it Hope that no one is looking That no one recognizes that failure under that hoodie Was posted in the back with my hands crossed shooken If they call on me I’m passing, if they talk to me I’m booking out that door"

In meetings they will often call on you, or ask you if you want to talk. What he is saying here was that he was in his meeting, tweeking (probably from Codeine, or withdrawls) He is saying he hopes no one will see that he has messed up, and relapsed, and that if anyone tries to talk to him, he will run.

"But before I can make it somebody stops me and says are you Macklemore? Maybe this isn’t the place or time I just wanted to say that if it wasn’t for other side I wouldn’t have made it I just look down at the ground and say thank you She tells me she has 9 months and that she’s so grateful Tears in her eyes, looking like she’s gonna cry.. fuck! I barely got 48 hours, treated like I’m some wise monk I wanna tell her I relapsed but I can’t I just shake her hand and tell her congrats"

A woman tells him that if it wasn't for his music, and him as a role model, she wouldn't have ever made her recovery. He doesn't have the heart to tell her that he relapsed, he feels she shouldn't look up to him that he struggles too! He hasn't been clean for three years anymore, he doesn't say anything and leaves.

"Get back to my car and I think I’m tripping yea Cuz God wrote Otherside, that pen was in my hand I’m just a flawed man, man I fucked up up Like so many others I just never thought I would I never thought I would, didn’t pick up the book Doin’ it by myself, didn’t turn out that good"

He goes back to his car, and thinks about how he is flawed like everyone else. No one thinks they will fall into relapse, but some do. He is saying he is still human, and that he tried to do things by himself, without help and it didn't work.

"If I can be an example of getting sober Then I can be an example of starting over If I can be an example of getting sober Then I can be an example of starting over"

Self explanatory. If so many people found hope in the fact that he was sober, because he was public about it, then he can give hope to people who relapse too.

We fall so hard Now we gotta get back what we lost.. lost.. I thought you’d go But you were with me all along.. along..

We fall so hard Now we gotta get back what we lost.. lost..

I am guessing this will be the first of many comments on this song. Macklemore certainly puts his emotions into his music and this is a classic example. Tremendous song.